I'll try to keep this short as possible. My friend has a boyfriend that was in a bad accident that resulted in brain injury. She's been going at least once a week, sometimes two days, even the whole week at times to help take care of him, for I think close to 3 years (and it's about 80 miles one-way). His mom and stepdad go everyday except the day(s) my friend goes. Anyway, my friend and the guy fell in love with each other throughout that time. He's not able to walk or talk but he can write and motion, stuff like that, and he asked my friend to marry him. His mom figured things out and didn't like the idea, so since she has power of attorney over him, she fixed things so that my friend nor anyone from her family, a messenger, no one whatsoever can get ahold of him. Anyway, my question is does anyone know of any loophole to where she can go see him whether his mom likes it or not? She's known the guy since they were kids & breaks her heart to think she'll never see him again.
2006-08-23 14:34:23 · 13 answers · asked by Punky Brewster 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Also, please check out these other two questions if you have a chance. Thanks in advance. =)
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvX8wPdnPfUOmXrUUOalqpPsy6IX?qid=20060820103830AAQlj4m
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AmSCfMKGFdrI3ckoe8frpUnsy6IX?qid=20060820104320AAT7V8Y
2006-08-23 14:36:15 · update #1
Thanks for your answers so far. I also should've mentioned that he had the accident a couple months before my friend started helping out with him. So she knew him pretty well before the accident and the guy knows what his feelings are.
Also, he can't write a lot, just a word here and there and at times a few sentences. Some things are hard to make out, so I don't think he'd be able to be the one to make something happen.
An unfortunately, yes his mom is also his guardian.
2006-08-23 15:05:42 · update #2
Unfortunately, if the courts decided that your friend's boyfriend was unable to mentally make decisions for himself and appointed him a guardian, then that is that. Mom has the final say in that.
If she is only the medical power of attorney, then that is a totally different story. Medical power of attorney is a person that is only allowed to make medical decisions for the person they are representing. If mom is overstepping her bounds, I would attempt to contact the guy's case manager or representative and see if there is anything that can be done there.
Unfortunately, your friend also has to understand that someone with a brain injury react to things very differently than they did before their injury. Sexual stimulation is very prevalant for someone with a traumatic brain injury. They will do what it takes to be satisfied because the brain (for some reason) goes on overdrive when it comes to sexual stimulation. So emotions can be confused by the person that has the injury - sexual feelings can be construed as love for someone of the opposite sex. I do not doubt that your friend has genuine feelings for the guy that she has been interacting with for years, but she needs to understand that the feelings that are being returned might be nothing more than the traumatic brain injury.
Brain injuries are very "funny" and not entirely understood. She might want to talk to someone that can educate her about brain injuries. That might help her understand things as well. But until she really understands where mom stands as a guardian or just power of attorney, she will not get further. If your friend feels that the mother is not looking after her son's best interest, but simply just going on her own desires of being the most important person in her son's life, she can contact a lawyer that is an advocate for people with dd and tbi (traumatic brain injuries). Everyone that is appointed a guardian is also appointed an advocate that is a representative strictly for the best interest of the person. This is a disinterested third party that can question the motives of the guardian or the county in the case of the person's interests not being fairly or properly represented. It is a long difficult road to travel, and it is something that is rather hard to prove. But it is an option. But if mom is simply going against your friend's wishes to continue to see the guy, then there is no false representation by the guardian.
Have her contact someone familiar with these sorts of things (a lawyer or a county representative). They might be of some help to her.
2006-08-23 14:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by volleyballchick (cowards block) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would think if he is able to communicate with people that shows that he knows what is going on around him. The purpose of a Power Of Attorney is to make decisions for someone who is no longer able to do so for himself. I think she should talk to an attorney and maybe he can get this figured out for her. Most first visits are free ad she will have a better idea about where to go from here. I wish your friend luck.
2006-08-30 01:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A power of attorney grants another person the power to act on behalf of the maker of the POA. A POA does not grant control over anyone. In other words, the POA does not allow the mother to control the son. So long as the son is legally competent, he can make his own decisions, including the revocation of the POA.
2006-08-23 14:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by eddygordo19 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although it depends on the State, usually a POA doesn't automatically mean a restraining order, which she would have to have to keep you away. If he can have visitors, then she has no control over you seeing him. If there is not active restraining order then, then her POA does not give her that right. Usually the POA only gives power over financial estate and medical care, not the persons love life or friends.
2006-08-30 19:28:40 · answer #4 · answered by nkg0515 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has been going to see him for 3 years then she has got to know someone on the staff that works there. Make a call to them and explain the situation, ask if they would let him know the situation why she hasn't been there. It would be up to him to contact a social worker there to arbitrate for him to get emancipated from his mother through legal representation. Most likely if his mother hasn't been forthright with him as to why she has restrained your friend from visiting him he will want to stop her from ruining his chance at happiness. If he has his mental capacity to make his own decisions he should be able to accomplish this.
2006-08-23 14:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by sassywv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your friend talk to the social worker at the institution where her boyfriend is staying. Maybe, he can mediate. But, if the parents are the legal power of atty, there may be nothing the social worker can do. I believe the latter is correct. Unfortunalely. Maybe seek legal counsel.
2006-08-29 15:25:13 · answer #6 · answered by bobbie e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was a defense attorny for 25 years. I think she should go speak to a lawyer. Every state is dif. so nobody can really give you a good answer to that question whithout having legal knowlege in the state you live in.
2006-08-23 14:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by bridget36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really is worth the $ to consult with an attorney in your state.
Perhaps a friend knows of someone, this would be an easy
phone call.
good luck
2006-08-28 11:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've gotta go with the concensus here, she needs to talk with a lawyer in that State to see if there's any way they can be helped.
2006-08-30 08:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by Frank R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
was the injured person aware of his giving power of attorney if mentally incapacitated was he the award of the courts was probate judge involved? was he appointed legal representation in giving his power of attorney, sound to me that this whole thing can be challenged in court
2006-08-29 16:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by aldo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋