My best friend is getting married in 6 weeks. I had fully intended to attend because she's my best friend and I love her, and also she made me the maid of honor. However, lots of things have come up and I am finacially unable to go because she's 600 miles away. How can I explain to her I cannot attend becaue of this?
2006-08-23 14:06:05 · 26 answers · asked by muslimah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Just level with her. I know it's tough to do that, especially when it might hurt her, but that's all you can do - tell her what's going on.
Who knows? If it means enough to her, maybe she could find some room in her budget to help you with the plane ticket. You never know!
Make sure you stress that, no matter what happens, that you love her dearly and you wish her nothing but the best. And if you can't go, you want some random, little-known relative weighed down with a videocamera so that you don't miss a thing.
If she reacts really negatively to this, just remember: she is in the middle of A Wedding. Weddings take over your entire life. The smallest thing becomes of mammoth importance ("Oh my God! These jordan almonds are supposed to be ballet slipper pink, not blush! IT'S ALL RUINED!"), and even the most level-headed women can get sucked into it. (I say this from experience.) So if she freaks out on you, remember that her mind may not be terribly clear at the moment and give her space and time. She'll come back around.
2006-08-23 14:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her the truth, you are finacially unable to pay your expenses for the trip to and from the wedding. If you don't have the money you don't. She should understand, if not then she wasn't a good best friend. She can still have time to ask a sister or cousin or another friend who can pay their way. Tell her now, if you wait until the last week she will hate you and you will lose her friendship. To wait when you know now is just plain rude and selfish.
2006-08-23 14:10:57 · answer #2 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be upfront and tell her that you love her to pieces but you can't afford what this is costing you and so you have to respectfully decline because you simply can't come up with the money to attend.
Are you sure you can't make the effort and be part of her wedding? It probably means the world to her. But if you can't tell her.
If she wants you bad enough she will pay your way. If not, then I guess you can say this friendship is probably over.
If it was me I would do whatever it took to attend as it's a very special privilege and honour for someone to make you their maid of honour. I know I wouldn't feel the same towards that person...your best friends wedding...we've moved mountains to attend our friends weddings at times we couldn't even afford to put food on the table. We just went into debt because friends mean more than money to us.
2006-08-23 14:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by EVE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the suitable ingredient you're able to do is tell her which you think of that neither her or you are going to be IN one yet another's the bridal occasion. it particularly is nice while you're the two basically basically travellers at one yet another's wedding ceremony. That way you could plan your wedding ceremony and he or she can plan hers devoid of you adult men discussing wedding ceremony plans with one yet another. Being a focused visitor isn't an insult, it basically makes extra experience which you don't be interior the bridal occasion for the reason that your weddings are so close. additionally, you could basically make it a weekend ingredient for the reason which you is basically no longer predicted at one yet another's practice consultation dinner and make-up/prep the day of the marriage. recommend it to her and notice what she thinks. in case you adult men can not stay with watching one yet another get married, then in keeping with risk you may think again your friendship.
2016-09-29 22:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best friend should understand. Just tell her you can't afford it.
But this is a monumental moment in her life and it would be a huge shame for you not to attend. If she is your best friend, why aren't you the Maid of Honor?
2006-08-23 14:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually part of her cost is to pay for you to attend the wedding if it involves travel. She is supposed to pay for your transportation, your hotel. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law both had to pay for their attendants to be present. Now if you are financially unable to do so, let her know that this is causing you a strain on your budget and that while you are honored by her offer to be maid of honor, you cannot fulfill this role and wish her good luck.
2006-08-23 14:12:22 · answer #6 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly like you did here. "Hon, it will kill me to miss your wedding but you wouldn't believe my financial issues right now. I'm afraid I just dont' have the funds to be there after all..." she will be disappointed of course, and she may want you there enough to pay your way (you never know) but a true friend will understand. offer her any help you can do from home and send her a nice gift and a promise to get together with her as soon as possible... and tell her how much you love her!
2006-08-23 14:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by mishel24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just be honest. She'll probably be very disappointed, but she may want to help out with the costs... it's probably important to her that you attend... she asked you to be her maid of honor so you are clearly important to her.
Be honest and see if you can work out a plan with her. Remember, she wants you there as badly as you want to be there.
2006-08-23 14:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by lily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain the situation and be as honest as possible, maybe you guys can work something out and she can help you financially. I would try really hard to get to that wedding if I were you, she is your best friend. Good Luck.
2006-08-23 14:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by ♥HeidiJustine♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her immediately and tell her honestly that you cannot afford to come, and you are sorry. She will appreciate having time to find another Maid of Honor!
2006-08-23 14:08:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋