I want to meet someone else, so I can move on, the marriage was over before it even started. he decided he didn't want to be married anymore. great ay? didn't make it a year. I am really shy, self conscience, and very low self esteem. How do i get over this to move on and start something that should happen.
2006-08-23 09:32:39 · 12 answers · asked by GOOCHER13 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
:(((( iam sorry for you, this must be hard did he clearly say it that he dose not want to B with you, i think you should get a job and get a social life,,IAM SORRY
2006-08-23 09:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by Aloneeyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes time to get over a marriage no matter how long it was. Cant speed it up for you and cant tell you how long it will take. Each one is different so the time to heal is different. You will always have feeling for him but time will help.
Now you. Low self esteem. You need to change that. Take school courses. Find counseling get some help. Your low self esteem is not your doing most likely caused by other factors in your life. Since they were caused they can be fixed. But you need to seek help.
Last as you improve and recover for your loss you will start seeing how great life is. You will later on be so happy that you wont even believe that you were like you are now.
Get better and move on. A new beautiful world awaits you.
2006-08-23 09:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time, but time in itself doesn't fix anything, its what you do with the time that counts. If you spend that time doing nothing but thinking about what was yesterday that is how you will spend your tomorrows. You have to grieve, but give yourself a limit, after that push yourself forward, no matter how much you don't want to, keep busy doing things that make you happy, at first it will serve no real purpose except distracting your brain, but eventually you will find joy in them again.
Take care of yourself physically, make great meals just for you, don't start eating junk just because its just you eating it, read some great books, listen to great music, DANCE (nobody can be sad when they dance) even if its home by yourself, shop, spend time with friends and family, volunteer in your community with people or dogs if you prefer. Do the things you gave up for your relationship. Soon you will find yourself understanding what went wrong and ready to try again. Good luck, be patient with yourself, and remember it will get better!
2006-08-23 09:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst thing you could ever do to get OVER someone is to get UNDER someone else.
Take some time off and learn of accountability. People with low self esteem really aim lower than themselves and tend to get into relationships that spiral themselves downward.
I watched this whole process unfold in my sister's life wherein she was married to an abusive individual, got a divorce and then got immediately involved with someone far worse. After bouts with Methamphetamine, THC, and a host of other drug and alcohol abuse, she finally figured things out.
After 3 years of worsening her own situation, she climbed out of the pit she herself dug. Don't do it to yourself, remember who you are and what you really deserve.
Best of everything.
2006-08-23 10:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rob N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that it was his problem- not yours. From the sound of things you were willing to put in the work to make it work- and he wasn't. To move on: Remember the good things about yourself. The things that make you a person worth getting to know. If you have friends around they can help with this. Remember you must have had something to offer or he wouldn't have wanted to marry you in the first place. Put yourself out there- and have fun!
2006-08-23 09:38:13 · answer #5 · answered by blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on yourself before starting a new relationship, be single for awhile, build up your esteem etc. then when you're comfortable with yourself, go out there and meet that person!
2006-08-23 09:38:34 · answer #6 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get new friends. if your friends are shy then you will always be shy. or you can keep your old friends but make new ones. focus on just making one new friend who is very loud and fun. after couple months of being friends with that person tell them to help you become more outgoing. go do things together. go have fun and be loud and wild. then you will open up. just dont do anything bad. and dont change who you are for anyone. if you like yourself shy then stay that way.
2006-08-23 09:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by All4Christ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know several couples who met through Eharmony. I think for someone who is shy, this would be a really good service to use, since Eharmony matches you with another person. You aren't trying to figure out by yourself who you're compatible with. Sorry about your marriage and good luck for your future.
2006-08-23 09:37:25 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy to rebuild your self esteem - you deserve that
then start socializing with your circle of friends, join a coed sports team, volunteer in your community, take some community ed classes at night, try online dating - GET out there...
2006-08-23 09:46:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your divorce.
Secondly, you must improve your self steem before you even attempt to try again. Being insecure, self concious will guarantte only one thing: heartache.
Good luck
2006-08-23 09:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋