When my fiance and I go out somewhere, why is it that he has to stare at other women. I know that men look, that is natural. But why do you have to make is obvious? He will look at other women, look away and have to look right back. He always says that he was making sure that he does not know her. He is supposed to know her by her ***, or her chest? It makes me feel like I am not good enough for him and it really does hurt. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this?
2006-08-23 08:46:22 · 11 answers · asked by Emily 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let it go. My ex did the same thing. I just started looking at men and staring at them. He would get mad and stop looking for the night. Sometimes I would even have him look at the men and I would comment on how hot they were. He stopped looking at woman. I showed him how it felt for him to gawk.
2006-08-23 08:51:31 · answer #1 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say there are two things to deal with separately here: his looking at other women, and your reaction to it.
As far as his looking at other women, it can be extremely difficult to stop. Female bodies are beautiful works of art. But if it's that important to you, start out with the idea that it will be a difficult process, and that he will need your help, and that it will be slow. Then start to do something to get his attention back on you whenever he looks at another girl. Kissing works well for me, but you know him better than I do. Then quietly and discreetly say, "Honey, eyes over here, please."
But obviously you won't be able to do this if you're as jealous as you are. Why does him looking at other women make you feel inadequate? You've got him, they don't. Are you afraid he's thinking of leaving you for them? Maybe you need to work with him on being more secure in your relationship. Do you think he finds them more attractive? Does that really matter? Do you find anyone more attractive than him?
As time goes on, it usually happens less and less, but try to talk to him, and be open to truly honest answers, even if they aren't what you want to hear... be ready to hear that, yes, she is more attractive, but that it doesn't mean he's leaving you, and be ready to really talk about what that means to him. It probably means nothing at all to him.
2006-08-23 16:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start blatantly staring at men and see how he likes it.
I am a man, so I understand and yes, I look. But I'm not a clod about it. I don't stare or do it blatantly in front of my wife. My wife understands and has even pointed out flashy girls I may have missed - jokingly.
If he has no finesse in this, he probably is an oaf in other ways.
2006-08-23 15:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate it when guys stare at every female who passes by, and I wouldn't want to be with someone who did this. Granted, some looking is natural, but gawking -- especially at certain areas -- is unacceptable.
I guess you've spoken with him about it. Be sure you've explained that it's really bothering you and making you feel belittled and insignificant. Better yet -- try it out on him. Be sure to check out the guys who stroll by...
2006-08-23 16:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry there is really nothing you can do, just pretend that it does not bother you that much. I am a guy and I do it without even being concious of doing it at times. It does not mean that he does not like you, it is a natural male instinct. It would be like him telling you not to bathroom sitting down, just wont happen
2006-08-23 15:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Pat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your self esteem in gear here girl. That is basic disrespect, period. How you start out is how you end up. he is playing you for a fool with that explanation, and yiou go for it. When he strats 'working late' and going on frequent out of town 'business trips' waht ridiculous excuses will you accpt then?
2006-08-23 15:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Toxic Buddah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him sitting there. if you've brought it to his attention and he doesnt care how you feel about it, the next time he does it, just get up and walk away. he'll either care, and follow you, or not notice and keep staring and then you'll know he's not worth it.
2006-08-23 15:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by mickey g 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either leave him or try doing the same thing with men. I say leave, you dont deserve this.
2006-08-23 15:54:45 · answer #8 · answered by Stewiesgal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wear somthing skimpy enough that other guys stare at you and see hiw he reacts...
2006-08-23 15:49:35 · answer #9 · answered by George A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all men do it, so either get over it or change sides.
2006-08-23 15:48:22 · answer #10 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋