how do I gain self awareness?

Question

I am lost, I THOUGHT i HAD EVERYTHING ALL TOGETHER. i RE-MARRIED MY HUSBAND. wE ARE 3 MONTHS INTO IT, WE HAVE A DAUGHTER, BUT I THINK Ii DIDIT FOR HER. i NEVER LIVED ON MY OWN, OR COMPLETED MY EDUCATION. i DON' THINK I EVER GAINED MY SELF. CAN I DO THIS AND STAY MARRIED , EVEN IF I JUST LOVE MY HUSBAND AS A BEST FRIEND I AM LOST, WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

Answer 1

First hit the 'caps lock' key!

Then get yourself back to school. If you have finished high school, then go to a two year community college. Start with one class at a time. Try an 'easy' class after talking to the school's advisor.

Then, get yourself to a local four year college. It will take time but so what. If you have a man that will support your going to school then go and don't look back. One friend of mine, took 10 years to get everything done. She is now looking at Grad School. More power to her. And same to you.

Along the way take pride in your accomplishments and enjoy your progress.

Answer 2

You are not lost, you are found. It seems to me that you feel as if you have been cheated, or you have cheated youself somehow, by thr choices you have made and the consequences of those choices you are currently living with.
You have a new husband, who is your best friend and chosen life partner. You have a child. Happiness is not about having what you want, but wanting what you have. Happiness is not given to you, it is what you give to yourself. Give yourself permission to do that.
You seem to feel inexperienced at doing this (having never lived on your own or completing your education). What are you waiting for? Are you thinking that someone else should be there to make you happy? If you are, you are sadly mistaken. That is your job. And besides, no one else wants that kind of responsiblilty. Tell me you are NOT that needy.....
You can start "finding" yourself by accpeting challenges. Please don't be afraid to succeed or fail. "Mistakes" are merely ways of showing you what does NOT work, and they do not detract from your worth as a person. In fact, there is wisdom to be gained in making mistakes. You ADD to your worth with newfound wisdom.
Each "problem" or "obstacle is a challenge to 1-improve something, 2-overcome something, and 3-learn something. Look at each challende as an opportunity to discover what DOES work. You can do this by replacing "I can't" with the phrase "I am not willing to". You will begin to realize that we all put our own "Obstacles" in our own path subconsciencely. I think we do this to find out who we are, and what we are made of.
Think about the cliche "90% of our attitude comes from how we handle the 10% of what happens that we have no control over". You have so much "power" that you do not even realize.... You feel "overwhelmed" and "lost" because you are probably afraid to look for it.....
You can find your power by challenging yourself and fulfilling yourself. Master a skill or talent. Take some online courses and certify in something that interests you. Get your hubby to take a class or do an activity with you. (Ballroom dancing, particularly salsa dancing gets both of you engaged in a challenging activity that relies on both of your effort to work together, plus it gives you a timeless, classy, and non age-specific exercise, and an ability you can share with or show off together at weddings and events).
By finding out what things you are capable of, you will feel validated by your own effort. Trust me, this will build you up and empower you. You will realize how much control you have over your own life. You will begin to find your happiness that you can share with your partner.
Another thing that you can do to fulfill yourself and share with your partner is to exercise your empathy. Exercise your ability to see beyond your own perspective. This is essential to a lasting and fulfilling marriage, and your happiness with your life.
We are all right in our own minds, and think we are the smartest, that our priorities should be recognized and considered by others, and our views are correct. We sometimes feel like we are victims of circumstance. This though process is natural self-preservation. We all have levels of narcissism that guides what we do. Some people feel so strongly that their view is correct that they get into wars to attempt to convince others that they are right, and to eliminate the threat of opposing views and to further justify their own view.
What I am saying is a simple concept that you should consider, and a talent you should develop, espeially if you ae married. It is so simple as this: What must my partner be feeling about....thinking about....when I do ..... Fill in the blanks. When you can try to see (walk a mile in someone's shoes) and accpet the perspectives of others, you will gain insight. Everyone's feelings are legitimate, even if you don't agree or understand them.
So instead of sitting there feeling unfulfilled and lost, maybe you could focus your energy in action-based behavior. Do not allow yourself to become self absorbed (what I want, what makes ME comfortable, what I need). Focus on understanding others. Focus on meeting challlenges. Focus on the lessons to be learned, and the wisdom to be gained in every "mistake".
I promise if you do this, not just half-assed try to do this, you will find your won fulfillment and happiness. You will no longer feel lost, but rather found. You will not wonder what is missing because you will realize that the only thing missing is the discovery of your own power.
I hope that my perspective helps you in some way, and you can find something to take away from this....