Is it a woman thing? ladies only ask question part one guys answer question part two?

Question

ladies please answer question part one ................. When a couple share a bank account the woman knows the man is very into surprising her when he goes and requests small amounts of money out of the clear blue sky from thier account to prepare to do something special....(mind you their anniversary is next month, or her birthday is coming up) do women usually get antsey about the account like whats it for, why do you need it, we need to pay bills, ya da ya da ya da. I just want to know is this a woman thing. should it be done another way to avoid the anarchy. Because when its all said and done it ususally ends with the guy saying forget it, and when he tells her she's like oh well you can do it yada ya da ya da.

guys answer question part two.......................... is it even worth it to bother going through all the retorick?

Answer 1

If this is a problem that your having then this is what I would do. As I have had to do it myself several times.
This is not just a female thing.....lol

You know that these special occasions are coming up months in advance so what you do is take out a little here, a little there, keep the change from dinner, spend a little less at the grocery store, a little less shopping, whatever you have to do in order to hold on to that money without your spouse knowing about it.
That way it is a TOTAL surprise and you don't have to explain where the money is that you are taking out of the account.

Answer 2

from my personal experience, my husband and I have a budget we follow, so there is miscelaneous money we can use for anything. plus, our shared bank account is for bills anyway. We both have separate credit cards. So I'm always surprised when he buys me something for 2 reasons, I don't see it on the bill until later, and he hardly ever buys me anything! I usually have to beg!!! I'm just kidding, but not really. It just depends on the relationship. I know my husband wants to do nice things for me if he can, so when those times of the year come around, I just try to forget about it until it happens, or doesn't happen. And to answer the guys part, YES it is worth it!!!!! A woman is ALWAYS worth it. If we aren't then neither are you!!!! You think it's easy being married to a "BOY"? Think of all the crap we have to put up with and your worried about retoric! Try being more sly, save $20 or so here and ther, this way when the time comes, BAM! $500 neclace she's been wanting and can't believe you remembered!!! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

Money is a common issue for couples to disagree on, and you two obviously have very different views on how your shared money should be spent.

Concerns about money and spending are not necessarily a "woman" thing, and it is acutally just as common, if not more common, for men to be worried about their partner's spending.

If money is tight, or if she is trying to save for something, she may be particularly inquisitive about your spending. What you see as a "small amount," she may not. For example, you may think withdrawing $500 for a special occasion is nothing, while she may see it as being something huge and feel hurt that you didnt consult her.

I'd suggest talking to her about spending. Share your views, and be open to hers. You might consider setting some guidelines to your account or spending. For example, you discuss purchases/withdrawls of over $1000 ($500? $5000?) with each other first.

Answer 4

Just do what you feel is your best call. How bad do you want to surprise her . If you want the surprise bad enough just see it through in the end she'll see that it was worth you being sneaky .If you have to ask for money than it sounds like it's not a very joint account to begin with.

Answer 5

My husband and I have seperate bank accounts for ourselves and one joint account just to pay bills. We both deposit more than enough money in to the joint account to pay bills and to keep cushion in there in case of an emergency. Then, we know that part is taken care of. Then the seperate accounts are for surprises for each other, stuff for ourselves, stuff for the kids, etc. It kind of gives the relationship more of a 'still dating' feel when the other doesn't know you're taking out money to get them a surprise or take them out for a night.

Answer 6

Just tell her that you are planning something and discuss what kind of budget you have. For example Honey, I know there is a special occassion coming up. I would love to plan a little something for you, what does the budget look like? Or just keep some cash out when you deposit your check. Or tell her you are drawing money out for one thing and then use it for your surprise. Honest communication is never a bad thing.

Answer 7

Well, one solution is to take out a certain amount of cash each pay period. That way you won't have to take it from the account. It's sort of like your "allowance" to do with as you wish.

My husband and I have separate accounts, and we don't keep tabs on each other. He pays for certain bills, and I cover the others. We occasional "borrow" money from one another though.

Answer 8

Wow, maybe you should split your bank accounts where each pays bills according to the amount of bills and the salary. That way there wouldn't be that mistrust. We had two bank accounts till I quit work and still he trust me not to spend when we dont have any.

Answer 9

Mu husband has a special place in his wallet he hides his money for such special occasions like you are suggesting and surprises the heck out of me. If he was to withdraw money from the account I would wonder why.

Answer 10

Yes surprise her, we alway love it. She just making sure your not spending money on someone else it will be ok.