Advice for dealing with 4 year old fits???

Question

My son is an only child and has me wrapped me around his finger. He has manners, always says please and thank you. He always says " I love you" and "you're in my heart, mama"...sweet stuff like that. He gets spanked very rarely (like when he is too rough with the dog...to understand pain) and time outs more often. When the fits start, I try to distract him calmly or try to explaiin to him why he was told "no", etc. For example, I rarely can "do" anything like laundry, have a phone conversation, etc. without him having to be #1 of my attention. He gets impatient. I am a stay at home mom and he is by no means lacking for my attention 99% of the time. Please don't blast me as a bad parent, just give me advice for dealing with his fits to help eliminate them.

Answer 1

One warning then a time out. If he gets out of time out put him back in and don't say a word. Just keep placing him back in time out until he stay put for the entire time. It takes a hell of a lot of patience, but he will know you mean business.

Answer 2

My son will be 4 in a few weeks and I too am a stay at home mom and just to let you know, the tantrums are for attention only. They feel they are not getting any attention while you are on the phone or doing something else so "bad behavior will get me attention" he is thinking than no attention at all. He will get mommy so wound up but hey why not he is getting attetion at that moment. We react to the naughty behavior of course and that is just what they want, it is attetion to them!. Dont deal with it instead ignore him when he is put in time out, take favorite toys and put them in the bad boy bucket for each time he acts out. (ours was an old ice cream pail) . then he can earn it back once you are off phone and he was good. I started putting mine in the naughty corner which is by our front door and he stays there until I am done with what I am doing if he is having a tantrum. I dont give him attetnion at all or talk to him or even look at him or respond back at all when he is in naughty corner or time out. He has backed way off from them as he sees mommy is not giving him attention for that bad behavior. Once he is quiet I give him attention and again explain the rules. It has dropped to maybe 2-4 a month if even that now. It was almost all the time and everyday not long ago . I praise him for when he is on good behavior when I am on phone or doing a chore and that seems to make him feel good and he earns his toy back. Then he wants to do it even more. I hope this helps, and just remember they wont be 4 forever! Oh and you are a great mom!! :)

Answer 3

If he is continuing to have 'fits' it is because they are working for him. When the 'fits' no longer get him what he wants he will look for another way to get what he is after.
It will take some determination (and maybe ear plugs) on your part, but if you stick to your guns and keep letting him know that temper tantrums do NOT work for him they will diminish in a hurry.
Also, you might try involving him in helping you with laundry, etc. Give him responsibility, such as carrying his clean clothes to his own drawers or bringing his dirty ones to the laundry room. He can help unload the dishwasher (mainly the silverware and plastic items) and even push the vaccuum around his own room.
He won't be so demanding of your constant attention if he feels that his time is well spent being 'Mom's BIG helper'.

Answer 4

WOW! i know element of it probable has to do with the actuality you and her mom are no longer at the same time. the different section has to do with the toddler sister. In my abode, we've a 12 and four 365 days old women. the older one gets an innovations-set with the toddler, and she or he's continually stepping into difficulty. i'm attempting rather complicated to get faraway from asserting the toddler is little and lovable and the enormous you could be a function style. possibly she feels there is alot of stress on her to be the sturdy woman and the toddler gets each and all of the attention, whether its detrimental interest. And your 11 365 days old-it appears like that's what she's doing. Are freinds allowed to return over? Is she allowed to pass to chum's abode, Do you or her mom ever get to do issues with in basic terms the 11 365 days old without the 4 365 days old the toddler interior the way. each and every so often they want the guy. while my daughter replaced into born, i felt like the older one replaced into older than what she rather replaced into. actuality is she replaced into in basic terms 7 and now she's 12 yet in a fashion she's nevertheless a sprint toddler. attempt doing issues via your self with in basic terms her. self-discipline the toddler while she does some thing incorrect. Watch television along with her, take her out. If she does not do something incorrect, do no longer deliver it up. Don' be a relentless reminder of ways upset you're in her. She is likewise going during the pre-teen/teen hormonal ingredient. My daughter did from approximately 8-10 and then it jsut stopped.

Answer 5

Okay, I am a 12 year old but i watch Super Nanny a lot to help me with babysitting.

if he acts up, get down to his level and tell him why he is being put in time out, then if you are trying to do something and he keeps bothering, put in a movie or tv show that he likes and he can watch that while you are doing whatever. Tell him that he needs to watch something or play a game so mommy can *do laundry* so that way he can have clean clothes. give him a reason as to why he needs to go and do something else.

Answer 6

I have a four year old too. Let me tell you, whoever said the two's were terrible did NOT have a 4 year old.

Try putting him in Time out for 4 minutes.

I have tried spanking, and time -out but what works for us is taking something away that he likes as punishment. Like I took his t.v out of his room for a night because he threw a fit in the grocery store.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Honey his only 4 mentaly prepare you self for dealing wth this all your life beacuse terrible 2 may star at 2 but continues until they are out of the house. as for the advice some times you just have to ignore the even if it breaks your heart.

Answer 8

Perhaps he needs to get out more - I DO MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY!!

Even though you are at home, he may find a few hours at a day centre enjoyable, and he can start to mix with other children. He will also learn sharing, and how to be part of a group.

Answer 9

If I was in your shoes I'll say love your son until death... More patience for him... Remember it is not easy for him to really express feeling and emotions. Where is your son's father? Is he helping you? I know is difficult but again can you blame your son for wanting all of your attention? No because what he is doing is normal... He love you so much but he can not really express it yet. You are a wonderful mother. Good Luck and God Bless... EFIL

Answer 10

At 4 years old, he can help you with laundry and other chores. Involve him in it and he'll be able to learn useful skills and you can get things done.

Doing laundry is a great way to learn math skills! Sorting colors, matching socks one to one, etc. are all basic math skills!

Let him help dust or Swiffer the floor.