I know I have to forgive my ex for lying, cheating and deceiving me because we have an eight year old son to raise together. And it hurts and I have to let it go and move on. But what about the other woman? Do I have to forgive her? If she and my ex become serious and she becomes a part of my son's life I would never bad mouth her or attempt to interfere. But is it okay to not forgive her? Is it possible? Right now I limit my contact with my ex - I only talk to him about our son and I use email when I can. I do not want anything to do with her - is that possible?
2006-08-23 09:23:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Living well is the best revenge.
Why give them the satisfaction of thinking they matter that much in your life? Why waste all that energy "not forgiving" someone?
Move on with your life. Show them common courtesy, no bitterness.
Find your happiness, enjoy your life, don't give that situation another thought. Make it so when they look at your life, they feel the wanting.
2006-08-23 10:19:39 · answer #1 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it matters whether you forgive or not... it is a matter of being able to let it go and leave the past behind you. What's done is done and you can't change it. The only thing you can do is be the best mom you can be for your son and be civil (you don't have to be sunshine and smiles!LOL) when you have to be around your ex and the other woman if he becomes serious with her. Move on with your life and focus on your happiness.
2006-08-23 10:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by ElEdTeach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's possible to forgive. You probably need time to heal and you should also seek counseling.
It's best that you try to establish a good attitude (not over the top) especially since you have a child. No need for drama, you have a good attitude and in time you'll experience peace by forgiving them both and moving on.
It's a process, so don't rush it, but grow and learn. It's always a good thing to forgive others, because then God will forgive you when ask for forgiveness for making a mistake.
2006-08-23 10:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invariably, your inability or -- in reality -- your REFUSAL to forgive will hurt you and your child. Children are MASSIVE SPONGES -- they pick up on everything that you put off. Remember that 70-90% of communication is NON-Verbal and they pick up on that too. Even when they are a toddler and do not yet get language, they still pick up on your stress, body language, and stress.
I would highly suggest that you immediately take care of those things that you drag behind you in the old relationships. Don't live your life in a past that will forever haunt your future. Anger, pain, and hate will only increase you jadedness, and disdain for the other gender.
Best of everything to you. Get rid of those chains.
2006-08-23 10:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by Rob N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about that bridge until you have to cross it. By forgiving your husband, your heart may be so full of freedom, that you may find that you already have forgiven her, because you are unwilling to give up the freedom and peace you have found in order to hold a grudge.
I have been through this, feel free to email me anytime you need some support.
2006-08-23 12:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say do what makes things more comfortable for you...In forgiving my wife it was by divorce, I'd be to the extreme of abusive if I did not..the other guy..I've not been able to resolve our differences because he left the state prior to me finding out...I won't be as forgiving to him, he was suppose to be a friend...but then again so was she...do what allows you to move on in the most positive way...good luck.
2006-08-23 09:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only is it possible (I have been doing it for 9 years), but it is wise.
No matter what happens in your new ex's new relationship (and it will NOT be perfect), you are gonna get some of the blame. Give your ex and the other woman as little basis for blame as is humanly possible.
2006-08-23 09:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very much possible !!! all depense form you. you dont have to forgive if you dont want to. forgiving is a very very confidental thing. you forgive on those who deserve it. on those who you know wouldnt let you down. i am sure that your son will be hurt a bit but i am also sure that when he will grow up he will most sercantly understand. good luck !!
2006-08-23 10:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to forgive her for your sake but if your child is going to be a part of their lives, then you at least have to do it for your son's sake.
2006-08-23 09:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to forgive either one of them. You just have to tolerate them. That would be the max I could do.
2006-08-23 09:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋