does my sister and her hubby need to loosen up on their kids?

Question

I think they do and here is why:
The son is 16
The daughter just turned 18
The son still has a bedtime of 8:30, doesn't have his drivers license and either does the daughter, very rarely gets to hang with his friends, can't ride with kids his own age in their cars, can't do ANYTHING wrong or will get punished for a week (if he farts wrong=ANYTHING), tells him he will not suceed in life when he is out of the house, makes him work for their own company and then pays him very little if anything...the list goes on. Not to mention he got depressed and they sent him off to boot camp for 6 months.
They have sent both kids off to alternative homes because they don't know how to discipline them. They treated their daughter the same way, and now that she is 18 they still wont let her smoke in front of them. I have tried telling them how i feel and they think what they do is ok and that they are always right, if you dispute them, they freak out on you. Are they wrong, cause i think so!

Answer 1

Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. I think too many parents aren't tough enough on their kids, but these people seem to have taken this to a major extreme. The kids won't know how to make their way in life...they need to learn to make small mistakes, so they can handle the BIG ones that happen later in life. A kid who gets no practice at facing challenges, will crumble in our big bad world. The potential for all out rebellion is pretty high too. I feel very sorry for them all.

Answer 2

well it's almost a little too late now, but really people grow up under alot worse. so now these kids are going to have the opportunity one day to raise children themselves. then they can make whatever adjustments in parenting philosophy they wish, the important thing now is to not hold a grudge against your parents because of the way you grew up, there is nothing good that can come out of that, just keep looking forward and getting better and better, forgivness never hurts too. in an imperfect world.
It is amazing how quick everyone is to judge the parents when they have heard only one paragraph about them. My Father in Law is in his 50's and goes to bed at 8:30 every night. By choice. I would hardly consider that child abuse, maybe they have a really hard time getting him up in the morning. My sister moved out of the house a month before she turned 18 and is now 21 my Mom still doesn't let her smoke in front of her. and my sister has enough respect for my Mom not to smoke in front of her. I didn't get my DL till I was Married! My Dad made a rule that if you don't have a job and you can't pay for your own insurance, No liscence. Big deal. He wasn't abusive, just creating responsibility!

Answer 3

Parents today are between a rock and a hard place. Look at the statistics about young people and the cause of death. We as parents have about 18 years to prepare our kids for the real world and while I do agree these parents seem kinda harse, the real world can be worse.

In some areas, kids dont fail school, they pass them no matter what and that doesnt teach the kids what the real world has for them. No one fails so, when they hit the real world and it doesnt go their way, teen suicide is way up because of the cold hard reality that the world isnt going to cater to them.

I have a 23 year old son and done my best to raise him right. He has a great job and doing well for himself. Win or lose, its all on him now and dad is always waiting in case he needs advise or help, but whether he makes it or goes bust, is on his shoulders.

If these kids are not troubled kids, then the parents do need to back off and give them some breathing room. The last thing they want is the kids to get of age and turn their backs on mom and dad because of the way they did them as kids

Answer 4

I think they do need to lossen up. My gosh.. Its not right to keep a child in doors. How are they going to learn anything. And the bed time. COME ON.. That's full of ****.. I think if the dang daughter is 18. she can do what the hell she wants. Dang... Its wrong to try to keep any kid under a magnifying glass like that. The daughter needs to get out of that house. She is old enough. They should be easy on them kids. Them kids ain't the in ARMY. lord... Good luck with them...

Answer 5

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Answer 6

i bet hes in trouble for just telling you all this. those parents need to relax a little. i can understand the liscence, and MAYBE drive home with friends (saftey) but not a bed time of 830.

my son is 6, and his bed time is 1030 for crying out loud, lol

Answer 7

They may have regrets, when their kids are grown and gone.Probably now, they are doing the best that they know, to raise their kids, but kids need respect and space, and learn to make decions for themselves,before they get out into the world..

Answer 8

Everyone has their own opinon...and you have yours..you're entitled..but these are their children and one day...the children WON'T be bound by the house rules..etc...and then THEY can tell their parents how they feel..that's too bad that they seem to treat them like they're running a half way house for wayward teens...

Answer 9

you forgot the key word where is the love at for them all they are doing is going to make them when they leave they wont' come back and they may never see thier grandchildren when they have kids what is wrong with your sister and brother in law they need help and if they need to be in jail they are already your nephew needs help haven't they heard of mental cruelty casue that is what the are doing get him some help please good luck

Answer 10

There really isn't anything you can do. It doesn't sound like they're being abused or anything.

Besides, in a couple of years they'll both be out on their own anyway.