I have 2 children. My youngest is 11 months. Ever since she was born I have completely lost my s ex drive. This really doesn't bother me at all, but it does bother my husband. Any successful stories out there on how to get it back? Herbs, vitamins, drugs...?? My husband will thank you.
2006-08-23 15:55:59 · 17 answers · asked by Ruthie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOOK WITHIN. YOUR LIFE HAS CHANGED AND YOU NOW HAVE MORE TO CONSIDER. SEX DRIVE IS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS TO BE AFFECTED WHEN YOUR LIFE CHANGES. WHAT YOU NEED IS EMPATHY AND COMPASSION. BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND.
HOW GOOD WOULD IT FEEL IF YOUR HUBBY CAME HOME FROM WORK TO GREET YOU WITH A KISS AND TOLD YOU "HOW IS THE MOST WOMDERFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD AND MOTHER OF MY CHILDERN DOING?" AND THEN HE TELLS YOU "GO TAKE A BREAK AND RECLINE WHILE I GET DINNER TOGETHER" AND THEN AFTER DINNER HE SAYS "GO TAKE A BUBBLEBATH WHILE I CLEAN UP AND GET THE KIDS TO BED, AND WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE, THINK OF WHAT MOVIE YOU WANT TO WATCH".
HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? TELL HIM THAT.
THEN HOW COOL WOULD IT FEEL FOR HIM TO GET A SEXY PHONE CALL AT WORK? WHAT ABOUT A GRAPHIC AND DESCRIPTIVE EMAIL TELLING HIM WHAT YOU WANT TO DO TO HIM WHEN HE GETS HOME? HOW DO YOU THINK HE WOULD FEEL IF YOU SNUCK UP BEHIND HIM AND WRAPPED YOUR ARMS AROUND HIS WAIST AND KISSED HIS NECK, OUT OF THE BLUE?
WINK AT HIM ONCE IN A WHILE AND START CALLING HIM "SEXY" AROUND THE HOUSE. PINCH HIS BUTT ONCE IN A WHILE. FLIRT WITH HIM. REMEMBER HE HAS AN EGO...
EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN THE MOOD, PRETEND YOU ARE. YOU MIGHT EVEN GET THAT WAY.
IF YOU ARE IN BED AND HE WANTS IT AND YOU DON'T, TELL HIM TO GO SLOW BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO QUIET THE NOISE (OBLIGATIONS, RESPONSIBILITIES, ETC.) IN YOUR HEAD AND YOU MIGHT TAKE LONGER TO REACT. ASK HIM TO KISS YOU EVERYWHERE AND WHISPER IN YOUR EAR WHAT HE WANTS TO DO TO YOU.
ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT PERCEPTION DOES NOT EQUAL INTENT, AND DON'T BE SO QUICK TO REACT AND FEEL OFFENDED IF SOMETHING HE SAYS COMES OUT WRONG. GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO CLARIFY HIS INTENT. ASK HIM TO DO THE SAME. WALK A MILE IN HIS SHOES AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU SEE, AND GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO SET YOU STRAIGHT. HAVE HIM DO THE SAME.
MOST OF THE TIME LOW SEX DRIVE IS A RESULT OF OTHER ISSUES. PEOPLE ARGUE TOPICS TO AVOID THE REAL ISSUES THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH. BEING RIGHT ALL THE TIME IS HURTFUL TO SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS A LITTLE UNDERSTANDING. EFFORT HAS TO COME FROM BOTH SIDES. BUT IF YOU CAN SHOW EMPATHY FOR EACH OTHER'S EXPERIENCEAND PERCEPTION, YOU CAN RESOLVE ANYTHING.
I AM SURE PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU TO TRY LINGERIE, CANDLES, AND MAYBE SOME PORN. WHATEVER. FOREPLAY STARTS LONG BEFORE THE BEDROOM. BAGGAGE COLLECTS AND WEIGHS DOWN SEX DRIVE.
LET GO OF THE BAGGAGE BEFORE TRYING THE LINGERIE AND CANDLES. GET RID OF THE NOISE FOR A WHILE. START TO ENJOY SEX RATHER THAN WORRY ABOUT IT.
TAKE CARE!
2006-08-23 16:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-08 04:34:53 · answer #2 · answered by Garry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk and find out what's is interesting you guys.
Pornmovies?, Toys different positions?
Also don't act like you do your husband a favor when having seks, if so, he will be looking for seks outside.
Have intercourse with love on a regular basis even if you don't feel like it.
Men can get stressed out if they stay wiyhout seks for months or years.
Some men can even become agressive towards people.
Do your marital duties. When you were infront of the altar you said "YES" I, DO..... For a reason or not??
Look for answer on a higher professional level. There are a lot of products out there to increase seks drive.
Just show more interest.
2006-08-23 16:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Dogla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, fake it! It will come back and don't punish your husband by making him feel not wanted. Hold hands and talk, take the kids for walks together and do nice things for him. Cook his favorite meal and give each other massages. It is probably hormonal or being tired. I am not always in the mood for sex but I am always in the mood to make my husband feel loved. Sometimes also you may not start in the mood but he gets you there. He needs to know that he rocks your world and pleasing him rocks yours. Good luck!
p.s. Happily married for almost 25 years.
2006-08-23 16:50:03 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you need to tell your husband not to worry, because you just had a baby 11 months ago. it will come back before you know it if you need someone to talk to I'll be very glad to talk to you. maybe you need someone that will talk dirty to you just to get you started & I;m your man for that. I;m bad boy rebels @ yahoo.com or at yahoo messager. I'm waiting to help you anyway I can.
2006-08-23 16:15:59 · answer #5 · answered by Delanne S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to spend quality time with your husband by watching good romantic movies, talk about your love times with him. Hug him and share your warmness in bed. then you will get a mood to have sex. Do it very slowly till you reach your / his orgasm. Good Luck. it is quite common problem you can over come easily.
2006-08-23 16:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by sanam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find out, let me know so I can tell the mother of my two youngest kids.. She has lost hers too. It is a real aggravation sometimes.
2006-08-23 15:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by tman137 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up to your doctor. Try caressing and cuddling w/ out having to finish up with sex. Your husband has to be very patient, but knowing that he loves you and is willing to wait might help you want to please him. Just don't forget about your own enjoyment, it's about both of you enjoying each other. I'd talk to the doctor first.
2006-08-23 16:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Melisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eat a balanced diet and get back on the driver's seat to buzz off.
2006-08-23 16:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by No Saint 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get on the pill. the hormones (estrogen and progesterone) will not only keep your cycle on a regular 28 day period, but also stabilize your sex drive. talk to your gyno about wich one, because some of them will cause dryness, and lack of natural lubrigation (i think thats the high estrogen ones)
2006-08-23 15:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋