My girlfriend has become a different person?

Question

Help, ever since I moved in with my gf she has become a totaly different person than the one I fell in love with. She used to be strong, independant and thoughtful. Now, she's became this whiney, clingy, pouty, needy, selfish butt head. She doesn't want me to do anything without her, and when I do, she gets all pouty. She has to be within 3 feet of me all the time. Seriously, I tested it out one day, I kept moving away from her and she kept following me. I like my independance and I can't stand it any more, she's driving me crazy! I've tried to talk to her about it be she always just says " I know, I'm sorry" and then gets all moody for the rest of the day. If things don't change, even though I love her, I don't know if I can stick around. Any thoughts on why this personality change would happen or what I can do about it?

I'm not a guy, I'm a girl, hence the name Jenn!!! We are both girls, yes lesbians. Don't assume anything about me based on my avatar, this on fits me bets cause I don't wear dresses and makeup. Geez people, open your minds!!

Answer 1

Jenn,

I think from the way it sounds,she is insecure.Does she accuse you a lot or anything like that? Me and my girlfriend spend a lot of time together,but neither one of us mind.But yeah, you always need time breathe.if she pouts after u talk to her about it then that makes me think maybe she's a little spoiled?She sounds like she always wants attention.Maybe it was not like that at first because it was the beginning.You know how some people act diffrent after u have been together for a while.Maybe she takes u for granted.If you are not happy anymore,then talk to her one more time,without hurting her feelings and let her know that ****,u need some space.it does'nt mean u don't love her.If she can't understand,then maybe she's not the chick u fell in love with.Good Luck chick!

Answer 2

It doesn't mean someone has a close mind if the fact you have MALE AVATAR made them assume you were a MALE! Although I'm pretty sure you would be a same gender couple on the LGBT section of the site.

I think if you head into solving problesm with an attitude like,"We can both change for the better, we both must be doing something wrong for this to have happened." It's not just her fault, and it's not just your fault, placing blame is not needed and doesn't help. Maybe you can see a couple couselar, because it seems like you need a thirid party to help you see what's wrong.

If you want to talk openly you have to prepare yourself to be wrong, maybe just sometime ask her, "I think something is wrong with our relationship, but please don't be afraid or get upset, we should both think of ways to see what we're doing wrong and what we can do to change it"

Answer 3

Sounds like she has some self-esteem issues. I think you will have to have another talk with her. This behavior has probably increased as your feelings for each other became deeper because maybe as previous relationships grew more serious she was not treated well? Re-assure her of your feelings for her, but let her know that she is smothering you and driving you away. Make sure she understands the depth of the problem. If things don't change...she will drive you away. Good luck!

Answer 4

You should talk to my bf about it cos i used to be this clingy sickeningly idiotic girl who can't stand him having fun without me buttt.... i've changed!

I guess you really need to help her find something she can have fun W/O you. Ask her to find her friends, hang out. Afterall, everyone needs their personal space & she'll appreciate if she could like do things HERSELF. Maybe say, think about the times she's gone wrong & everything. Say you're not intending on leaving her but just that this r/s is suffocating you & she needs to change but u'll be there for her during this time & u know it won't take a day for someone to change.. so give her some time (:

Answer 5

Dog I don't know... This has hap pend to me many of times.... And yes it didn't work out because I was too young to work it out... Then one day it happens to me. I was the needy insecure one and I got dumped.... Now I'm in a healthy relationship where I can go do whatever (respectful) I want. SO can she... We both have different friends and can survive 20 steps from each other. (just kiddin) Try to work out the issues, if not move on... But at one point the shoe will be on the other foot.....

Answer 6

Talk to her about what is and isn't working. She may have some things that she's frustrated with that she's afraid to tell you too. You're not just in a relationship-- you're sharing your life too by living together. Maybe that reality is sinking in for her, and she's afraid that she could lose everything now, and not just her relationship if things fall apart. Encourage her to spend some time with some old friends and remember what she loves about being strong, independent and thoughtful-- it may just give her a new perspective on the issue.

Answer 7

Maybe she's feeling insecure--do you look at other women, or has someone been trying to tear y'all apart? Does she have family who strongly object to the relationship? Did she have to make a big sacrifice to move in? (For example, I left Orlando for NYC and didn't have a job for several months; I also moved in right after undergoing internal surgery.) Those things can drive a woman to get clingy. She may also be in a "honeymoon" sort of mood, not understanding that she's turning you off.

You've tried to talk to her. Have you tried getting trusted friends of hers to talk to her? It helped me be less clingy when friends of mine told me they missed the person I used to be before I was "her wife." Also, there is couples' counseling for same-sex couples.

Answer 8

I don't know why her personality is changing. But if you love her; you need to stick with her, whether she's going through a hard time or not. Have you tried to dig down and figure out what's really wrong? Maybe something has happened to her. You need to find it out. It's your responsibility as her friend, her boyfriend, and someone who loves her. Good luck.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Bad move. Get out. Be more perceptive before moving in with another. Love is no joke, not an experiment. Think: this is for keeps. Pick the woman you want to be your life partner, the mother of your children.