We have a great sex life, and at the risk of sounding obnoxious, I look much better than any woman that he was doing it to. I am sickened by this. Please help!
2006-08-23 08:10:39 · 51 answers · asked by confused05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Guys watch porn and guys masturbate. He's only betrayed you with his right hand, so there's no reason to be jealous.
2006-08-23 08:12:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
To women a sexual encounter is a statement of intimacy. It involves cooperation,caring,time, concern for anothers emotion and all the other aspects. Your sex life may be great and congrats. To men, sometimes it comes down to simply getting the rocks off. The porn thing is just that. There is no emotional involvement. We realize that the noise is fake and the positions are staged. It is simply about release. The statement about your marriage is that he is not out chasing some cheap floozy and cheating. He is taking matters into his own hands while still being faithful. Maybe you should try it.
2006-08-23 08:21:03 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this situation you may get angry, think to yourself that maybe there is something wrong with you or even think that maybe he is loosing interest in you because he didn't just come to you. I think its natural to feel that way. To make you feel better, I get angry at the thought of my boyfriend doing the same thing just from the pure fact that I feel like another girl has stepped into his thoughts when that should have been my place. I think that the only thing that you can do is talk to him and get his side of it. All these answers that you get really cant tell you what he is thinking or why he does this. The only thing you should do is talk to him. Communication is the key to anything. Ask him if you should have joined him, would he have liked it and tell him truly how you feel, it will not only make you closer by knowing how he thinks but it will also make you feel better.
2006-08-23 08:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by munchkin9247 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really don't need help. That feeling of betrayal comes from the fact that he is basiscaly getting turned on by someone else and not you. It doesn't matter if that is what porn was intended for (to get a rise out of people), it doesn't matter if people think its an ok thing to be doing. None of that matters.
That is the reason you feel betrayed. He is looking at another woman, that is not you.
You need to point this out to him, at lleast try to have some sort of discussion about it with him. And maybe find some way to get him to stop, and refocus his attentions back to you alone.
2006-08-23 08:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I bet he's sickened by the thought that you go onto the internet to talk about what he did.
Don't make a big deal out of it.. men are different than women, in that their sexual needs are more easily detached (and need to be satisfied more often and urgently) than that of women, without their being any love involved.
He just needed to scratch an itch.. no more than that.
Research here in the Netherlands shows 98% of men masturbate, and 80-some% of women, men do it more frequently. 'We all do it, we just don't talk about it', said even this guy in one episode of "Roseanne" when they found out CJ was doing it, and was feeling guilty about it.
Don't embarass your husband.. it's bad enough you caught him in an embarassing moment that should've remained private, don't make it worse. It's really not a big deal. Don't be jealous of some pics on the computer screen.
It would be quite different if he actually knew these women personally and planned to meet up with them or something.
He did it with his hand, not some woman.. be glad!
Many women help themselves too when their hubby isn't around, and rather than watching porn, they just use their imagination.. men can't fantasize as easily as women, they need more tangible visible things. :)
Seriously, if he's not sleeping with other real women, and he's not denying you anything (meaning, you still get laid twice a week on average, ore as often as you want to), you should let him get rid of his excess energy this way.
2006-08-23 08:14:16 · answer #5 · answered by reageer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband also masturbates to porn...it upset me at first but then we talked about it and now I don't mind. I know he's not cheating on me and not going to leave me for anyone, much less a porn chick. He just likes it and I'm not always there when the mood hits him. I would rather he watch some paid professional skank then go find a "real" woman. I suggest you talk to your husband about it and find a solution that you can both live with. Good Luck!
2006-08-23 08:18:01 · answer #6 · answered by chartneck 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, this has nothing to do with looks or his desire for you. Second, there is also nothing wrong with him masturbating. Be thankful that he isn't really cheating on you!
Ask yourself why it makes you so insecure and then tell him. Do you need reassurance that you are sexy and desirable? You might want to say to your husband, "I feel like you don't want me when you masturbate to porn." Then ask him if there's something you can do for him that you're not currently doing in the bedroom department. I'm sure he will respond in a loving fashion. But don't be confrontational or defensive.
2006-08-23 08:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by hannahbean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man's point of view. Regardless of how great your love life is, men still yearn for variety. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you or your sex life. Consider yourself fortunate that he doesn't seek variety in other ways. Look at it from a different perspective. My wife suffers from female sexual dysfunction. If I am lucky, we have mutually pleasing sex once per month. If it weren't for porn and masturbation......I'd have lost my mind long ago. A little porn never hurt anybody........It would be different if he was constantly searching the internet and watching porn while avoiding you. Don't worry, he still loves you and wants to be close to you......don't take offense.
2006-08-23 08:31:04 · answer #8 · answered by wanderingmind 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because no matter how much we know it's normal and they all do it we always wan to think that we alone are enough for our guy. Be glad he's not one of the snakes on here looking to get laid, he's just looking at pics.
Did you ever think of having some good ones taken of you for him... you could give them as a b-day or Christmas present. He would probably love it. The problem is getting someone to take them, he might want to know who that was, ok, maybe not such a good idea.
2006-08-23 08:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men masturbating is natural. The thing that will cause the most stress is that you are not talking about it. Do that, see why he is doing it, maybe he needs something you are not doing for him? Or it is a fantasy of his to do XXXXXXX??? But just because you have a great sex life does not mean that either of you might not want something different too - spice it up.
2006-08-23 08:16:08 · answer #10 · answered by g m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your sex life is great, then it's perfectly normal and okay for your husband to be maturbating. You have no reason to be sickened by it.
Now, if your sex life was horrible and he was addicted to porn or using porn and masturbation as a substitute for sex, then there would be a problem.
2006-08-23 08:12:51 · answer #11 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋