after her death! I feel numd now, was i in denial (un-conciousce) for that long ??
2006-08-23 07:25:12 · 11 answers · asked by tunachunks199 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sorry to hear about all your losses too, and thanks for the answers, si.
2006-08-23 08:09:12 · update #1
Grief runs like a train going down the tracks and there are several stations on the way to the acceptance that you are still alive and those that you mourn aren't -and that is ok.
I think that you have been unconsciously refusing to allow yourself to be one of the living on some levels. That doesn't mean it is a bad thing; but I do think that your mother would be very sad for you. If she could reach down and speak to you ,I feel sure she would tell you to live life to the utmost .
Celebrate her by being the best person you can be. She gave you life and you owe it to her to enjoy what she gave you.
You will heal quicker now that you are able to look at it a little more openly.
Take care and be strong.
2006-08-23 08:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by Christine H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you were not or are not in denial, grief is a very different thing for a lot of people, some people find it difficult to even talk about a person they have lost, let alone look at a photograph or video of them, some people are able to do the crying and photo looking straight away, while for others its a long time coming, grief is a very personal thing to every individual, no one should ever be condemned for not showing their grief on demand, their are no rules to grief and no time limits either, it just affects us all very differently, sorry for your loss though I hope you are having lots of good memories of your mom now you are able to look at her photos again, good luck.
2006-08-23 13:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for the loss of your mum I know how that feels, I lost my ma unexpectedly when I was 37. I still miss her today 13 years later but I remember her warmly and without grief now. The thing is; grief is grief and it will last as long as it does but accepting it and letting out the anger helps to deal with it. The fact that you are now looking at pics & vids says that you are on the mend and will be able to move on with your life. I'm sure your mum would not want you to grieve forever she'd want you to be happy. Everything in life has a price and death is the price we all pay for love.
2006-08-23 07:56:32 · answer #3 · answered by wizard prang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mum died in October 2002 (Halloween)...now and again I still feel sad but now I remember happier things more often than the sad things. All varies from person to person, how they deal with grief. My brother went back to uni 2 days after the funeral, my dad went back to work a couple of weeks after the funeral, but I jacked in uni until after Xmas to get my head together.
It does get easier though, eventually you accept it. Now and again I have a brief moment where I don't believe it but those are few and far between now
2006-08-23 08:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Mum died on my 13th birthday in 1980.
I am now 39 years old.
Grief - well, we have the easy part. The person who is dead is dead and can't do anything about their situation. I just believe that my Mum, if she could, would say, for God's sake get on with it.
The best thing we can do it just GET ON WITH IT.
That's what our loved ones would have wanted, wouldn't they ?
The more you get out photo's and video's of your Mum the better.
Be proud, don't hide them away. Keep their spirit alive.
You are alive because of your Mum.
Keep a bit of you Mum alive by sharing the photo's etc.
Denial is not being loyal to your Mum's legacy, which is, YOU !
People who find it hard to deal with death are really only afraid of when it happen to them one day.
Don't be afraid.
Love, light & peace.
2006-08-23 11:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-05 11:25:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grieving is merly a way of letng the mind go so the soul can heal. Somany people go through various stages when they have lost someone. You may not have been in denial, your mind may have been finding ways to avoid the thoughts of loseing her enabling you to feel less or even no emotional pain.
2006-08-23 08:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by Loku Kina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grief is personal to the individual. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. when you are ready to accept and move on you will. time is a great healer.... I never used to beleive that comment when my daughter died but it's been 14 years now and I can look back and smile not cry.
2006-08-23 07:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, my experience was very similar. A nurse who came to Mum's funeral said the first two years were the worst, I think she was right.
It never stops hurting, but the hurt moves to a place where you can live with it, is that what your numbness is?
Keep her memories safe.
2006-08-23 07:37:10 · answer #9 · answered by peter b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people hurt and it doesn't stop, you just get used to the pain and it seems to lessen, you still have the happy memories and that is what you should keep in your heart. keep loving and the pain won't hurt as much. denial is not letting go, it is holding on.
try to be at peace with yourself. love never dies so why hurt.
2006-08-23 11:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by KU 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋