everytime my husband and i get in a fight he says i'm acting like my mom?

Question

He calls me her name and it really bothers me. I'm preg. and sometimes moody and he's been calling me her name just about our whole marriage. We been married 5 yrs. Everytime I get in an argument with him he tells me to shut up talking to him and your acting just like ur mom. How can I get him to stop before it ruins our marriage.

Answer 1

Well, I know that you should stop being on the defensive when he does that. If you lecture him back, he will call you names again. You really need to let him know how you feel, and let him know how it hurts you. Try using something like this: "Honey, It really hurts my feelings when I am called my mother's name. I don't mean to be like her. It makes me feel like I am "insert feeling here" when I get called by her name. May you please not do it anymore? Maybe we can work together on this."
Something like that, but you really know how your feeling, not me! See if you two can't work on it together. Good luck with everything.

Answer 2

Tell him that your mother would be so proud to hear that he speaks so highly of her. That will not only shut him up, but will make him think twice before calling you that again. I'm not one that does the tit for tat thing, but I've been in those hormone raging moods while pregnant too and I completely understand your frustration. Just remember, instead of getting mad when he says it, either say what I told you, or simply say thank you, I always wanted to be like my mother. Ya can't lose and he'll move on to something else.

If you aren't into being nice about this, then the next time he says it, say "I wouldn't have to act like my mom if I wasn't living with such a child...I thought I married a man". That one will definately stick in his crawl.

Answer 3

Yeeouch! He tells you to shut up??

This man is not treating you like you deserve to be treated, and is somewhere between just plain asshole and verbal abuse. And especially with you pregnant... how dare he?

What you need to do is this: Sit him down and calmly explain to him exactly how this makes you feel. Tell him in calm, even tones that you're not going to have this happen anymore, and that if he starts that from here on out, you're going to walk out of the room, and then you two can continue your conversation later once he's cooled down. (One thing: if he tries to block your way out of the room, go see someone about him. Get professional advice, because that is a very telling, scary behavior.) Stick with it once you've had that conversation, and just make sure you try to keep a cool head about it when it's happening. Just look at him calmly, and quietly say "Honey, I love you, but this argument is going too far. I'm going to go into the other room/away for a minute, and we can discuss this further once we've both calmed down."

*hug* Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

I had a similar situation. But it was my step-mom. SO wrong, i know. I just had to tell him. u have to stop or we r going to have to talk about our options bc i dont like u calling me that and i cant handle it no more!!!!

Ur pregnant so do not stress out. turn away if need to and ignore him til u cool down (for the sake of ur baby!)

My husband & I have now been married 6 years and have 3 kids.

Good luck and congrats on the baby!

Answer 5

damn.. is he obsessed with ur mom???? hummmmmm maybe u should ask him if he's got the hots for ur mom or something since she's obviously always on his mind during an argument (sarcastic).. and if he thinks u act like ur mom and he doesnt like it, not saying much for him since he married you, and he knew what u were like before hand.. lol.. Tell him, to bad he doesnt act like his dad, cause his dad has more ballz obviously then he does and acts like a REAL man and doesnt need to tell his "wife" to shut up.. hell ur mom obviously has more ballz then ur husband does .lol.. Tell him that ur obviously not acting like your mom cause if u were, ur mom would of walked out on his sorry azz by now lol..

Seriously.. u want him to stop.. then u have to make him stop.. and the best way to do that, is when he says that to u.. go into "ignore mode" dont talk to him, act like he's not even there.. he may last a few hours, but when it starts carrying on into days he'll crack.. and hold to it.. your husband is actting like a child and needs to be treated like one, so mommy heres ur first lesson on being a Mommy.. unfortunately ur husband is the child at the moment but nonetheless.. u punish him.. and stick too it.. u dont give in, u teach him a lesson every time he does it, u respond the same way, firm and that its untolerable.. shut down, fighting is not what u need in ur life right now.. u have a baby on the way, and experts have sad that the baby can hear whats going on around u.. is this really want ur child to listen to is both of u arguing and the baby isnt even born yet??? i doubt it.. and when ur stressed, the baby is stressed.. the baby feels all that ur feeling.. so when he wants to act like an idiot.. put him on ignore.. dont sleep with him, dont talk to him, do ur own thing, act as if he doesnt exsist till he finally gives in and appologizes , but go to another place in ur mind so that u can remain calm.. let him throw his tantrums.. like most children, he will throw a tantrum.. and u job is not to respond, just like with "real children" if u show attention during the tantrum they will just do it over and over again because they got a response..

Good luck Mommy..

Answer 6

It takes two to keep an argument going...ignore him. Your pregnant your hormones are raging, just do what you can to focus on your pregnancy and keeping things as peaceful as possible for the baby.

Shut up is an extremely rude term, tell him to use hush, or shhhh, if he wants you to be quiet.

You are not your mom, you are your own person. It is possible however, to learn behaviors from your mom that you are bringing to the marriage. Did your parents disagree, how did they resolve their issues? Exam that and see what you are bringing into your marriage.

Answer 7

Tell him its a low blow because he's not only insulting you but he's also insulting your mother. Tell him that you simply won't tolerate it and walk away when he starts insulting you this way, telling him that you refuse to carry this any further until he is ready to communicate with you in a mature manner.

You're right, this type of behaviour can cause problems for your relationship in the long run. Discuss this with him when he's in a good mood and not when it's heated.

Good luck.

Answer 8

If he can see this, then you need to realize that you are possibly reminding him of your Mom. Do a self analization and he could be right. You are acting like your Mom. Try to change, because your actions are ruining your marriage.

Answer 9

I have the same problem been w/ 20yr. its a guy thing cause they know we hate it and it drives us crazy!!! I have started sayin I am and proud of it dont like that idea but it drives him crazy, he dont say it as often now but still does sometimes, ya gotta start not lettin it bother ya and dont let em win!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

well he should understand dat ur pregnant n dat u do becum moody sumtimes. n acting like a mom is wat makes u responsable. u could sit down and talk to him bout dis b4 it gets serious. tell him ur just tryin to save ur marriage.