Is it wise for a man and woman to live together if they are not yet married?

Question

I meant 'yet' as in they are having a serious relationship, but they are not commited to marrying each other, at the moment.

Answer 1

Is it wise? NO, but it doesn't mean it won't work.

Answer 2

YES! Wouldn't you like to know ALL their annoying habits before going off and getting married? I lived with my late wife for six years before we got married and it's the best decision I ever made. We broke up once after only a year living together and got back together about ten months later. If we were married at the time think of what would have happened. We would have got divorced, gone through all the proceedings and such and probably would have hated each other. By not being married we were able to just up and leave, make our mistakes, find out we needed each other and come back together. From that point on we were fine living together. You must, must, MUST, get to know the person in every single detail before you get married. I mean every detail. What are they like to sleep beside? What are their showering habits? How do they treat dogs? How are they on a plane? Do they always keep the car full of gas? These are the types of little things that seem insignificant but can ruin a marriage. Be careful, love the person for all that they are before getting married.

Answer 3

It's tough for me to answer this. I always felt that a man and woman should not live together until married, but over the years, I've begun to change my thoughts. I now think it's alright if they do because some couples need that. It's good to know what it's like to live with someone before committing your entire life to them. If you loved them very much and then moved in before getting married and found out that they're much different than you thought or that they annoyed you to the point where you know that you couldn't deal with it forever, then the move was a good thing and you learn from experience. I think it is a good tester. If you can survive and even love living with the person you love, then marry and be happy!

Answer 4

I really don't think it matters. Whether you are married or not, or living together or not... the one thing you learn to do in any serious relationship is COMPROMISE!!!
I think it helps in some situations, yes. I lived with my husband for over four years before getting married. Did it make our choice to marry each other easier? No, it didn't. But what it did do was open my eyes to show me just how much work any committed relationship is, all the time. Do what is best for both of you. Just remember you can't be right all the time, and it takes both of you to keep it working. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think that it is an excellent idea to live together before marriage, as long as the intention of marriage is in the future for the two of you, and you know each other wel to begin with. Not only does this have economic advantages, but also it is crucial to know the person 100%, rather than just seeing them on their best behavior. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and we lived together for an additional 2 years, during which time we got engaged. 7 weeks before the wedding we decided to call it off. Although we remain close friends, living together was the best thing ever, as we were able to see things that just weren't going to work. As someone told me, "there are a lot of people you can love, but very few you can actually marry." Part of the reason the divorce rate is so high is that people jump into marriage without truly knowing the person and only after "I do" do they find that they are not completely compatable. One piece of advice that I would offer is to maintain clear distinctions about personal belongings. Know what is yours and what is his/hers, so that if it doesn't work out, you know how to divide things. Also, although it should be a two-way street of supporting one another, be sure to protect your assets - make sure you maintain your own savings account. Also, don't open a joint banking account. In my case, we parted ways very amicably, as best friends, and there was no arguing over what belonged to whom, but this might not always be the case for people.
Good luck to you!

Answer 6

Yes. My brother and now sister-in-law lived together for 2 years before they even thought about marriage. After 4 years together they are happily married. They were in a serious relationship and ended up getting married. My mom and her current husband were in a serious relationship and lived together before they got married but they didn't think that they were going to get married. Since it worked out like that I would say that it is definately ok.

Answer 7

I think it all depends on the couple. My boyfriend and I currently live together (and have a 2-month-old son). We've both had the marriages from hell and understand that a marriage license can be nothing more than a piece of paper. It doesn't keep anyone from lying or cheating. We opted to live together first. For us, it works but it wasn't "oh well, let's move in together and see if it works." It was more because we wanted to be together and financially it made sense. We'll see if we do actually get married or not. If we don't, that's fine. We don't need a piece of paper to give us permission to love one another.

Answer 8

I think that if people want to co-habit before marriage, I think that would be a good way to go, especially for women.

At this day and agem the divorce rates are SO high. But then, people today don't take relationships as seriously as their grandparents did.

I escpecially think that co-habit is a good option to make sure that a person don't wind up being married to a potentially domestic violence abuser. And the thing is, if things don't work out co-habiting, you are free to go. But, if you're married, then you can't move on until the divorce proceedings are over, which takes some time and it's costly.

Then, there's also the thing where unmarried people are not required to pay taxes together, if one partner's in debt, the other spouse also pays the penalty for their partner being in debt. But unmarried people don't have to suffer for their partner's being in debt. You have your seperate credit score.

Sure, there are some pluses to marriage, like being able to take a sick day to care for your spouse or go to their funeral.

But by co-habiting, you can better see what works for you. Sometimes marriage can kill a relationship because what the law requires of married people.

People who co-habit should decide if they want to be unmarried parents. It's better to have parents who lived together forever unmarried than married parents, but they divorce.

Then, there's the thing that some people cannot divorce because of their religious beliefs, so co-habiting saves them from that.

In the old days, marriage was ideal, and people kept it together until death do them part, but with the way things are, sometimes it is better to not get married.

I had 4 failed co-habit relationships myself, some that included domestic violence. Thank goodness I was not married to them. I don't want the title "Divorcee"!

Answer 9

Yes, I personally think it is a very smart move because after you move in together you will go through a spat...things will be organized differently you both will have your quirks with each other...things you dont like that the other person does....if you can make it through all of that then you should get married....better to find out if you can or cannot live together before the marriage rather than afterwords when there had to be a ton of paperwork filled out and money spent on a wedding you regret........or it would be that much extra money the both of you could save up over time for the wedding of her dreams.....

Answer 10

In my opinion, and from my experiences, I would say that it is very wise to live with your mate before, if ever, the subject of marriage comes up. Doing so, has given me the opportunity to view my mate under every circumstance possible. I've seen all his moods, his attitude in the morning upon waking and just how he is in general. I've gotten to see his habits (good and bad), and the way he treats people. Guys tend to be on their best behavior when courting a woman. They seem respectable for the time that they are with her. But living together affords being able to see him in his TRUE light. This opportunity gave me the chance to evaluate who I was, and if I was compatible enough with him to think of marriage later on. And ladies, if and when you do live with your mate and you see things you don't like, don't think your gonna change his or his behavior later on. Pay attention to the "red flags". If they're there, then maybe you should consider living by yourself instead of going all the way and tying the knot. Just because you live with a guy, doesn't mean he's gonna change just because your there. Use it as a learning tool.

Answer 11

YES!
religious people are going to tell you know, but chances are you've already had sex so ignore them
when you live together, you get used to living with the other person. Just remember back to your college years and how painful it was to share a room. Once you do live together, you realize all the little habits you have to change. For example, women usually leave the toilet seat down, this tends to drive men crazy because they need it up. Also, changes are, you two use different kinds of toothpaste, floss, toilet paper, shampoo... you have to get used to this. In addition, maybe you're used to eating dinner at 8:00 pm whereas she eats at 5:00. when you were dating, you guys compromised but that was permanent. Living together truly prepares you for married life.