he can be really sweet but then he can turn on a dime and be hateful to me and the kids, 1 is mine she's 15 and 2 is his both girls 15 and 11. the youngest was having triouble doing homework and i was explaining it and he yelled at her to listen, she wasn't listening to what i was saying but i was repeating it and then he told her to stop and then he said why don't you cry now. another example is whenever the kids don't listen to him he sits them down in the living room and starts talking to them about rules and such but before he is though everything that they did is my fault and he is mad at me. his 15 y/o can be really hateful and smarts off to me and never does what i say without talking back she did this yesterday and he got mad at me and all i did was get a bowl out of the cabinet for her to help her put up the leftovers from supper and she stomped out of the kitchen like i had a disease and wouldn't not come back in there.
2006-08-23 10:03:13 · 10 answers · asked by stormy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we was going to town to get the 2 15 y/o school supplies. He said that he wasn't going to let me go with them. i told him that i was and he would have to deal with it because he wasn't denying me that time with my daughter and i went with them he told me not to talk to him and i said fine and i didn't the whole time but he went and sat in mcdonalds drinking a coke while i helped both of them find their school supplies and when i was checking out i used a self checkout and it scanned 1 item twice and he smarted off about that. he is always telling me that if i don't like it to leave. I love him and the kids but I am at the end of my rope. i can't to him about his problem cause he says that i have the problem and need help. I don't want to leave him but am relly considering it at this point
2006-08-23 10:11:12 · update #1
we was going to town to get the 2 15 y/o school supplies. He said that he wasn't going to let me go with them. i told him that i was and he would have to deal with it because he wasn't denying me that time with my daughter and i went with them he told me not to talk to him and i said fine and i didn't the whole time but he went and sat in mcdonalds drinking a coke while i helped both of them find their school supplies and when i was checking out i used a self checkout and it scanned 1 item twice and he smarted off about that. he is always telling me that if i don't like it to leave. I love him and the kids but I am at the end of my rope. i can't to him about his problem cause he says that i have the problem and need help. I don't want to leave him but am relly considering it at this point when he is like this i really do beleive that i could hate him very easily. what to do?
2006-08-23 10:14:42 · update #2
It's possible that he may have borderline personality disorder. Check out this site to see if any of it resonates with you: http://bpd411.org
Good luck!
2006-08-23 10:07:22 · answer #1 · answered by oaksterdamhippiechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a possibility that your husband has bi-polar disorder with makes his moods change so rapidly. If it's not a medical condition it could just be stress and frustration. Are the two of you on the saem page when it come to family rules and function? I suggest that you talk calmly with your husband about what the problem really is here. Is he frustrated with the way things are going in the house hold? Is he happy at work? There could be a number of things that could be making him angry or frustrated. The most important thing is to ask him about it and be loving and supportive to him. Maybe you will come to an agreement about some things that need to change in your household. Then you can get the entire family together to talk about them or to make some new family rules. It's important for the children to know that you and your husband are a team and that the two of you are on the same page when it comes to raising your family. If the kids know that you are working together with your husband they will not try to manipulate you or think they can go to the other parent when they are not geting thier way. I think it's good that your husband talks to the kids when they misbehave but maybe you need to pull him aside and remind him that they are just children and that they will listen better if he talks to them in a calm and loving manner. When parents start yelling, kids (especially teens) tend to tune out and will also make them resentfull.
2006-08-23 10:17:30 · answer #2 · answered by ms. abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the kids are acting out, because they see you and your husband arguing. the tension spreads out of control til know one is listening. Find yourself a quiet place to gather your thoughts. when one of the kids ask you for help, ask them to give you a minut, go to that quiet place gather yourself, then go to that child professionally and as a mother, always remain calm. remember, your too was a child at one time. The start working on your husband. Get him out of the house. go somewhere quiet, tell him about the things you like about him. Don't tell him about the dislike, if he bring up the dislikes, then calmly find a way to discuss the dislike, at all times, remain calm and be prepared to change the subject to something better and more calming. You can have as many quiet place as you wish. A quiet place is somewhere you can go and not be seen, to gather yourself.
2006-08-23 10:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear sister,
there seems to be a little complex situation in your family.
The only solution for this is , you should be calm and composed during these situations and don't loose your temper. May be a day will come, your husband and his kids will learn patience from you. But be wise and tact full in your words and deeds.
God bless you !!
Dr. Stan
2006-08-23 10:09:24 · answer #4 · answered by icemaiden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey this guy is wacked out and he has obviously contined that on in his child-aren't family dysfuntions grand? seriously it sounds as if youn are correct on your assessment- for your health and wellbeing of you and your child-tell him to get help or get the f=(k out-he's sick hon and obviously trying to recreate the social environment he grew up/around to"solve" it now and you don't deserve that! Get out while you can
2006-08-23 10:11:55 · answer #5 · answered by datchigirl75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to unload on him with both barrels...tell him if he don't straiten up and knock off the shiit that you and your daughter are leaving or he and his 2 brats will be.....
2006-08-23 10:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling! Your marriage is in great danger! If he wont go than you can go without him and learn techniques for dealing with him.
2006-08-23 10:13:00 · answer #7 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get my kid and leave and stop subjecting us both to this. And him and kids can do whatever they want, my kid comes first.
2006-08-23 10:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would recommend that you be careful because it might end up in violence.
2006-08-23 10:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r in serious trouble :( :( Don't know what to say. Sorry :( :(
2006-08-23 10:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋