I am 24 yrs old Indian girl. I feel sad, depressed and lonely! I was raped when i was 7 yrs old! I am unwanted child of my parents as they themselves told me, that they wanted to abort me but could not as my mom could have died, as it was cesarian section, and it was illegal to abort. They hate me and my dad used to beat me everyday and my mom used to support him, i was not allowed to socialise. My dad and mom sexually abused me and always forced me to suicide but i didnt.My boyfriend raped me with his friend in a car! I did my graduation and doing my M.B.A. Now. i am at present in Canada in Youth Exchange Programme. I really want love, and one guy from U.S.A. is coming to meet me this weekend. He wants to marry me, he knows my past, i met him on matrimonial site. he has a fiancee in India, but he wants to leave her and marry me, as he wants me to be happy!Should i marry him? I feel suicidal and cant talk about my past to anyone except on net! what if he dumps me? I LOVE God! plz help!
2006-08-23 12:40:51 · 23 answers · asked by isha s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First thing, you have a lot of issues that need to be worked on. Therapy is a good start. If you can't handle talking to someone in person, there is online counseling. It sounds to me like you are just looking to be loved and will take it from anyone. Before you are ever able to love someone else and for them to truely love you, you first need to learn how to love yourself. Suicide is not an answer! If the man that you are meeting is already engaged to someone else and coming to meet you, he obviously doesn't respect his fiancee enough to break it off with her before meeting with you. What makes you think that he would not do the same thing to you? My advice? Get into therapy, join a group, hang out with friends and when you least expect it.... the right person will come along. Good luck.
2006-08-23 12:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by findjoanne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have been though ell than me. my dad and mom and sister don't like me at all and Ihave live hard life and I have live in where they beat me up and stuff and I was raped by woman 18 years old when I was 9 years old. and Though it right thing to do.
Got older learn so much. and Now I have to change my life and Make it better and I married to my wife 9 years in oct 2006 and wow 2 kids and 3rd on the way. I am glad i make it change and not think about the past at all. and I have end it my family life my mom sister and dad. it done and over and I have peacefuly life. and Why in world the india knws about your life and now don't want to marry that girl want to married you??? I am so confused about that. That is a big risk how long have you know him? If I were you I don't want to be with him period becasue he knows you too well and he think he nice and caaring but he nto... period and so .... just love to god and god will send you someone that person to love you who you are.
If I wasn't married and I met you and I would understand where you comoing from and what you been though and I make sure that will it work between us to make this work out and how to make yoru life better than thinking about the pass and all that things.
Really you need to think about yourself and take care of yourself first and god too and then after that god will send you rewarding smiling.
Pls, don't try to suicidal and try change your self and make the better generation and just like I did. I hope that you find a friend that really listen and suppport you and if not then here is my email greenbaypackers1920@yahoo.com and if you need a friend and I will do what I can to help you ... you can't do it alone and you need friend to support you and listen ok.. wish you luck. your true friend. ( I am deaf and can't talk)
2006-08-23 12:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think u rethink on ur problem. Because ur boyfried is also engaged with an Indian Girl. If u both really in love and want to get marry then tell him to inform all about u in his family and his fiancee too. Or no body will happy either u or his fiancee & from the both side u will be in the soop. Everyone will tease u only. It could be possible that he will keep u also and he will marry to his present fiancee also, If u r agree for this relation like this then it is ok. It's all depend upon to u. ......But according to me tell him to stay only in one boat don't keep legs on two diffrent boat.
2006-08-24 00:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said an amazing thing in the next to last sentence. You said that you "Love God". That is great. Have you being praying about this? I believe you have. An even bigger question: Have you accepted Jesus as your savior? It is so easy. Just accept the fact the He died as punishment for your sins. Tell Him you want to be forgjven for those sins based ONLY on the fact that he was the sin sacrifice for you. You will instantly be justified. That is it will be "just if I'd" never sinned. Do it now. He has been waiting for this time. Then believe His promise to you, "God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and love, and of a sound mind". Know this also, I am praying with you right now.
2006-08-23 14:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Big Bama Fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for her and attempt to get her to search for suggestion from which includes her mum and dad... through her talking to them provides her more desirable concepts on wether or no longer she needs to save it or maybe adoption she has more desirable concepts now than she will be able to later. Her mum and dad will discover out ultimately basically make positive it really is now to not overdue. And be a sturdy pal and attempt to help/guidance guide her to make the options she needs and by no skill what everybody "needs" her to do because she am has to handle it in a while in existence no remember what she comes to a call... and prefer the girl previously reported her mum and dad will improve to the conception and definite there's a probability they'll loose it even with the undeniable fact that the gained't damage her or the child. So encourage her to make her judgements which will earnings her in the right.
2016-11-27 01:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be sad about the things you are not responsible for. Don't pity yourself either. Forget about the past and think about future life. I am getting a kind of feeling that your own disposition about yourself has made you prone to be abused or taken advantages of by the persons you know. COME OUT OF THIS.
The guy you have mentioned need a good scan. Dont believe anyone without a proper verification. MUST TAKE A LOT OF TIME TO DECIDE.
AND CHEER UP. LEAVE YOUR PAST BEHIND. LIVE LIFE. DISCARD EVERYTHING THAT DOES NOT VALUE YOU OR CONSIDER YOU DEAR.
2006-08-23 19:21:27 · answer #6 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From all that you are saying if this isn't a prank, God is the main direction your life should turn too and let him guide you toward happiness. Get help through professionals for suicidal feelings, and work on your self esteem for your life to be more positive. You have had it rough, but things can get better if you set your mind to it and prayers are answered when they are meant to be.
2006-08-23 12:52:01 · answer #7 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like mspositivethinking said leave it up to God and I think you need to concentrate on yourself right now all you have been threw you probably just want someone to love you I really don't think you need to marry this guy I mean he could really just be playing on your emotions and him knowing your situation could have alot to do with it. Just talk to God and a professional listener and slow down baby you'll headed for disappointment he's not the one for you
2006-08-23 15:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not ready to marry anyone. You didn't mention how long you have known the man from the US?!! You need to get counseling to deal with your past, so you may have a future. You should not get married until you have dealt with your issues and learn to love yourself before you can LOVE anyone else
2006-08-23 12:47:34 · answer #9 · answered by icey_76431 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand u r feelings and my words of wisdom is that better concentrate on u r career goals and build u r self confidence.....There is nothing to feel dejected and suicidal......Death is certainly not a solution.....Try to forget about u r childhood incidents and leave a peaceful life...U will certainly get a lovable person to take care of u and u r feelings
2006-08-23 21:30:11 · answer #10 · answered by Vidyut S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋