My girlfriend has a friend that she is fairly close to, in terms of their friendship, but also in proximity to where we live. This girl not only copies everything that I do, my clothes, hair, etc, she is an annoying third wheel. She calls to get together all the time, and has no boundaries. I get the feeling she wants me out of the picture so that she and my girlfriend can have a long happy life together. I have tried to be honest with this girl, stating that we want along time, or I am taking her out for a special dinner, and then guess who shows up or calls. It's almost disrespectful. How can I get rid of this person from our lives, without having to tell my girlfriend that I hate her friend? It's become now a constant source of annoyance for me. She has never been in a relationship, and I don't feel jealous per say, its more that this person can't understand that she is the ultimate definition of a third wheel. She is intruding on my life and my relationship.
2006-08-23 09:27:16 · 9 answers · asked by ariatc2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I did receive some great feedback to my question, however, this relationship is not new. We have been living together for two years now, and do have plans to move to the next level some time in the near future. The issue with this situation is that it's three women, my partner and I and this other women. My partner and I are in our late twenties and this other person is in her forties. I have spoken to my partner about this, and she says that I should be understanding that this women is lonely and tries to steal my style because she admires me. I think it's weird. We have actually told this friend we are going places and she does show up, so maybe we do have to keep things secret. To give a prime example, we had stated to this friend that we were spending alone time together last night before my partner went on a business trip, and she text msg'd my partner four times... My partner didn't respond, but that is being disrespectful, right?
2006-08-24 01:29:59 · update #1
Maybe your girlfriend is her only friend. Maybe without your knowing, your girlfriend is encouraging her friend in her actions. Sometimes people really can't take a hint. Personally, I would start by trying to figure out things that I like about the friend. Maybe even try to set her up with some of my friends who might be interested in her. When worst comes to worst, be nice but firm and tell your girlfriend that although you think her friend is great, you really would like some alone time with only her on occasion. She should be sensitive enough to speak to her friend. If her friend "over rules" her and shows up where you are anyway, then you keep things a secret until they happen. Good luck!
2006-08-23 09:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by ore2nc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. Just give her a little time to get used to the idea that your girlfriend can be in a relationship and still have time for her friends. Maybe if she spent some time with her friend without you being there her friend would stop interfering on your time. If that does not work, then you need to talk to your girlfriend about this. You don't have to be mean..... just tell her you wish you could spend some alone time with her every now and then,
2006-08-23 09:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by purple rain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not YOUR job to "get rid" of her. Your girlfriend needs to have a chat with her and reset soem boundaries. A lot of girls feel threatened that they will lose their friends because of their new boyfriends. And sometimes girls can feel competitive with a boyfriend of one of their best friends, thinking they should be more important because they have been around longer. these are all signs of insecurity in your girlfriend's friend, and it needs to be handled correctly, or you could really hurt this girl's feelings (and I am sure you don't care) but your girlfriend could lose a good friend forever.
And I hate to tell you - but this good friend will be more important to your girlfriend in the future, because she will still be around. Boyfriends come and go - but best friends are not worth losing over a boyfriend - unless it's leading to marriage, in which case, the three of you can usually work things out. Your scenario, however, makes it sound like you are a bit younger and not interested in marriage. So respect your girlfriend's good friend, and make sure that SHE talks to her and sets some boundaries. This is an important part of growing up for young women - learning how to keep our friends and have boyfriends.
2006-08-23 09:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
actual, what form of buddy does that? If she became right into a real buddy she could have been open and honest with you. you're able to desire to speak to her and enable her comprehend which you do no longer mean to be "the third wheel". somewhat she might desire to comprehend if shes is a robust buddy. enable her comprehend that its ok in the event that they % to stroll on my own on occasion. just to be in enhance with you. communique is so substantial in existence. How long have you ever been going there now? college began Aug 22 right here. consistent with danger you will possibly desire to attempt to make some new acquaintances. That way you're no longer continuously along with her and her boyfriend. i comprehend its greater elementary reported then completed. I want you the suitable of success.
2016-10-02 11:10:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As difficult as it may be, you should talk to your girlfriend about it. Say, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a night alone, just you and I, without (friends name)? Let's keep our plans tonight/next week/whenever a secret from her..." Let her know that you enjoy her company more when her friend is not around. If she does not react well to not having her friend around, it may be time to distance yourself from the situation. Let her know that if her friend will be somewhere, then you won't. Maybe if your girlfriend realizes that you are unhappy, she will try to adjust.
2006-08-23 09:33:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your girlfriend how you feel. Let her know it's hurting her relationship. She might feel the same way and too nice to say anything.
2006-08-23 09:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by taz4x4512 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your gf's friend so its her place to straighten her out. She needs to set the boundaries, not you. You have to tell her how you feel about this situation and let her know what you want, if you don't ask for it she can't give it to you.
2006-08-23 09:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be real with your girlfriend...tell her the truth...maybe talk to your gf's friend in a professional way so no one gets hurt in the process.
2006-08-23 09:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by smurfy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your girlfriend about it.
2006-08-23 09:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by Asia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋