Should i get a divorce?

Question

WELL I HAVE 3 YRS WITH HIM AND WE HAVE HAD ALOT OF ARGUEMENTS.HE HAS CHEATED ON ME B/C GIRLS HAD CALLED TO HIS NEXTEL AND HE SAID THEY JUST WANTED FOR HIM TO HAVE PROBLEMS WE BOTH HIT EACH OTHER AND I GO CRAZY WHEN I THINK HIS GOING TO LEAVE ME BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE TWO KIDS AND THEY SEE EVERYTHING IN THE PAST 3 DAYS HE DOESNT PAY ATTENTION TO ME NO LOVE NO SEX BUT ONE THING I DONT LIKE ABOUT HIM LIKE HIS THE ONLY ONE WORKING HE THROWS IT IN MY FACE AND HE TAKES AWAY EVERYTHING LIKE THE CAR AND THE CELLPHONE WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Answer 1

Every story have 2 sides and we only hear yours. When you tell us what bad things you contribute to the relationship then l can pass judgment. You may push him away you may drive him to do the things he do so until then you do what you feel is right and stop trying to get everyone on yourside

Answer 2

It sounds like he has no respect for you and I feel it's real scary when your hitting each other. That sort of thing only gets worse, I have been there. It started with hitting and next thing I knew I was in front of his gun.
Try to sit down with him and talk, when the kids are in bed. See if he is agreeable to counseling. I doubt you can do this on your own, it will take the both of you. I would also ask him straight forward if he Love's you? You need to know what you are working with. if anything.

I do think getting a job would be a good thing if you can. Three years together and two Kids? Day care might take all your money. Do you have a relative that could help you by Babysitting? I really think self esteem is important and having a job would help you.

He is treating you like a child, if you anger him, he is punishing you by taking things away. I feel this is childish behavior. I do hope you have a land phone, since I am presuming again, you have the care of the children.

This needs attention now, I wish you luck.

Answer 3

I would divorce him immediately. What is there that is positive in this relationship? My feeling is you feel you can't get anyone else?

One of the most important factors is the kids. I assume they are young. You are making a lifelong impression on them that this is the way Mom and Dad's are. You are making an impression that it is alright to hit people when you are mad. You are making the impression that it is ok to yell at others anytime you are mad.

Then there is the self respect issue. When you grew up, did you envision your life being like this? You know deep down that this will never change right? If you stay with this person, he will hit you again, he will cheat on you again, he will argue with you again, he will not respect you ever.

You need to get out of the house with the kids even if it means the sacrifice of living with a friend or living in a women's shelter. Then you need to get a job and assistance with childcare. It is not easy, but life isn't either. Once you start making money and caring for your children, you will feel so much better about yourself and you will become confident again about yourself.

Then down the road when you don't need anyone to take care of you or provide for you, you can have a true relationship with a person that values you and is equal to you.

Good Luck

Answer 4

What was it about this guy that made you decide to have children with him. What WERE you thinking. You are both immature, and the problem is that now there are two innocent children involved. There is no worse life than a single mom, unless you are a black single mom, he knows that and so do you. There is no easy fix when there are children involved, and you are the victim of betrayal. You future with a nice guy is pretty slim -- most men do not like the idea of raising other men's children, so for affection, you will just be used by other guys -- kids are big baggage in their eyes. (Remember that, and trust me on this one --- at least don't have any more children if you think that will trap a guy --- trapped guys stay about 4 years, that's it, sweetie.)

You two certainly do not have a kind, loving supportive relationship of admiration, respect, passion and trust -- 'cuz sweetie, that's what a marriage ought to be, and you sure don't have it with him, nor does he have it with you. Sounds like you got married too soon, tooooo young, and for sure too immature, and had children too soon -- (kids are not binding, they are divisive, and relationships have to be really strong to survive the trials of raising children.)

Should you two divorce? Unless you both are willing to get into counselling, and make some honest efforts to be LOVING spouses to each other, and loving parents to your children, your arrangement right now is simply one of convenience. As my dad once said, "a divorce is a nice thing if you can afford it." Can you afford one?

Answer 5

I think that you have to have real proof in order for a person like me to leave a spouse and it really creates a problem especially when there are kids involved, but if you know that he has cheated he will cheat again if he didn't take steps to change on his own and you will know that he hasn't changed if he continues to defend himself and his actions and will always be in a defensive mode, although because of past experience that is his first response mechanicism which is to be defensive cause that is all that he knows and along with anger and other known behaviorals and characters. My best suggestion is to go to a preacher or a pastor and get help that way first and seek answers and see if your spouse is willing to go with you

Answer 6

That is your side of the story and even if what he did was messed up, you need to ask him the real reason why he is angry. Sometimes marriages break up because of lack of communication. Talk to him without starting an argument and screaming at each other. Also get counseling. That helps too. Finally, before you decide to stay or leave, make sure you love him.

Answer 7

If you are unhappy divorce him. I think that it is a better idea to get a lawer and divorce him. He sounds like a total jerk anyway. I mean come on a guy who cheats on not one girl but TWO!!! He is a waste of breath honey! Take the divorce cool though, you don't want to get yourself hurt! Good Luck!

Answer 8

Get the divorce honey you are hurting those kids. They do not need to see you hitting your husband and they do not need to see your husband hitting you. This is how abuse goes from one generation to the next. Get out now and go get some counseling for you and your temper and them get counseling for your children so they do grow up and become abusers or think that they should take abuse. Take care

Answer 9

Marriage counseling if you both agree or then a separation. You both need to consider the children before divorcing. Children's feelings are normally not considered. Before the kids I would tell you to do what you want. Now there are children involved and your life is not your own anymore.

Answer 10

I'd like to say no don't divorce him but hey, this guy is not worth you been worried bout, he;s an asss yeah you should divorce him, that'll be better for your kids rather have them see you guys fighting, do it for them, their dad is a bad influence on them and well you should argue that when you divorce him, take care, w/b if you need any help!!!!