Pregnant w/ 2nd child. Husband angry--never wanted.Says I'm ruining his life.Now wants to be on deed of my apt

Question

The apartment was given to me by my mother in the understanding that I would keep it and any children would inherit. My husband says it's the least I can do now to put him on the deed, since I am "forcing" him into the decision to have another child. He says he doesn't want to be the putz in the house, financing my dreams for a family. I've told him I'd put him on the deed but I've changed my mind. Nearly everyone I've talked to is shocked at his behavior. He berates and yells at me nearly every night--how selfish I am for doing this to him. I'm afraid to tell him I don't want him to be on the deed. I thought of offering an alternative--like he could save out some of his money for himself. Please help..Am I right in keeping him off the deed? How do I tell him I've changed my mind about putting him on?

I just want to thank everyone who answered so quickly and wisely. My husband wants to discuss this tomorrow night, and it's really great to have your feedback and support. Seems like the situation touched a nerve. Thanks so much.

Answer 1

sounds like a bad relationship all around. Ideally a married couple SHARE their income and are both on the deeds or lease for any house or apartment. BEING you were giving the apartment YOU DID NOT both work at getting it as a couple IT IS YOURS AND YOUR CHILDREN'S HOME. Mu hubby has a house that we don't live in it's to small I've never ask to be any part of that deed his parents gave him the home. You hubby sounds selfish and mean and not ready to be a dad I would not have his name on something that belongs to you putting his name makes it HALF HIS he could fight you 4 it in a divorce.

Answer 2

I definitely would not put him on the deed. If he didn't want anymore children he should have capped it or had a vasectomy! It shouldn't just be laid in your hands. If he could be so cruel as to want you to end a pregnancy, I don't know how you would even think of putting him on the deed. He needs to grow up! If he was smart he would realize that if anything ever happened to you then he would still end up with the apartment since he will be legal guardian, unless you specified differently. If he's being that cruel to you I would wonder about his motives. Usually men who constantly pick fights for no reason are wanting a way out or an excuse out, but he seems to want some benefits along with it. I would do some investigating and find out if there is any infidelity going on. Then you won't have to worry about telling him he's not on the deed and your attorney will tell him for you, and make sure you get a restraining order as well as supervised visitation.

Answer 3

Oh My!!!!!! Do not put that jerk on the deed! You did not in any way force him into this situation!! You were not alone in that bed when that baby was made!!! He could have put a condom on just as easy as you could have taken a pill, even if you did both, you did not make that baby alone! He is just as liable as you are and for him to act like it is YOUR fault is just wrong. I would tell him until he can marry you and treat you with some respect you will not even consider putting his name on that deed. Tell him when he can grow up and act like a man you will THINK about it. Until then...TUFF!! You mother gave it to YOU and I bet your mother would have a FIT if she knew what was going on. Tell him you do NOT need a man to finance your dreams of having a family because you can do it with, or without him, but he helped get you into this mess, so he will pay you child support. Just take some time before you let him talk you into putting his name on that deed. He needs to treat you with some respect before you give him a piece of your property, and if he had any respect for you at all, none of this would even need to be said. Good luck hun! Stay strong!

Answer 4

Unfortunately, if you acquired the deed after you were married, legally it is already half his. That is the marital law. I suggest you quit claim the deed back over to your mother until you get rid of the deadbeat. You need your head examined to even think about getting knocked up by someone like him. Tell him he would be worth more to you after you file for divorce, since you will have two kids he has to pay for.
Has this asshole ever thought about using a condom so he doesn't have to be forced (haha) into having another kid? You could also tell him that he was born a PUTZ so he doesn't have to worry in that department. I seriously think half you women are distant cousins of the scarecrow in OZ.

Answer 5

if this man is this stupid and treatd you this bad all the time why in the world are you with him. if he doesnt want his children is he going to be good to them? hes not good to you apparently. why dont you get rid of the man and stop living in misery. and if you put his name on the deed your crazy because if you do he can take half of it any time he wants do you want that . that isnt what your parents wanted, dont take the childrens inheritance away from them . you will be fine if this guy leaves and he will have to pay child support even if he doesnt want the children. dont be selfish, get rid of the guy so you can raise your children in a atmosphere where they are wanted and loved. as far as telling him, you can have the police there if you want or people you trust there when you tell him, and then you wont have to be afraid of him. i hope you are not letting him hit you or your other child just to keep him . i dont know all the situation but it sounds like a real bad scene. the very best of luck to you.

Answer 6

you tell him it takes 2 to make the child. at least it did last time i checked maybe he will change his mind once the baby is here. i know this have to be hard on you being preg.and him putting all this on you but he had a part in it to so dont put up with too much of his crap. as far as the deed goes i would tell him you are afraid things arent going to work out since he is angry all the time and you need somemore time to think i wouldnt tell him you already have decided then he will feel left out of that decision as well and it sounds like you already have a mess

Answer 7

Interesting.

Him: What an @ss. Was he forced to have sex with you? Or did you extract his sperm while he was asleep and inseminate yourself?

Him: What an idiot. Since your married, he already owns half that apartment. Why would you need to put his name on the deed? Unless He wants to be a signatory on the property so he can do something with the property behind your back or is afraid you will.

You: He's your husband. That means what's his is yours, and what's yours is his. If you feel uncomfortable with this - why are you married to him in the first place?

Answer 8

Well, first of all why are you ruining his life? You weren't ruining his life when he had sex with you right? Doesn't he know that pregnancy is common in marriage that have sexual intercourse? if he didn't want kids he should had said that at the beginning and should had taken care of himself to not get you pregnant; It takes to tango!!! No, don't put him in the deed it wasn't his property to begin with nor did he work for it, are you paying mortgage on the apt, does he contribute? Well, he has to he lives in the apartment and is the father of your kids whether he likes it or not! Has he told you why he wanst to be in the deed? ask him. You are not forcing him into being a father it just happen, if he didn't want to father another kid he should have taken care of himself (vasectomy) easy as said.

Answer 9

firstly you're not honest. if you dont trust him, then why must you be with him or make babies for him????? i think you dont know what you want?? if you dont trust him, just ask him to fcuk off..

secondly, why must you tell him about the deed, when you dont really trust him??

a man, taking responsibility of the family and or the kids, without a feeling of even having he's own security (even at home). it is as good as a man without a home. I may be wrong, but not every man thou.

it's a good idea, if you ask him to save his own money (i would). but once if i have money, and buy my own house, i will not stay in your house anymore, because i have no name on it.

Honestly, your type of house with you staying in there, it's good to keep it for your own gigolo to service you anytime you want..

I'm sorry if you find my comments offending you. But you must understand the rationality of the whole situation, and not just "HEARSAY" by others.

I do understand that, Your husband may be wrong with such behaviour. but you must understand what trigger's it???
Was he behaving in such a way before having this apartment??
if yes, then ask him to fcuk off and shouldn't make babies for him in the first place..

When a married husband buy a house, do you think that he only put his name for the house he buys? i know some would, but i'm referring to nice married couple, etc..
Usually when a husband buy a house, he will put both husband and wife names on it, because thye trust each other.

I have nothing to say if you are "NOT" a nice married couple...
Then i would agree that you're really SELFISH

Answer 10

Whatever you do, do not put him on that deed! He's only after you for what he can get out of you. Just tell him the apt was given to you by your mother and you promised her you would keep it for the children to inherit. As long as it's paid for by someone other than him then It's not his to begin with.