He lives in another state and we have not seen each other in three years. He does not trust me to go and I want to get a paternity test done because I know that it is his child. What should I do and if you also (like me) agree that I should go and do what is best for my son's welfare and support by getting child support started what should I say to my husband to ease his mind?
2006-08-23 17:14:52 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have asked him to come with me and he will not take off of work for it because he is in the military.
2006-08-23 17:23:44 · update #1
No I have never cheated on my husband even though he has not done me right. The father is in MS and I am in Ok
2006-08-23 17:28:07 · update #2
i wouldn't concern myself with him i would just do what needs done
to answer your question yes he should let you go and it should not even be a concern that is ridiculous
2006-08-23 17:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This should of been agreed on before you got married.
I say YES.
But if you have a good relationship and the kid knows that his step dad is his dad, then whats the problem.
My daughter had a daughter by a man who lives in another town. Her daughter considers her moms bf to be her daddy. She ocassionally sees her sperm doner father on rare ocassions. She is 5 years old and has a good understanding that he is her birth father. But the man that lives with her mom is her daddy and will always be her daddy. Eventually she will have his last name. She has an amazing wisdom about this.
If your husband argues over this and the tension lingers, your child will feel the tension and it will hurt..Sometimes the step dad needs to take a step back now and again, but when all is said and done......he is the DADDY.
Show the answers to your husband, have an open discussion.
Look at things from all angles and make a decision together.
Also you can order via the courts for the possible birth father to be tested in his state and the results mailed to the DA's office where you live.
The age of your child matters also. Does your husband think the child is his? Also he maybe wants full financial responsibablity for the kid that he considers his. There are no easy answers to this.
2006-08-23 17:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he should let you go. It'd be rather foolish of him not to. This isn't about you, him, or the ex for that matter. It's about your son...nothing more, nothing less. If it were me, I'd actually insist he take a day or two off of work so you can get this done with him, rather than without him. He's being protective of you, so play into it. Tell him you need him there in case anything happens. Tell him whatever the heck you need to. Your son deserves the child support and your ex needs to give up some DNA.
If he still refuses to budge, then you are going to have to go on your own. You are an adult and you don't need permission from him. It's going to cause problems I'm sure, but he's really not leaving you much of a choice. Is he?
2006-08-23 17:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son matters more. You can obtain the DNA and child support if it is the guy in the other state. It is best the bi logical father comes to see you and your son in your state.
Your husband has trust issue's, which means there is some issue's in this marriage that needs to be delt with. If he can't trust you, then there is something wrong and a reason for him not to?
2006-08-23 17:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband does not trust you to go there is NOTHING going to ease his mind! However,if you and he are struggling due to the lack of fundage because you are spending out money your ex could be helping with then put it to him that way,you and he will have to pay LESS out of YOUR pockets...most men will jump @ the chance to save their money...lol...but seriously,you NEED to do what is BEST for your son! If this is a good influence to have around your child???If you are willing to split your time with your son with your ex???????AND most of all....YOU AND HE must be willing to put all differences aside NEVER argue/scream @ one another in his presence. I completely agree with wanting to know for sure and possible child support help,but look deep within your possibilities and decide carefully...you only get ONE shot to get it right!Good Luck on this Hard choice you are stuck with...Think of what is BEST for your son...NOT you and you should be grand....Have A Great Day!!!!!
2006-08-23 17:32:20 · answer #5 · answered by xaviersmother2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he sould go with u if he is that insecure about the situation but either way you and your son need to go if he decides he doesnt want to then so be it this is for the welfare of your child not your husband. you need to be honest and up front with him.i always say honesty is the best policy and good luck with the testing kids need to know where they come from whether good or bad he needs to know his roots
2006-08-23 17:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by nvvlewis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
enable him meet him and settle on for himself. My mom did not tell my dad about me till i became 16, I contacted him, and that i made her tell him. I nevertheless have not met him and that i very a lot resent her for it. She became attempting to "preserve" me, even with the undeniable fact that it has left a hollow in my coronary heart... Im married to a marvelous guy, I easily have a marvelous existence, yet on a daily basis i ask your self about my dad and what our relationship might want to be like if we knew one yet another. per chance clarify on your son that he's a deadbeat... dont bash him, basically tell him now to not have too extreme of expectancies so he might want to be mentally prepared. attempt this previously your son begins feeling green with envy of you and make assembly his dad a concern so he can fill that hollow and note of that you took it heavily. believe me, telling him he's a loser and by no skill letting him meet him gained't make your son end questioning... help him fill that hollow.
2016-11-27 01:50:35 · answer #7 · answered by mccuistion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's feeling a little jealous right now. Can't he come there?? How far apart are you???
2006-08-23 17:26:04 · answer #8 · answered by bsnana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do the best for your son.Tell your husband:come with me.
2006-08-23 17:22:01 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"biological father"....there is no other, your son has to see his father
2006-08-23 17:23:20 · answer #10 · answered by mørbidsшεεŧnεss 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋