I am married and I am in love with someone else what should i do about it.?

Question

I am married and so is he we have been messing around for 7 years what should i do about it ?

Answer 1

There are many things you did NOT say. Do you have children with your current husband? Do you love your husband? Do you love the other guy? Its obvious to me that you have guilt from the situation. You could tell your husband about the other guy, but then he will want to file for a divorce. If you truly want to be with the other guy, then you need to get your head and heart right with God. I think if you continue this, you will always be miserable and never forgive yourself. Its a tough call to make, but it is YOU who has the control and the power to make things right.

Answer 2

Well. I had the same feelings. I liked a married man, and I am married (practically) and I know that he liked me. I stayed away from him even though I loved the way he made me feel. Except we just talked and flirted, no touching, no kissing, no messing around. It was an innocent crush. What I am trying to get at here is that you want this other man because there is something missing in your relationship that you find in this other man, you were wounded as a child so you psychologically are doing this even though you know it is wrong. Obviously you have to work on your self esteem and heal yourself. You need to be honest with your husband and with yourself about what has been going on. If he really loves you and is willing to work this out then you have something. But make sure that you are honest with yourself. The married man has to do the same thing. If you both want to be together then that is something that you have to talk about and end your relationships with the other people you are with, but it is definitely going to be complicated.

Answer 3

Hazel-Green,
First, this gentlemen is not the first person that you have chosen to have an affair with. You have chosen not to give up the affair because; This person gives you the completeness that you have long since desired since you were a child. One of the hardest things that you face everyday is how to be loved. Your spouse makes you feel needed and in the bed makes you feel weak. You like to have some kind of control, and this is your way of being in control. At the same time, it seems that you get sexual gratification by sneaking around to get your arousal going. Al-most like a game. What should you do? You all-ready know the answer to that. There are alot of circumstances surrounding your situation and you need to sit down by yourself and decide what is the best course of action to resolve this.Feel free to get ahold of me and we can talk in more depth, but YOU and ONLY YOU can change this. Would I tell my husband right now? NO! Wait until you get a grip on things before you go and try to explain what is going on and why.
Until...

Answer 4

There is no reason, good or bad, for messing around with anyone while married. You need to end your marriage. If your in love as you say maybe he'll end his and the 2 of you can get together as a couple. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 5

I hate cheaters but I won't judge you, I'll just give you some valuable advice.
You need to sit down with your husband and tell him about your 7 year affair.
I'm pretty sure he's going to be hurt so try and be as nice and gentle as possible.
You are going to also have to tell the man you are cheating with that he needs to open up and tell his wife... I mean it's been 7 years and neither of you two got caught? You two must be very sneaky... but if you want to be with this other man, you'll have to tell your husband and get things over with.
Honesty was all you needed in the first place.

Answer 6

I would really think about who you truly love and who you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you don't make a decision soon going either way, you may just ruin both relationships. And who knows if the other guy just has you for a side kick and doesn't really see things in the same light as you do. You need to talk to both men and make a decision, it really isn't fair to your husband. Put yourself in his shoes and tell yourself how he will feel if he knows you've been doing this for seven years or just having done it all. IT HURTS!

Answer 7

Forget about it... it will bring you more pain and suffering the longer you continue. You must put this person out of your mind, and body... period.
The long-term ramifications are huge... do you really want to be without your husband? Are you going to be content being a mistress? What spiritual ramifications exist?

The best help you can give yourself, is to take a long walk. Ask yourself if you are ready to sacrifice your real life, for the false hope of a "dream" life.

I hope for your sake that you choose what is
REALLY the best choice. Stay strong!

Answer 8

I think you have went beyond the curiosity stage and into the deceit stage. will it really matter what any of us say, you weren't worried about your husbands opinion for 7 years , how can we matter any more than him to you? personally , I think you are a pretty evil person and wouldn''t advise you one way or the other. I know you don't need me beating you up verbally but I do not condone deceit. no reason is valid enuf to carry on with something like that for 7 years. you can not mend the damage you have done to your marriage. even if he doesn't know about it, the feelings are gone. you can't mend it. .toss in the towel and see if Mr. cheater will have you for a wife, I doubt it. they rarely do. good luck...........

Answer 9

You need to be honest with him and yourself. 7 years is along time of unfaithfulness and selfish for not telling him the first time you did. Sure he is going to be angry but why be in a marriage based on secrets. How would you feel if he did it to you for 7 years and didnt tell you or any secret at that.

Answer 10

Sounds like a huge waste of time for 7 years.