...or whatever...
2006-08-23 18:31:56 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-08-24 17:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'll tell you a little bit about my day. Earlier today, I went to pick up the cremated remains of my dead dog. I loved that dog. So I'm walking around in a thunderstorm clutching this little wooden box that used to contain a friend of mine. Then I checked my e-mail and found out that a certain minister of my acquaintance has been arrested for a sex crime. Then I ended up at a friend's house babbling about my dog while watching a bunch of totally ridiculous 1980s metal videos. Then I came home, and a teenager dressed in black (at nearly midnight on a dark street, nice way to make yourself visible to oncoming traffic) suddenly darted out in front of my car, and had it not been for quick reflexes on my part, I'd have mowed him down. Then, as if his stupidity were somehow MY fault, the punk got mad and tried to kick in my car window (unsuccessfully, because he was a pimply little wimp). Also, I saw a house burning down. Anyway, a lot more happened, but those are a few highlights.
2006-08-23 18:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by thaliax 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
aight people. im just bored outta my mind...20/m...anyone care to tell me a joke...or tell me bout your day...
...or whatever...
2015-08-12 08:42:58 · answer #3 · answered by Jaquelin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby seal walks into a club.
**************
A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.
The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.
The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.
The pope told the brunette to take the last one.
The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"
******************
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
*****************************
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.
In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"
In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.
He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"
The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.
In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.
The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
*************************
A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad because all the cars were leaving.
********************************
Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.
As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"
After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.
**************************
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!
2006-08-27 11:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by BethS 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was at work and went out to my van this morning. I heard some yelling and saw two cars side by side on the other side of the parking lot, the driver of one was yelling at the driver of the other. There were two women standing close to the yelling car, yelling at him. Apparently he said something that pissed of one of the women and she slapped him. He took a swing at her from his car, by now I was heading over there. Next thing I know, this guy gets out and shoves the woman knocking her into the back of a van, takes a round house swing at her but she ducked and he missed. Now I am sprinting at this SOB. His passenger sees me and warns him, the coward jumps in his car and burns rubber out before I can get to him. New car, no plates. All I know is he was middle eastern. I'm 5'10, 54 years old and 285 pounds, but I can move. Guess seeing a pissed off man charging him scared the crap out of him. The whole thing started because the other driver stopped in front of him to get to a mail box. When he whipped around her to ***** her out he almost hit the two women that were walking through the parking lot. Don't care what was said, you don't hit a woman unless you are defending your life. I would have beaten the crap out of the guy if I had caught him. That was my morning, how was/is yours?
2006-08-23 18:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by sparkletina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is a simple Joke.
Not only that its a joke but its also a fact.
"When the first chinese immigrants came to europe many years ago, they were shocked to discover that europeans ate with swords".
2006-08-27 04:35:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, a joke it is ...
Dynamite!
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have." He tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, "What massive calves you have."
The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby."
He then removes his underwear and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear. The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her.
He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"
2006-08-24 10:26:24 · answer #7 · answered by Hi y´all ! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says "dam"
*********
Two peanuts walk into a bar
One was a salted.
**********
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
**********
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
**********
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was brilliant.
**********
Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
**********
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'.
" That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
**********
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullsh#t before
**********
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
**********
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad......or maybe my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
**********
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.
**********
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with nuts & hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.
**********
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
**********
Two fish are in a tank
One says to the other "I'll man the guns, you drive"
2006-08-23 18:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by Harry 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NaNa , That is so very beautiful and any good mother should smile , if your someone other than the mother being a childs angel then you should know you were hand picked. Thanks NaNa ( just got home with my son from the ER AT 3:30AM ...I was being the angel )
2016-03-13 10:41:24 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand.
"I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard w/my kitty & the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start &, before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard."
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... & before he could say "F#ck," the rottweiler ate him!"
2006-08-23 21:56:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋