i had this affair with this guy when i was married to my ex husband due to the fact my first marriage was awful still i know no excuse for cheating-unfortunately i live with the guilt everyday, anyway i am remarried now and very happy but my husband can't stand the fact that i still talk to my ex lover...but should i stop being friends with the only person who was there for me emotionally and physically throughout my 1st bad marriage? i never want or would cheat on my husband now,
2006-08-23 17:03:24 · 12 answers · asked by babydoll12383 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no this is unacceptable
2006-08-23 17:05:40 · answer #1 · answered by I love money 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Babydoll, you opened the door.
I don't know why you felt the need to tell your new husband
exactly what your relationship was with this guy. You've
shown that you aren't the most trustworthy person.
Regardless of what you say about NOT cheating on your
new man, you're old guy is a reminder that you CAN be
unfaithful and not trustworthy.
Next, you've moved on with your life, and have stared a new
chapter with a new husband. Do you need that reminder
around you?
Last, tell your husband that "that was then, this is now"
accept that I have friends. If it becomes an issue with
the marriage, you're going to have to deal with it - together.
2006-08-23 17:09:28 · answer #2 · answered by Doofus McGoofus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you still friends with this man, anyway?... You did what you did to "survive" a bad marriage and now that your fulfilled and happy in your second marriage, you should cut off ties. I mean, yes, you DO have a friendship, that i understand, but why do you still have be buddies with him?... acknowledge him if you see him passing by, but your new husband should fulfill your needs emotionally, physically, etc.... you don't need to keep the deep friendship with this man. When he finds the right woman, he will do the same - not because you both didn't have something nice and helpful, but because thats the way the sexes work. You give yourself to your husband now and noone else. Unless of course, your husband is alright with it (which we know he isnt).
you know what to do. its hard, but cut the ties.
2006-08-23 17:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the problem: if you want to live more happy,you need to stop talking with your ex lover,because your husband never will think that you are only a friend.Maybe you will think the same way, if your husband is in the same situation you are right now.Men think different than women.Think about it.Good luck.
2006-08-23 17:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a sacred union sanctioned by God..Don't bring an ex lover into the marriage.Marriages involve three-You, your spouse and God,By being in constant contact with your ex lover you are
bringing back and reinforcing your past guilt. as well as making your husband feel uncomfortable and perhaps question if the feelings you have for him
2006-08-23 17:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by prettycoolchick38 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be best for your marriage to no longer talk with an ex lover. He is your main concern now, and he is obviously threatened by this guy. Marriages are build on trust, respect, admiration, and passion. You shared the passion with someone else before you met him and you now expect him to think that is probably gone. That's a lot to ask of a guy, and that is a big strain on a marriage. Betrayal is sthe cancer of a relationship, and he undoubtedly regards this as something of a betrayal. If you value your marriage, you will put your energies with your girlfriends.......
2006-08-23 17:13:59 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am glad that you fell guilty, that mean you have conscience. Tell the ex thanks but no thanks. Your husband has a right to fell jealous, you cheated with the other man in your first marriage. If you really love your husband say bye bye to the ex. of course the ex was there for you you were in a emotional place and very vulnerable.
2006-08-23 17:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by hotmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would it make you feel if your husband was in constant contact with his ex-lover . . .that he had an affair with while he was previously married?
Put yourself in the other shoes and look at it honestly. Personally, I would be HIGHLY uncomfortable with that.
2006-08-23 17:06:10 · answer #8 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, U are either with U'r current partner 100%, or U'r not. If you are, there is no need for a back-up, and if you are not, then let your current husband know, and decide if he wants to stay with u. If I were your current primary partner, I would be full of insecurity as to what it is I am not providing you with (emotionally/physically). Its really not fair to your current primary partner.
2006-08-23 17:09:27 · answer #9 · answered by capollar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is right? would you let your new husband be friends with a woman he had an affair with? How would you feel? If he is upset with it, then you need to choose. Its simple.
2006-08-23 17:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by nicolea0329 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u haven't u should tell your husband what you explained to us. but i don't think u should have to stop talking to your friend.explain to your husband that he is just a friend
2006-08-23 17:08:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋