how do you know what do you really want in a relationship/marriage? trial and error?

Question

Is there a better way to figure it out without getting hurt?
What do you want?

Answer 1

If you are even questioning that, then you probably aren't.
I would say a realtionship takes, being unselfish, committed, open to communication, genuine compassion and the ability to deal with compromise. Marriage is even harder. You will know in your heart when someone can truly bring those things out of you, that you are willing to open your heart and mind to being in a committed and loving relationship. There is no way to prevent heartache, what a great world that would be if we got guarantees! It is about following your heart but keeping your brain in check as well. There are no guarantees.

Answer 2

Experience is the best teacher. So yes, through trial and error. Is there a better way to figure it out without getting hurt? If you didn't kiss a few frogs along the way or experience some disappointments along the way, you wouldn't know what you don't want in a relationship. Trust your gut instincts. And remember, actions speak louder than words.

Answer 3

How do you know what you want out of a relationship or marriage? That question nearly surprises me that it was asked. You shouldn't go into a relationship or marriage wanting anything other than someone to spend your life with. It's that simple. If you are "wanting" then that means you have rules and expectations tied to the relationship or marriage. These types of rules typically can end the relationship or marriage. In other words, down the road as time goes on you could end up in divorce court. So here's the deal. If you want sex out of the relationship then that's not the same thing as wanting the person. if you would dump the person if they were not willing to give you sex then that means you don't love them. If you want money out of the relationship then that means you don't love the person for who they are. If they lost their job or found themselves going bankrupt then you would probably leave. You never go into a relationship or marriage with expectations as they typically end up with people getting hurt and disappointed. It is for this very reason that our divorce rate in the U.S. is so high.

Answer 4

Excellent question!!!!

Now if there are no more questions class is dismissed!

First and foremost know thyself without the masks and disguises.
An individuals repression and unhappiness will poison the 'healthiest' relationship.

Yes life is a trial(with guaranteed death sentence) and will be full of errors, some of the more painful type, but that is the process we have of learning and remembering.

I want to be the best person I can be... now if I could easily do something about it without having to work or serve the needs of so many...

Answer 5

we all want different things in a relationship. it takes a while for you to figure out exactly what you want and what you can deal with. which is better, being alone or with someone that you cant stand within 5 years.

my partner and i were friends for a year before we started seeing each other. both of us were pretty gunshy because we both had some bad relationships. it took him a long time to figure out that he cared more than he thought he did. it took me a long time to trust anybody else. we worked through problems a little at a time. now we have been together so long, that we know that the other isnt going to run out at the first sign of trouble.. make sure that you pick someone that you really like to talk to. if you dont, you arent going to be happy. the sex part isnt going to be passionate forever. his habits most likely are going to drive you nuts. make sure that you arent with your head in the clouds thinking that everything is going to be sweetness and light. its not. the foundation of every good relationship is communication and trust. if you have that, then you will probably have a good relationship.

Answer 6

Some people would say that this is the hardest question to answer .When it comes down to it all you really need to know is how you feel and knowing yourself is also very important . Trial and error only works for suckers and the kids that are too young to know whwt the hell theyare doing. Know yourself , get to know people and don't jump in to a relationship so damn fast . never mind what I want I'm looking out for that as should you .! You only get hurt if you allow it to happen. When you find that right person you'll know.

Answer 7

Well before you get married, things just come naturally, a relationship has to be worked at of course, nothing is easy, but things like, looking at houses for fun and finding out you like the same or differant things. Topics like views of family values come up. After a while, you'll start having new and differant feelings about this person because you either like what new values you have discovered, or now realize they are not right for you. With this you determine what position they could possibly hold in your life.

Answer 8

First you figure out what you yourself want for your future and work towards that. Along the path you've chosen is the best place to find your soulmate. You want to have the same interests so you will do things together. As far as getting hurt a person leaves himself open for that in any type of relationship. You have to learn to grow beyond it.

Answer 9

Make sure that you know what you want. Read everything you can get your hands on. Make lists of your goals. Where do you see yourself in 5,10,20 years? Children? Travel? Money, religion. Talk about all of these issues and truly know what you want for yourself, prior to finding out what you want from a relationship. Then the more things in common, the better. Good Luck

Answer 10

When a woman feels that her marriage is down and trickling cold it is because the Male has found her not so desrieable as he thought. This can be painful after many years of marriage and sometimes short. How is she too know or how is he to know.
If a Man loves you sincerely, he will treat you like his goddess of eves and melt your every way and pamper you and spoil you endlessly. When a Man doesn;t do that to a woman...the sex will fade and the arguments will start.