weve been together for almost three years we have a child together i love him so much its like hes my other half we have some problems lately hes been very secretive i just found out that he cheated on me i kicked him out but i really want to work things out what should i do how can i go about showing him what he lost
2006-08-23 14:21:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Drop him like a prom dress.
2006-08-23 14:25:01 · answer #1 · answered by Riss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My initial thought is to tell you to drop him like a hot potato, but you have a child together. You need to go into counseling, separately and together. You both have a responsibility that is bigger than just the two of you. Whether you stay together or not, he must support his child. I suspect that you are both very young.
I am sorry to say, that the new accepted way of thinking that you can have a child without commitment to each other, causes many problems and it is always the child who suffers. So whether or not the relationship can be saved depends on the willingness of you BOTH to want to make it work. If he definitely does not want to work things out and to be faithful to you then you must seek the advice of a lawyer at once and make sure that your child is protected and taken care of before anything else.
My thoughts are with you.
2006-08-23 21:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by dddanse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend/father of my daughter for about 2 years. We have been having some hard times lately. Our relationship isn't going too well, we argue more often than not, I feel he's hiding things from me. He never answers his cell phone when I'm in the room and he deletes his incoming/outgoing calls. I love him a lot too, and I think he loves me, but it's gotten so difficult lately to get along. I can't imagine life without him! But I keep telling myself that I should dump him, but where does that leave me and my daughter? He is a great father, and a good man when he wants to be, I just feel like he's bored with me or something. I really don't have an answer to your question. Does he want to work things out too? Is he going to be like my BF and say he will change and change for a couple of days then go back to his old ways? If so, honey, we are hurting ourselves more than we deserve. We deserve better than this. I can't tell you how to make him see what he lost. Here's what I would do, I guess. Don't call him, let him call you. When you talk to him, don't be secretive but don't explain your whole day in detail to him either. Don't call him and beg him to come back, don't call just to say you love him. Let him come back to you. He's the one who's done wrong and he needs to make it right. Let him call you and wonder when you don't call if you're having fun without him. I think eventually, he will miss you alot and want to work things out. Also, don't have sex with him while he is out of the house! If you give him sex while you guys are "broken up" then he will think he can cheat on you, you'll kick him out, but he can still have sex with you whenever he wants. All in all, dear, I don't know what to say. I hope everything works out for you and your family! muah!
2006-08-23 21:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by Gypsy Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you "really want to work things out." You said that you just found out that he cheated. You don't give any details such as does he really want to work things out? And how long has the cheating been going on, or how did you find out he was cheating?
I would take a break from him and give yourself some time to digest all of what's happened and if you really want to stick it out with this guy or not. He needs to be away from you for awhile to realize what he's missing...or not. Good luck.
2006-08-23 21:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only he can see for himself what he has lost. A bit of separation is a good thing in these times as distance either makes the heart grow fonder, or wander. Time will tell you which way his heart is going.
I would not let him back into your life easily. You need clearly defined boundaries and a willingness on his part to express his commitment to you.
In the least if you are both willing to try I would find a good relationship counselor.
2006-08-23 21:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Love of Truth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to show a cheater ANYTHING. Has to realize it himself.As far as staying with him because of your child,how can you be a good mother when you're being tortured mentally and emotionally?I know single parenting get a bad rep, but ALOT of children grow up to be responsible,productive citizens.Believe it.I've been on both ends of what you're going through now.
2006-08-23 21:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by ladyt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you want is the "ideal" him, what you get is the "real" him, someone who lies, cheats and makes you feel terrible. Focus on reality, then concentrate on your child, that's your responsibility now and will be for the next 15 years.
2006-08-23 21:25:54 · answer #7 · answered by st pete rn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go and move on. He cheated once he will again because he knows you are going to allow it. How do you know he has cheated before and not got caught?
Live your life for you and your kid not him!
2006-08-23 21:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not married is it cheating?
I think no one has made a committment here you need to think about that and why you risk your children and family without marriage
If you cant have it with him you need to search for someone who will love you and give you a safe family environment for yourself and children
Good Luck to You and God Bless!!
2006-08-23 21:31:57 · answer #9 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
work it out for the kids sake.
2006-08-23 21:23:10 · answer #10 · answered by rogue chedder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋