Do you ever get over a divorce?

Question

It has been 18 months. The sadness won't go away.

Answer 1

No, you never fully get over a divorce. In time the pain of it will lessen and you will be able to go on with your life. You will even be able to love again, trust again and get married again.
But you never fully get over it. It is always there in the back of your mind. You will always worry that the same thing might happen again.
You just have to try and remember that not all men/women are the same and you have to really try not judge all others by your ex's behavior.
Use it as a life's learning experience and go on with your life and be happy with yourself and with your life. Except it and go on.

Good luck and may God bless.

Answer 2

It depends. There are some who get over a divorce in a snap of a finger. These are usually the people who instigated the divorce. The one that they divorced are the ones who take a lot longer to recover, primarily because it wasn't their idea and they didn't want it to happen. It's like this. There is the person who punches another person in the arm. Then there is the person who gets hit in the arm. It hurts more for the person getting hit than it does for the one doing the hitting. There are many elements to take into consideration with divorce (that's why people should avoid it at all costs if possible). Did the other person cheat on you, were they abusive, did someone have an affair, did one steal from another, etc. It really all depends on the circumstances and details and each couple handles it differently. But if you want a very honest and generalized answer then here it goes. Most people who go through a divorce never forget about it, they always have it in the back of their mind, their children are impacted by it directly as they want to not make the same mistakes their parents made, and, yes, it hurts. How long will it take to get over? I don't think anyone really gets over a divorce. I think they cope and deal with it.

Answer 3

why are you so sad? Divorce doesn't happen over night. Didn't you sign the papers and agree to the divorce. It's not like there was a death. You know since it's been 18 months maybe it's time now for you too stop looking backwards and start looking forward. All hope is not lost you will find someone else. Try online dating. Just look how many people have already responded to you.

Answer 4

Yes you will get over it. It may take counselling or divorce workshop from a church, but you can do this.
The stages of grief are exactly right. It is a process, and takes a long time.
Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and your ex- and keep moving.
Do things you can't do with a mate--like paint your kitchen purple, hang glide, dressup in clown suits on weekends, visit a nudist colony or a buddhist monastery. Anything where having a partner would be a hindrance.
I promise there is more than one mate for anyone.
You are just free now to find out who you are, by yourself, and prepare for a life with a different, better, more mature and loving new person that you weren't ready for before.
Give yourself a break, hon. Enjoy your freedom. There will be a time when you wish you were alone for a while. Honest.

Answer 5

It goes away..I think how fast depends on the circumstances. Was it you that initiated it ? if it was him and it was a surprise, then yes -- it would probably take longer to get over him.

There are always those lonely times that you will have, mine always happen late at night, when my kids are with him. Things always go through my mind, doubt, confusion, why did this have to happen to me ? etc etc

You just have to look at your circumstances, what was it that caused the divorce in the first place, and then mayeb that will make you feel better to remember there is a reason why it didnt work and why you are better off.

Try to think of life now as exciting ! Its exciting because who knows what is in store for you next. Tommrw, you can meet that new person -- who knows, your whole life can change in an instance....Keep a positive attitude and it will happen and the sadness will go away. Much Luck!

Answer 6

I was over my divorce before I even got a divorce.
Being married for 14 years and realizing it will never
work was sadness altogether. I knew that getting a
divorce would mean getting away from unhappiness
This was the solution. So getting a divorce was one of the
happiest moments in my life. I'm much happier now than
when I was married. Don't think of the good times, think of
the bad times, this will make you feel better and stronger
that you got a divorce. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Yes, but it has to come from you. You need to put the past behind and move on with your life. Do things that make you happy. I'm not saying that it won't still hurt but you can't let it get you down and don't feel sorry for yourself. I was divorced almost 18 years ago and every now and then I still think about her. I remember her birthday and our anniversary but then I look at what I have now. This person was a part of you and a part of your life. Figure out what it is that you want to learn from this relationship and use it as you move on. Remember one thing, you are worthy of love. Say this to yourself everyday until you believe it. Good Luck!

Answer 8

For sure. Mine was easy. I had a 3 month old daughter. I could not let her see me cry. Plus I did it for her. Her father and I get along well now. She is 8 and I am remarried with a new baby. Spend time with friends, read, see a counselor, write in a journal, take up a hobby. For a while I hated having that word attached to me but I don't really think about it much now.

Trust me I had some rough times with it and felt very degrated by it at times. My new husbands family are traditional Lebanese and weren't initially excited about all of the baggage. But I didn't let it become a trait, it is just another event that happened in my life. I call it my starter marriage. I have no regrets and it just made my checklist a lot easier to figure out.

Good Luck

Answer 9

I have been divorced for almost 9 years.
I am not 'over it' but I am now 'above' it.
By that I mean that although I still feel sad at times about what happened, I can now see the positive aspects of my life that I would never have had if I had continued in that marriage.
I am a better person and have greater understanding of others who are experiencing similar pain. Let this experience do the best it can for you, but don't expect it to happen over night.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear.... Please seek counseling. You need to heal and everyone has different time table for the healing process. Some people feel better (or so it seems) within a year, however, deep inside they are still torn and then they proceed to either pretend things are ok, but live or act in a manner that suggests quite the opposite. Better to take your time seek counseling and truly deal with the host of emotions that this negative experience brings. You are mourning the loss of a relationship that was not just a fly by night affair.

No doubt that your marriage was important and a very vital part of you. Fooling yourself into thinking you should be "feeling better by now" is not realistic. Take your time and don't worry about if other people feel you need to be over it by now. They are not you! Tell them to worry about their own issues.

Praying that in time you'll heal from this painful moment in your life... you will eventually.. TRUST!