I posted a question quite similar to this this morening, but left out too many details (as i was very sleepy) for people to give me a real understanding opinion so here goes......
My boyfriend of 4 months proposed to me last night via the internet!! Ive known him for about 5 years and have been in love with him since i met him, he says the same. Well I was alittle concerened by the fact that he did it over the internet and right after we had a HUGE fight, what he did was, he went to one of those make-your-own-banner sites and made it to say, alisha, i love you and will you marry me? he sent the code to me and told me to put it on my myspace site to see what it said. the first thing I asked him was "Are you serious" and he said "yeah if i wasnt serious, I wouldnt have typed it" I was just thinking, "you know,if you really were serious you would have asked me in person or at least over the phone" ya know? but I do understand that this IS my boyfriend and he really does things in, not
2006-08-23 11:34:28 · 12 answers · asked by Alisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
a weird, but DIFFERENT way. you know? so i was just wondering on some opinions, do you think hes "for real" or not...its hard to say so b/c i think the reason he asked me over the internet was becasue i just recently moved about 4 hours away from him to college...so its kinda hard to see each other face to face...thanx bye
2006-08-23 11:35:57 · update #1
I see a trailer park in your future if you marry this gem.
2006-08-23 11:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by BadAdvice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly, it sounds to me like he may have been hiding behind the internet. Like obviously it's a very nerve wracking thing and he was scared. But it also could just be that he wanted something unique for you, not just your everyday. But I also wonder...do you guy communicate a lot through the internet as of late? That could also be why.
But I'm a big fan of listening to my gut. And if you're doubting it, then that's your gut trying to tell you something. Maybe wait and see?
But the person who said most women dream about their proposals and marriages? Is right. My husband's proposal was--I kid you not--"You know, if we get married, we can get free housing until I graduate." I was a might disappointed and I didn't think he was serious either. We've had our problems over the years and there were times when I've wondered...if he really loved me, wouldn't he have put more effort into it? I'm over it now and have learned that it's just part of him, he just doesn't know how to express his feelings at all and that was his way. So I've put it behind me because our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds since then. But I think you have to ask yourself the same questions--20 years down the road, or at every single fight, are you going to be questioning his love for you b/c in the back of your mind you're still wondering?
2006-08-23 18:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couple of things. First, you said you went off to college. What is more important to you right now, marriage and commitment or getting your education and being self sufficient. #2 I can't tell from your story but does he go to college? If not, he might be worried that you won't be committed to him and that is why the bizarre request.
Finally, if you really love this person and he really loves you I would get a real proposal. From what my wife tells me, all women have dreamed about being proposed to, married etc. They have gone over it many times in their head. I am sure your dreams and hopes of being proposed to was not your boyfriend sending an email, text message, IM etc.
In my opinion, I would let him know that you are flattered, you love him and you would like to wait until you are done with your education and then tell him you would like to give him another chance in the future to "ask you again" in person.
2006-08-23 18:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by mrcatphish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be answered in pretty brief fashion. Based on what you've written and you've known him intimately for at least 5 years, and you're aware he does things a bit odd at times, this is something only you can evaluate and decide. No one else has the kind of knowledge of him as you. It's your call. You seek input, but in your situation, input from those who don't know you two as a couple, is very unreliable.
2006-08-23 19:24:12 · answer #4 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you guys ever discussed marriage? if yes, does he have an engagement ring ? I guess I am old fashioned and would prefer to be asked, in person. Go with your gut feeling, you obviously are not really happy about the way he asked. Maybe you should tell him, because if you are going to get married, you don't want to start it off negatively or resenting him because he didn't ask you the way you thought he should ask. I would have a heart to heart. Congrats !! I think.....
2006-08-23 18:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by Bec 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you must think its weird if your asking strangers for their opinion about someone you say you've known for 5 years.
Five years and he's just now getting around to asking you to marry him------over the internet? Ugh.
Real classy!!!
2006-08-23 22:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on how old the guy is... I have always believed the guy has to be mature enough. but it also depends on how the guys personality is too. and over the internet?? I mean I think it is cute a creative but why not face to face??? I think that is one thing that has to be asked face to face.
2006-08-23 19:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by Tex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, real classy guy.
Picture this: You living with him in a trailer home, him on the couch, you in the kitchen, he turns his head not completely away from the game on the tv, leans to one side to rip a fart and calls, "love you honey, could you get me another beer."
2006-08-23 19:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know him alot better than anyone on this board. Do you think he is 'serious?' If you are asking people on here, you must have some doubts.
2006-08-23 18:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan to get married. If he isn't serious, he'll call if off!
Are you serious?
2006-08-23 18:42:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jose R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋