There this guy that I have known sence I was 6, or so and well we dated on and off and he ended with this girl and had a baby with her. He didn't love this girl but he wanted to do the right thing, so he stayed with her. He was my bestfriend and we went to both my jr, and sr prom togeather and she got mad that we where even friends. They fought all the time. One night me and my boyfriend at the time got in a fight and he hit me and so I left the house and just walked and I ended up over at his moms house where he lived! He found out what happened and well it wasen't good. I ended up staying with him and his mom awhile b/c I had no where to go. His girlfriend started accusing him of sleeping with me and all kinds of crap. Then one day she told him it was her or me and he picked me then a couple of days later he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I love him so much, but I feel bad b/c of his son! I just want to make sure I'm doing the right thing and not making a mistake!
2006-08-23 14:46:42 · 16 answers · asked by Mallory 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if he is the only one you think about, when you go to sleep and when you wake up. if you compare everyone else to him, if he still makes your heart flutter then nothing else matters, marry him and everything will find a way of working itself out. if you love each other nothing can truely come between you.
2006-08-23 14:49:45 · answer #1 · answered by stetoe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to see his son, she can't keep him from it. Just because they're not living together doesn't mean he can't still be a good daddy. Besides, if the parents don't get along and are only together for the sake of the child, it really does show; children can always tell something's up. So it might have been better off this way, honestly, for all three of them.
As for you, don't feel guilty. Chances are good you didn't do anything; you were just what he needed to make a choice it sounds like he's been thinking about for a while. If it feels right, do it. But if it feels like a mistake, then take it slow. If it's a sure thing, it'll still happen, say, 6 months from now, you know?
2006-08-23 21:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that first of all both of you are very young. Marriage should be forever, and if you are having any doubts at all then I would say wait...don't do it until you're 100% for sure this is who you want to spend your life with. There's also a little boy to think about. Are you willing to take on that responsibility? That's a lot, you know. A child needs a lot of love, patience and understanding. If you marry this guy then you get his family too. The child isn't just going to disappear. Then you have to realize that his ex girlfriend may make it very difficult for the two of you. If she's mad at him enough, she could be vindictive, which will make it very hard on your relationship. So be 100% sure you are willing to take all of that on, cause he comes with it. That's his baggage.
Don't get me wrong, though. It sounds like you two do really love each other. But I want you to be sure you know exactly what you are getting into. Love isn't enough to hold a marriage together if you don't have sacrifice, respect, trust, and faith...in yourself and in each other. What ever you choose to do I wish you both and the baby the very best.
2006-08-23 22:04:29 · answer #3 · answered by Fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may really love him; but dont jump into a marriage so soon. Let things cool off a little with his ex first and get to know his son better. That will help the transition for the child; maybe do it in a year or more. Good Luck in the future!
2006-08-23 21:52:27 · answer #4 · answered by nicci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just go on about my life. It kinda seems like he is taking advantage of the situation you were in. If he wanted you...he would have never let you go for this other female. Alot of guys are NOT gonna sit there and tell a female they dated what another female meant to them. The child's mother will always be in his life cuz of the baby. It will be way more drama in the future and more headaches in the long run. I am guessing you are young so I would just worry about my long term future and happiness. Sorry but it looks like he has his hands full...you don't want head games in the end.
2006-08-23 21:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by one_beyond_beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you love his son as much as you love him? Are you ready to be a step-mom and accept the huge responsibility that comes with it? Remember, you are going to have to deal with this other girl for the rest of your lives. If you were sure you wanted to marry him, you wouldn't be asking for advice because there would be no doubt in your mind. Good Luck to you!
2006-08-23 21:52:58 · answer #6 · answered by Moxie Crimefighter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you say is complety true and you didn't cheat with him, then I would say go for it, follow your heart and pray.
If you are seriously wondering and having second thoughts then you shouldn't go threw with it. But don't make any split decissions based off of all the yahoo answers you get, just get some time to yourself and think about what you want in your future, if he has ended it with his wife then he has made his decision and that shows you where he stands.
good luck
2006-08-23 21:51:38 · answer #7 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do it sister, u may end up broken heart and a few kids, but low bank balance and a lot of tension plus ul be killing the innocense of the little child.he may not like the idea of u 2 getting married.think hard think long!!!!!
2006-08-23 21:52:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would take time to let the child get to know you. Otherwise it sounds like love, sounds like you two have been thinking about this for a while.
2006-08-23 21:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it feels right to you then its right, but if you are second guessing yourself already you might want to take more time to decide if its right before actually getting married!
2006-08-23 21:50:25 · answer #10 · answered by swtsugarbear522 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋