Is it wrong that I no longer love my son.?

Question

He's 13 and very very bad. He steals, drinks, does drugs, he doens't respect authority, and he's ht me several times. He's even kill the family cat because it pooped in his room. I've tried everything to help him. I've switched him to alternative schools, called the police and had him jailed, sent him to one of those boot camps, and we've been to at least 3000 hours of counseling. I've even tried corporal punishment and nothing works. The last straw was when he punched my infant daughter in the face when she was crying. I screamed at him and told him that I hate him. I simply don't love him anymore. Is that wrong? Would it be wrong for me to just give him up. I can't handle the stress and he's a danger to our physical and mental health. How fast can child services pick him up?

Answer 1

my mommy doesnt love me anymore

im sad

will you be my mommy

Answer 2

My goodness. That has to be terrible for you. I really don't know what to say, he sounds very uncontrollable. I think that maybe you should hand him over to Human services and let him spend a couple of years in a very strict environment with other boys that have the same issues. These places are a last resort in my opinion but this does sound appropriate given your circumstances. There are places for children like him. They are highly secured and the boys are forced to cooperate or they don't earn certain privileges. When they have outbursts and hit then they are placed in a little room where they can't hurt themselves or others. If you consider this as an option I think that in time you will be able to love him again and he will love you and respect you more in the end. God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

Oh my God, I pray the baby is okay and peace and blessings to you! I know that he is your child but has it ever occurred to you to beat him down I mean wear his a$$ out? I would definitely have then been a hard up jerk he wouldn't even be able to pass gas in front of me but then again I was in the military and would treat him as such. I can't tell you anything other than that because that's how my parents raised us. Also, where is his father? I wouldn't say it's okay to not love him anymore because you do, it's just buried under all of the strife he's caused you. What you have to do is love him harder it's called tough love and I do mean just that. He's 13 and I would insist you get him under control before it's too late! Don't give up and lastly do a lot of praying for him and you because no person can do this alone. Remember this you have to be at his side every step of the way and think ahead of him and don't hesitate to pick up something and knock him for a loop. He'll think you have lost it then and just keep at it he'll eventually become tired!!!!!!!1

Answer 4

He's rebellious because he isn't getting the kind of attention he wants. Punishing him is only going to push him harder and harder to screw something else up. Its a pattern. Theres no way anyone wants to tell a stranger his issues, because they know it will come back to you. Cut out the middle man and start really paying attention to your son. He's only 13, its only going to get worse later on if you don't start telling him that you love him instead of hating words like "i hate you" because words like that bring him to hate you too. All of this trouble is just lack of the kind of attention he wants. No boot camp or anything will help. Its you (and the father, if there is one). Sending him away will only be putting the harm to another family, and it may turn out worse.

Try this. Next time he does something wrong like in school... let the school punish him. You don't do anything. All you do is talk with him to why he did it, and maybe, just maybe he'll talk to you. It won't happen instantly, but eventually when he sees that you may actually care about him, maybe he will start talking and you might have an influence on him.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 5

As fast as you want them to.

I don't think it's wrong.
Like you said, he's a danger to your physical and mental health.
You don't ever stay around something that's dangerous like that.

Especially when you have an infant daughter.

That's just insane.

You need to make sure that child services knows his abusive tendencies and everything that you've gone through. Because the family he ends up with needs to know what he's like.

If you've tried everything, child services is the only way to go.

Good luck.
And i'm so sorry.
This must be brutal for you considering he's your son.
But keep your head up. Everything will be okay.

Answer 6

You have an unterminable duty to help your son. There is something going on with him and as his mother you don't have the luxury of giving up on him. When we become mothers, those souls are ours to nurture and to care for until they can do for themselves. My son has ADHD w/ ODD(Oppositional Defiance Disorder). I went through 5 doctors, 12 different medications, thousands of dollars in testing and therapy, 7 daycares, 6 school transfers, 4 special education teachers, school counselors, child services investigations, and to this day I am a regular visitor at the school he goes to. I had to put my baby boy in my room and put locks on the doors at night when we slept to keep my son from him. He has bound him with packing tape at 3 months old, ran water on the floor and thrown an extension cord into it, and tried to smother him with a pillow. Five years later, they are inseparable. He'll demolish anyone who tries to harm his little brother. My son's behavior began at the age of 2. He's 10 now and even though he has his days, he's almost a different child. He's on medication that works, we go to family therapy, and I work extensively with all of his teachers to develop systems for he gets upset so that he doesn't disturb the other kids. It's hard and there were times when I thought he was just possessed by the devil or something. But I love him, he's mine. Who do you think will help him if you don't? Not a day goes by that my kid doesn't tell me what a great mom I am, he knows I'll walk through fire for him and that makes him want to do better. You're not a bad mother. You're tired and scared and frustrated. But you cannot, cannot give up on this soul that you brought into the world. You help him, you love him, you do the best you can and fight for him. If you can't save him, no one will.

Answer 7

Wow! I'm sure you still love him down deep, that bond is too strong. Not to be funny, but have you tried Dr. Phil, or some other show. I think you should apologize for the "I hate you", but tell him how you feel and why you said it as calmly as you can. Maybe try a wilderness type camp. Sounds like he doen't respond to authority. Maybe needs to clean himself up and think for a bit, in a safe but not military type place. As far as immediate help, maybe child services can recommend some temporary places until you find a good therapy program. I'll look around to see if I can find any resources for you. Good luck.

http://www.drphil.com/shows/page/contactdrphil/
http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/outofcontrol.html
http://experts.about.com/q/Counseling-1444/teenage-daugher-control.htm
National Domestic Violence Agency at : 1-800-799-7233

Answer 8

I repeat, do not give up on that child!!! As nuts as he may be right now, he is giving you a severe cry for help!! I have known children like that before, and he will grow up from this. I don't like the fact he is hitting and doing the things he is doing, but he is trying to get your attention for a reason! Please don't say that you don't love your child, cause being young myself, I would be absolutely devastated if I found out my mom and dad hated me or didn't love me! Hang in there, maybe spend more time with him and when he does something bad, reassure him that you love him and try to in force some positive behavior! Good luck Sweety!

Answer 9

I think you should still love him, he is probably a good person who has made bad choices. You need an intervention, you could even go on that show where they help turn people's lives around. Or try this http://www.sagewalk.com/bratcamp Don't give up on him, he's still your son. No matter how bad he is, I'm sure you don't want anything bad to happen to him...and if it does, you would feel guilty, so help him now before it's too late. Hope I helped, and best of luck with your son!

Answer 10

Oh my goodness. I have a 13 year old son and I honestly have no idea what I would do. The punching my infant would probably be the last straw.

I think I would call child services....at least to see what help they can offer you.

I'll be praying for you.

Answer 11

Maybe feeling you don't love him is a reaction to all the stress you've been through. It's unnatural not to love your own son. Still, it seems you really don't have the resources to handle this kid, and your daughter may be in serious danger! I think your son must have some kind of brain damage. If he ends up in an institution or foster care, perhaps it's for the best, but please don't disown him completely.