What is your opinion on men establishing friendships with woman after they are married. My husband recently developed a "friendhip" with a co worker at the school that they teach at. We have been having marital issues for the last 2 yrs and he says that he can talk to her about his problems. I happen to be a little old fashioned about these types of relationships. I think that if he needs to talk about his issues that relate to our marriage he should seek couseling. He thinks it's okay to have woman friends and talk to them about his personal issues. I would not have a problem if it was someone he knew well before we were together but someone new is not appropriate according to me. (I am also not stupid to not assume that he may be cheating).
2006-08-23 17:24:48 · 12 answers · asked by pinksmycolor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, it is not. But the fact that he is doing this shows that there is a great void in your relationship. We all have secrets, but how often do we share them with others than our spouse. I would sit down and try to have a heart to heart with your husband. If you value your relationship, you will do what ever it takes to keep him. This may mean a little sacrifice on both of your ends. He needs to understand why you are upset, not just the fact that you are his wife, but you should also be his best friend!!!
I pray that you guys get a chance to work this out before it is too late...
Good Luck & God Bless!!
2006-08-23 17:31:23 · answer #1 · answered by O Jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say I wouldn't be comfortable with it at all. However, on the flip side of the coin, I've had coworkers who have been comfortable enough for whatever reason to open up to me about their personal lives. Quite frankly, I don't know what spurs this on as I most time wish they wouldn't. I really don't want to know the in's and out's of other people's personal relationships. And, I assure you, I am NOT, nor have i ever, nor would I ever engage in an affair with any of them. Sometimes someone just needs a sounding board or an objective opinion from someone not personally involved. Hopefully that's all it is. I definately still wouldn't like it. Who likes to know that their husband is talking to some other women about their personal lives? On the good side again, the fact that he has told you about this woman and the fact that he talks to her about your personal life could be kind of like a plus. At least he's still talking to you too. It may not be so bad. Hopefully in time his need to talk to her will diminish rather than increase but in the meantime....keep your friends close and your enemies closer, if you know what I mean. You don't sound nieve to me so all I can say is, don't jump to conclusions but keep your eyes and ears open. Good luck.
2006-08-23 17:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by Super-Mom9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a female and have been married for over 25 years. I have always related to men better than women and have had men as friends. My husband has NO close friends. He is a very private person and intraverted. He does not like to talk about anything with me. So if I want to carry on a conversation, I have to talk to other people for my own sanity. My very best friend for the past 10 years has been a male. He has been married for 16 years. We have a great friendship and I honestly do not know what I would do without him. He gives me advice and lets me know a man's point of view on certain issues. As long as I have him, I do not need a counselor. He knows me better than I know myself. There is NOTHING wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. You just need to trust your husband. Maybe you need to find a male friend that you can relate to. Believe me, they are the best!
2006-08-23 17:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by ru.barbie2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with a man making new friends with other women after they are married. I do see a provlem with a man who seems to able to talk to another women about his married life but not his wife. There may be something more going on here than what meets the eye. I agree he needs to go to a marriage counsler with you to talk about the issues the two of you are having, By going to another person especially a woman he's is just opening up anothe can of worms and causing you to doubt your marriage and his fidelity. Most men talk with thier best friends about these issues not other women.
2006-08-23 17:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by pmemommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is Ok. people always talk about their family at work with co-worker/friends. Nothing will happen. It is just a kind of relief and people do that at work all the time. Don't worry, there is no cheating.
2006-08-23 17:31:16 · answer #5 · answered by 1001Questions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm..well yea i think i would be pissed off too.and im getting married next summer..lol
and well my fiancee does like to have lady friends.
but yea why dont you sit down with him one night or b4 u two go to sleep talk to him, tell him. u know u can talk to me about anything.u know that right?
and if he says i know
then ask him what is on ur mind? if he says he rather not talk about it or nothing..he is lying..i know that already. its a game guys love to play.
okay a sign that he is cheating on u..think, when was the last time u had sex..ok? if recently like within the last 3 days or even2 i dont think he is cheating on u..but in like a long time in ur standards compared to when u were when u first started having sex and such..then i would think he is cheating on u..cuz guys who get some ans go home wont want some..u know what i mean? and if u have to snoop around. follow him, check his emails or phone calls..*69 or *67, or whatever that number is to see the last phone call he had or talked too..dont be afraid to protect your feelings, cuz if he is..its better to catch it early..ok? rather than let it drag on for a long time..ok? i hope it works out for u..
2006-08-23 17:38:32 · answer #6 · answered by yummy_20032001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my father had a female friend he could talk to.. well we just found out the other day hes been sleeping with her for the last 3 years
2006-08-23 17:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by Jayme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,it ain't a maybe.He is cheatin'.You need to leave him.He is potentially opening you up to STD's.It is obviously physical.I can't belive they work in a school...Never mind, I'm not even shocked.I guess things are easier said than done.
2006-08-23 17:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by nope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO female friends do not work out. Nor do they help anything but make the wife miserable.
2006-08-23 17:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by noggle4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a lot if guy friends . so i think its ok . but i dont think they should go out alone together , at least meet in public places. not bars .
2006-08-23 17:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by porcelain65711 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋