The concern is "the law of attraction" the more you complain about sth. the more you attacted to those bad things. But if you don't tell him how can he know and treat you the way you want to be treated. Any sucessful experiences in relationship or marriage?
2006-08-23 16:54:28 · 61 answers · asked by 1001Questions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most definitely tell him. How will he know if you don't?
2006-08-23 16:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by Hidden .38 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can read your mind. Tell him, in a nice way, like you would like him to talk to you.
You know, there are some things you can fix and some you can't. YOU set the bar, since most people will do whatever they can get away with. Set your own standard.
Here is mine:
If he leaves the toilet seat up, or doesn't refill the ice cube trays, learn to live with it. Don't say anything. Pick your battles.
Don't be a nag.
If he hits you --one time---leave and never look back. It will escalate until he kills you. Do not negotiate with a terrorist.
If he disrespects you in front of others, tell him off and take a taxi home.
If he cheats on you, leave forever, unless you like it.
If he watches other women while with you, make a joke about it, and let him know that you think she's hot too, and you've already had her.
If he drinks or uses drugs, either let him or leave him. Don't help him be a drunk, by calling in sick for him and such. Let his own misbehavior catch up with him. Be a good example.
If you are attracted to mean or abusive men, seek help. It is about you and not them. Bullies need victims or they are just cruel jerks.
2006-08-31 08:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your question, "Should you tell a guy what you like/need?" Sure, but you can do so in a non threatening manner. Read the book "The Assertive Option". It is the standard in the field of communication. If you open up a conversation with "You always do....... I just hate it when you....." you are off to a bad start, and your husband or bf will immediately become defensive -- guys have a fragile ego, in case you didn't know that. If there is something that you wish, you can say, " gee, I really like it when you take the time to ........." or "Can we do this again, I love it when......" Much nicer. And you get what you want, and you don't make anyone angry. My mom always told me if I didn't have anything nice to say, never say it. In the above examples, you are saying only nice things.... get the point??? And yes, I get everything I want with stuff like this. There is not a lady on the planet treated better than I am, and I'll admit, there is not a man on the planet treated better than my sweetie......
The answers you have above are pretty childish. If you care for him you will do handstands to please him, and he the same for you. You just need to polish your communication skills....
2006-08-23 17:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are blessed to know what you like than by all means share that information with others.
The person(s) who love you take that into consideration AND that is what creates healthy relationships- no not their changing but the communication and consideration.
Never saw the law of attraction(except a closely related physics thingy) so really can not comment other than to say it may be one of those Hallmark moments thingys.
Successful healthy(keyword) relationships(marriage too) are based upon communication of each others needs(BUT not always met) and usually that involves interactions that are pleasurable.
Individuals who are attracted to 'bad things' or that hide their feelings already HAVE issues that they have brought to the 'relationship'.
2006-08-31 03:42:10 · answer #4 · answered by uncledad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mutual respect for each other has got to go unspoken but acted on everyday. Ever hear of the saying, "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS"? Well it does. I have been married for 20 years to the same wonderful man. Never once has he abused me in any way and to this day opens my doors for me and takes my hand as I get out of the car or truck door. If you don't have the respect for yourself you won't for anyone else either.
If he is treating you bad and you don't tell him to stop it when he's in middle of doing it, he may not know what it is he is doing wrong if he has become accustom to treating you bad in the first place. If I ever got treated bad in any way I'd leave the room and go somewhere else. And if I had to I'd get in my car and drive away.
2006-08-29 19:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by reasonable-sale-lots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many ways you can show disapproval. Hooking up with a guy bigger than him is one. Or you can get a pet rottweiler and sassy it before him. Or you can just ignore him and choose not to be affected. Or yu can just tell him how you feeI. It's the easier thing to do. But do it in a nice friendly way. I really don't believe in that "law of attraction." I kinda believe more on the "law of the harvest" - you reap what you sow. Show him your good, he'll treat you good. If not,
JUST SHOOT THE ******* DOWN!!!!!!!
Hope that helps.
2006-08-31 16:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by sleepy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If something about the way your other treats you bothers you... tell them. They may not even KNOW that it bothers you, or they may not take your discomfort seriously.
If they care about you, then they will make an effort to cease the behavior. For example: my current boyfriend was under the impression that since I am bisexual, I wouldn't mind at all if he gave a critique o the bedworthiness of every single woman in a resturant or coffeehouse. I told him I didn't appreciate it, he apologized and ceased.
If they continue to do it, especially in a provoking manner, than you deserve someone better than that.
2006-08-23 16:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by digitalgimpling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing is complaining and an other is letting him know or putting it out there. Without you telling him how you feel how will he ever know what is wrong or what to fix if you don't let him know. Honesty is always the best policy. I have been married to my husband for 11 years and I am only 29. I always wait til we are having a good meaningful conversation to bring up what is bothering me.
2006-08-31 12:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by oreo29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe very strongly in a relationship with honesty and respect. If you don't like something or the way you are being treated then yes, you need to speak up and be honest with your partner. There is nothing to hide. You need to remember that your feelings are just as important as his and if he is a true man then he will understand your true needs and wants. It is very simple be up-front and honest.
2006-08-31 07:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my partner was my friend for over a year before we started seeing each other exclusively. if you dont like the way someone is treating you, its your right to tell the person that you arent going to be treated like that.
my partner and i laid down the law at the beginning of our friendship so there was no surprises about what each other wants. we knew each other well before anything did get physical. we knew what the other wanted.
we have been together 9 years now and neither of us are going anywhere. the key to any good relationship is communication and trust. if one of us doesnt like the way things are going, we talk about it. if one of us doesnt like the way the other did something, we talk about it. neither of us are afraid to open our mouths and speak.
2006-08-30 02:04:04 · answer #10 · answered by lodeemae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should complain or nag. I think you should have a serious calm discussion about what you expect from a partner. Give him the chance to change his behavior, but if he doesn't simply move on.
Men will treat you any way you let them. You have to have enough self respect for yourself that you simply expect to be treated well.
2006-08-23 16:58:16 · answer #11 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋