I've known someone as a really casual friend for about 5 years but I have the same strength feelings for her that I have for really close friends (feel really protective and caring about her and like her loads). I'm a married guy and whilst she is attractive I dont want anything in terms of a relationship with her, just to be able to level with her and tell her how much I value her friendship and am there for her, but I really dont know if she sees me as anything more than a casual 'mate'. I'm really confused by my feelings or what to do....any view or help appreciated! Thanks...
2006-08-23 09:51:47 · 11 answers · asked by Ethereal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Perhaps by telling her how much you value her friendship as you've explained in your question you can also take the opportunity to reiterate that it is nothing more than a plutonic friendship. You can be subtle about this of course and not hurt anyones feelings but all you can do is be honest and as clear as you can. You've been just friends for this long ok so why not just carry on that way. However, if she does see you as more you may have to accept your friendship may have to cool off a bit and she may need to spend some time apart to get over her feelings for you. You need to respect her decision on this one.
2006-08-23 09:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by seaside_girl_03 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well that is a very complicated sitiuation but the quetion u should be asking ur self is r u willing to give up ur realtionship with ur wife to a person that u r or not so sure about. all i kno is , is that love doesnt have a maybe love is a sure thing and if u r not sure about this women dont make a mistake and dont test the waters and cheat on ur wife bcuz of u being un sure but one thing is 4 sure is that if u do love her and she does to. Just remeber the person who loved u first dont hurt someone bcuz of ur needs and if all else fails PraY!!
2006-08-23 10:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, keep your wife involved in the relationship. You could tell her that you really value her friendship, but don't do it unless your wife is there, so that no one (you, the girl or your wife) can possibly take it to mean anything other than what you do mean. I don't think you even should say anything, but if you feel you must, then by all means PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE!!
2006-08-23 09:56:55 · answer #3 · answered by ArielRose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is this....if your married and questioning feelings for someone else you need to think if the one you are married to if the one you really love. I dont think you should be that concerned on how much you care for someone and what they think back if you just want to be friends...these questions you are thinking are one you think about when starting a relationship...you really need to analize your marriage and see if that what you want and be committed
2006-08-23 10:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by DrakeE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are married you need to look at your marriage and how that is? Sometimes this happens but what is more important your wife of a friend? a friend that might not feel the sme. My advice is look at your marriage and try to forget about friend. If your marriage is wrong act but not with another relationship with your friend!
2006-08-23 09:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, 5 years is a long time! No casual relation would last that long time. May be her corrector a little introvert! Don't worry, continue but stop asking for her feelings, it may embarrass her.
2006-08-23 09:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by dnagsarkar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell her something like 'hey we have been friends for a long time and i just wanted to tell u that i view you as a really close friend and i will always be there for you" and then see what she says. if she doesnt view u the same way tell her its alright and u are still there for her
2006-08-23 09:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Beca <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mhm.. you have to think very very very VERY deeply about this..
before deciding to tell her anything think again about your real will to tell her that thing..
and only when you'll be so sure about that, think again if this is the right thing to do.. remember that when you start with speaking about this matters you don't know what the other person is thinking about this.. and you can't imagine what will come after this..and as you're married I want you to be sure before telling her anything..
so good thoughts! :)
2006-08-23 10:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by monica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to talk to her about your feelings and about your situation. if she see you more than a friend, explain her the reason which you can't see her anymore
2006-08-23 10:25:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a little confused- you want to friends- nothing more- she wants to be friends- nothing more. what is the problem? i don't get it.
2006-08-23 09:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋