I am married for the past 4 years i have a 1 1/2 year old and am pregnant again due any day now. For the past 2 years my husband has changed from the warm and loving guy to someone who doesn't seem to care about anything and who procrastinates and puts me last all of a sudden. Especially since i had my son.
He has relocated to another state for a job and i want to move out there to be with him especially since the new baby is coming but he has made no efforts to find a place for us to live as a family he himself stays in an efficeny room. He wants me to stay here in the state that i am currently in and raise the kids.
I honestly feel like i should leave him and raise my boys myself. because if he wont be home but twice a month then whats the point. He hangs out playing basket ball with co workers or bowling and it seems like he is having a ball being on his own without us. He says he loves us all the time but actions speak louder than words. Help I would like some advice. Thank
2006-08-23 18:37:16 · 14 answers · asked by Driz69 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
take off
2006-08-23 18:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok my advice is gonna be harsh but I know what ur going thru I am going thru pure hell with my own husband right now and I am leaving him but It sounds like u need to leave ur husband first off yall dont have a marriage all you have is a piece of paper married people live together and want to be together and will make every effort possiable to be together it sounds like ur hubby has already moved on to someone else and u need to live for ur children u need to be careful if u are pregnant dont get upset dont let him get u upset when I was pregnant with my second child my hubby pulled that kind of crap with me and guess what I got so upset all the time my nerves were wracked I was to the end of my pregnacy well I went into labor and lost her she died during labor I have managed to stay with husband since then she passed a lil over a year ago and since then my husband has made things even worse to the point I cant live with him dont let that happen to u get rid of him if u dont love him dont stay with him for ur kids they will be the same with out him if he doesnt see ur 1st born child but twice a month so please think of u first and not him I am sorry but from what I have read it sounds like he doesnt love u neither why do that to ur selves I hope the best for u
2006-08-24 01:55:49 · answer #2 · answered by JJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ALREADY KNOW THA ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION.
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE WITH A GUY WHO HAS ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR BABIES? BY THE WAY, QUIT HAVING BABIES WITH HIM TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. THAT IS TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY FOR A CHLD.
HE HAS SHOWN YOU THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL MAN ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT. THE RESPONSIBILITY MAKES HIM FEEL INADEQUATE. IF YOU TRAP HIM BY FOLLOWING HIM, HE WILL TUNE YOU OUT AND CHEAT OR RESORT TO PORN ANYWAY. HE WILL KEEP DOING THINGS TO GET BACK AT YOU FOR HIS OWN FEELINGS. YOU DESERVE BETTER. SO DO YOUR BABIES.
TAKE HIM TO COURT AND SUE FOR DIVORCE ON GROUNDS OF ABANDONMENT. ADD WHATEVER ELSE YOU CAN, MENTAL CRUELTY, THE WORKS. MAKE HIM PAY FOR THE LAWYERS. GET ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT. THIS, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO.
QUIT WASTING YOUR TIME HOPING THINGS WILL CHANGE. GET BACK AT HIM BY NOT LETTING THIS DESTROY YOU. AND BY BECOMING MORE INDEPENDENT.
SHOW YOUR KIDS, WITH YOUR BEHAVIOR, ALL ABOUT HOW A RESPONSIBLE, STRONG, AND INDEPENDENT ADULT BEHAVES. AND SHOW THEM THAT YOU WILL NOT PUT UP WITH ANYONE MISTREATING YOU. YOU ARE THEIR MENTOR.......DO THIS FOR THEM.
HE MAY LOVE YOU, BUT HE HAS A PROBLEM AND YOU ARE IN THE WAY. MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM. YOU CAN'T FIX OR CHANGE HIM. HE IS SHOWING YOU THAT YOU CAN'T COUNT ON HIM, ANYWAY.
GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE!
2006-08-24 01:57:58 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, he has already left you. Sounds to me like he is thinking that he can have the best of both worlds. He can live this great single life and not have to take resposibility or pay child support. Hold him accountable and find someone who will love you and your kids, repsonsibility and all.
2006-08-24 01:44:29 · answer #4 · answered by Brooke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should get out, but make sure you take him for alot. What a jerk to leave his pregnant wife alone while he plays basketball with the friends....find a good lawyer and suck him dry.
2006-08-24 01:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by rohwaldy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that he has already broken ties with you. He is living in another state and wants you to stay there and raise the kids???? WTF is up with that. Show some respect for yourself. You have to respect yourself or no one else will. Your kids and you are what matters, let him play his games. I cannot understand why if he loves you why he would not have you there with him. If you love someone you do whatever it takes to be with them. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-24 01:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough call--you have enough reasons to leave or let him leave; raising children is hard with 2 parents much less only 1, you have to weigh it out from moral, spiritual(if this applies), financial, and physical aspects. Good luck
2006-08-24 01:52:21 · answer #7 · answered by phyllis_neel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ask him to go to marital counseling with you and find out why he is neglecting you and the kids. he forgot what a husband is. it is hard to raise children by yourself but WOMEN does it everyday. get child support and try to get spousal support. you can see how the procedure goes on divorce court t.v. show. i think your husband has another woman or women in his life. this is so f-up for you. leave his azz!
2006-08-24 01:44:20 · answer #8 · answered by averilyn06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him
you seem to be able to handle yourself
why wait with all your reasons given?
2006-08-24 01:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well f your not happy then leave him but i think you should askhim what he whant and tell him tha it seems like he whants to be single and if thats what he want he should tel you
2006-08-24 01:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by tiff 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, if he is not there for you i guess you dont need him. And maybe it is better now then later.
2006-08-24 01:43:44 · answer #11 · answered by nisi1t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋