How do you not become overwhelmed when helping your child to pick out colleges?

Question

Between all the literature we receive in the mail, and visiting colleges, and writting essays and on and on, it's crazy! Sometimes my daughter starts to feel overwhelmed, and I calm her down- but then I get that way. Do people really live through this?

Answer 1

The best way to cope with this difficult problem is to be organized. The idea is to treat the situation like a business project. Make a specific plan on how to approach this problem and try to be as detailed as possible. Include deadlines if possible.

What this does is breaks the huge problem down into smaller and far more manageable problems. It gives you nice small goals to achieve. If you have a concrete list of things you need to do and work down the list one by one, eventually you'll reach the end.

If you wade into the mess without any direction, you'll drown.

Applying to colleges can be a really stressful experience, and honestly, it's a really, really good growing experience for you and your child. It might be difficult now, but don't give up because it is worth the effort.

Answer 2

I think the mail the college sends out is wack! I think its way better to try to find someone from the college and ask them questions. SOme of the good questions to ask are:
how big or small are the dorms, co-ed restrooms or private, is the city nearby, class size, and most importantly is the major that your daughter wants in that college or is she undecided because it will save her time and $$ to go to a community college and get her general stuff out of the way then she can concetrate on school.

Also, in all honesty are you strict with her? Cuz I know that I went to college far away cuz my parents yanked my chain too damn much... but now I am doing an extra semester at CSUMB because i was undecided for a while...

but like the other people said... let the your daughter decide.

Answer 3

howdy, that sounds rather lots precisely what went on between us and my mom and father whilst we've been given engaged, Dad became into in touch i would not end college, they had to make constructive shall we do it financially etc (i'm only 22 tho). in the top they admire our decision to get married on the top of the 300 and sixty 5 days (i will have yet another 3 hundred and sixty 5 days of learn), is your substantial different working finished time? We sat down with them to describe our reasons for desirous to do it then quite than in a years time, and that they have a coarse thought of our funds etc. the element i think of is powerful approximately nonetheless having to income is that it supplies some continuity in a era the place issues can somewhat substitute in a great way. For us we are going to the two be shifting out and renting at the same time so it is going to likely be a great substitute, yet its advantageous that some issues will nonetheless be the same, quite than be commencing new jobs and stuff besides. desire that facilitates in any respect.

Answer 4

I agree with the folks who are telling you to be organized. Narrow down the choices as much as possible. You need to decide what is absolutely unacceptable to you, as a parent (yes, you get some input and not just on cost) but the biggest decisions need to be hers. She needs to figure out some of the things that she must have or doesn't want (too close to home, too far from home, too many other students, too few other students). Keep in mind that she should pick a school with lots of options if she is at all unsure of her major. The nice thing about the internet is that you can find out just about everything about a school from its website or other websites. Ruthlessly eliminate the schools that don't fit. Don't apply to to many schools and don't visit too many schools.

However, do visit before you decide. My youngest nephew is about to start college. He and his parents narrowed his choices to three or four schools, then visited all of them. He made the final decision based on the visits. You can only be so scientific. It has to feel right, too.

Answer 5

Do what my parents did and don't help at all. I wrote all of my college essays by myself without having anyone read them, and I got accepted to all the colleges to which I applied. My mom went with me for a tour of the University of Michigan, but I went with friends to Grand Valley, Michigan State, and Central Michigan. My mom didn't even know I had finished the application when I told her I was accepted to U of M. Don't be too hard on yourself and tell your daughter to do the same. Unless you are looking at schools that could be a reach, there is really nothing to worry about.

Answer 6

Are you the one going to college? Allow the person that is going to be doing the studying do the choosing. You can make suggestions according to the costs (i.e. state-supported tuition rather private institution). My children always knew where they wanted to attend - their parents' Alma mater! They were raised attending events on the campus in Austin and worked to keep their GPA and test scores on a level that would insure acceptance. Remember, consider your field of study, location in relation to where you might like to begin your career, etc. You only have to do it once - if you do it right the first time!

Answer 7

I had my son research where it was he wanted to go. He had to find out all the information he needed to make a decision and then discuss it with a school counselor. He did a great job and I don't have a headache!

Answer 8

make them do it. Its their choice, not yours. and find some good schools for their intrest and look at those, not every single school that sends you stuff. I got literally hundreds upon hundreds of dif college mail, looking at it all is a waste of time.

Answer 9

Dont wait until the last minute, college starts this week.