Should I continue with the wedding?

Question

I'm getting married in less than 4 months. My fiance recently said some things about me that were hurtful because they weren't true. My only intention was to be helpful but it was not how he saw things. He said I was evil. He never actually said sorry that he said that I was evil so I think he really meant it. I don't know if I should get married to someone who sees me this way. I just can't believe I've stayed me him for almost a decade. I feel that if I continue with the wedding, I'm headed for a failed marriage. I know time heals all wounds, but is this something I should look pass? I'm afraid of my future with him. Please help.

Answer 1

wow this is a tough situation

well.............
if there is anyway u can post pone the wedding that would be great cuz that would give u time to talk over the situation wit him at ur own relaxed pace

if u cant..............

talk to him as soon as possible
sit him down and tell him how u feel about talkin to u like that, and say u wanna talk about it and u dont wants sumthin like this to continue on to ur marriage with him, when u talk to him about this he should not get a bad attitude at all cuz this is a very serious matter and determines ur future, if he really wants to marry u and have a succesfull happy marriage with u he will be willing to work this out with u

if he does not cooperate postpone the wedding or just forget about it all together

also, for as long as u have known him does he always act like this towards u or others?
if he does then marrying him would be a risk, cuz then u will have to deal with this, and it wont be "healthy" for u
even if he acts like this towards other people, most likely the attitude will start to turn to u and he'll be treatin u bad

good luck make the right desicion, its ur future, live it like u want

Answer 2

Well, you can't possibly get married to someone whom you have such poor communication with. You've proven that by communicating with us internet friends rather than going to the source for your answers. You should be talking things over with your fiance. Ask him why he called you evil, and let him know how that made you feel. Explain to him that name calling is never acceptable, and you won't allow him or anyone else to treat you in this way. We treat people how to treat us.If you allow name calling from him now, you can guarantee he will do it again.You didn't explain what it is you did in trying to be helpful, but my guess is you have some explaining to do as well. Talk things over, and if you still have doubts, don't rush the wedding. Take as much time as you need until you can make the right decision for you.My best advice to you is to make a promise to yourself to never hold back on sharing your feelings with your fiance, that way you never develop resentment. If you are mad or hurt about something, lay it all out on the table and clear up the matter right away. There is no room for resentment in a good healthy marriage.

Answer 3

Before you make that big leap into marriage, order this book from Amazon.com called 'Lies At the Alter" that was on Oprah..It asks women lots of hard questions to help you figure out if you are about to make a Big Mistake.

Me personally, I would NOT marry a man who said that about me. That is horrible. He's telling you how he secretly sees you: evil. And he never said Sorry.

I mean, what did you do to make him say that? Did you lie and have someone fired at your job just because you didnt like them or something? Did you sleep with a married man? What?...Well, if what you did truly Was evil, then maybe he has a point and you need to check yourself. But even still--he seems to not really respect you that much.
Peace

Answer 4

If you feel like you are headed for a failed marriage, save yourself some time and money now by calling off the wedding.

You shouldn't be marrying someone if you feel like this. This isn't just a small doubt, your afraid of your future, not good.

Don't worry, you will do just fine on your own. You don't need a man.

Answer 5

I think you should tell him how you feel and see where it goes from there. If he does indeed find you evil etc. and will not listen to your side of the story and is adamant about his side. then I would re-think the marriage. Until you talk with him and let your feelings out and hash this all out.. then you wont ever know how he really feels. Start the marriage out right (if there is one) by telling each other how you feel. Just because someone says something to you or about you does not make it true. Stick up for yourself and dont sweep it under the rug. No you should not let this pass.. talk with him.. dont be undermined.

Answer 6

Well if you aren't sure he meant it or not, you apparently arent' talking to him about it! Communication is the #1 reason couples work out or fail!! My advise is to just ask him about it and see what's really going on. More than likely (because he is male) he doesn't have any clue it's even on your mind and he probably doesn't think anything of it. That's the difference between the way men and women are wired. I don't see the point in calling off the wedding until you are both on the same page.

Good luck, and I hope everything is alright!!!

Answer 7

You need pre-marital counseling. Most men think of us women as evil and they still can love us to death. That's just their mind set. He might be getting a little nervous after all this is a big commitment. Talk to him about couple counseling and go from there. This is the time to be having the doubts so you can get help or make some decisions before it's too late.

Answer 8

Hell naw you shouldn't continue with the wedding. Totally give him back his ring and tell him that you are taking your "evil" a** else where. I mean you were only trying to help him out, but if he can't accept or appreciate that then no way in the world is he the man for you. At all. So move on and find someone way better.

Answer 9

Don't get married! If you are seriously having doubts or feeling bad about the relationship, don't get married. You and your fiance need to be in a happy place within yourselves and your relationship when you say, "I do." Try talking and perhaps counseling. Postpone the wedding if need be. Deep down you know what's best. Just don't get married if you are having an doubts; little or big.

Answer 10

communication is the key here. You need sit him down and ask him if that is how he really sees you,but something you said really bothers me. You said you can't belive you've spent the last 10 years with him. Sounds like you're having your own doubts about your relationship,like maybe he has hurt you before,and you're afraid of it happening again.I think you need to do some soul-searching of your own,and see if this is what you really want. !0years is a long time to lose,but if you don't think it will work,don't waste more time .Use your new-found insight to broaden your horizons and find whatever or whoever will make you truly happy.