I have this female co worker, I've tried every way I know to have a pleasant relationship with her???????? but she does some crazy things... when she wants to be your friend , she will wine and dine you , if you're shopping with her she will buy you things, give you gifts for no reason, example: colonge etc......... then out of the clear blue sky she flips the script and she suddenley does not like you ?????????????.....then maybe a week or so goes by she will send me a message saying I'm sorry for acting like that I'm lonely back here with no one to talk to, then I'll start talking to her again and she will do the exact same thing .......what is wrong with her , I'm not one to hold grudges... but she has worked my last nerve, I try to keep the peace at work but its hard
2006-08-23 07:18:17 · 25 answers · asked by Chequetta w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Girl it sound like she is straight up psycho...First of all don't NOBODY need a friend that has to buy friends...something about that is just not right...Straight up! She has some trust issues with a tad bit of low self esteem...People like that you watch out for..For all you know the chick could be a lesbian and don't know how to tell you she has a thing for you...Good luck girl!
2006-08-23 08:16:40 · answer #1 · answered by Simple1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she feels compelled to buy friendship but when she gets friendship she feels repelled by it. It's not you. It's definitely her.
Clearly understand this and then do what you will with it. No friendship is a system of punishment and reward. That kind of friendship breaks the spirit of the relationship and sustaining it could in turn break your spirit.
I think you should have a talk with her about it though. She may not be aware of what an effect she has on you and others.
And if I may interject a little caution into your own behavior (this is not meant as an attack but a warning)......don't let friends buy you stuff unless you're doing it right back. It creates an imbalance in the friendship and your willingness to accept gifts can easily be re-written later in the friendship as a tendency to use a friend. I'm not saying you're doing that but stop anyway.
There's nothing wrong with being a polite co-worker but be honest with her about why you're drawing the line at that. The damage may have been done to you but it may be the beginnings of her awareness within her relationships with others.
Of course, she could malign you behind your back and I'd say that it's likely that she will do this. Beware.
2006-08-23 07:28:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, is her name Judith? Cause I think I worked with her.
Best thing to do is to be politely friendly but keep your distance emotionally. As to why she behaves this way: She has a personality disorder, as in, she is a biatch until she realizes that her bitchiness has caused her not to have any friends or anyone to talk to. Then she wines and dines to get you back, but forgets to pretend when other things are going on and drives you away again. People like this can't seem to help themselves and don't recognize the self destructive cycle they are in. Don't let it bug you, just roll with the punches.
2006-08-23 07:25:55 · answer #3 · answered by blue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chances are she's bipolar. It explains all that behavior. Bipolar is not really that bad a thing and it's nothing to hold against somebody but they go through moods of happiness and then can swing suddenly the other way. My wife is bipolar and one day she'll be the sweetest thing on Earth then the very next day I could be a demon.
2006-08-23 07:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by timhda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does it seem to happen every month? Maybe PMS? Or just a crazy woman who doesn't know what she wants. Sounds like she doesn't know how to handle relationships. She thinks by buying gifts she's cementing your friendship but doesn't realize that there are other things in a relationship that are more important, like communication and companionship.
2006-08-23 07:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by Pigskin Princess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds a bit childish.
U've gotta wonder why she's behaving like this.
She's acting 2 desperate, stops & behaves like a scorned child when she realises she's losing the plot!
I'd B polite but steer well clear, she could B a nutter!
2006-08-23 07:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she might be bipolar. Lonliness will do that to a person. Maybe she has severe social anxiety, too. I would try to figure her out before you start developing a working relationship with her.
2006-08-23 07:20:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time she pulls this flip, tell her that's the last time. She's either your friend or not! This one sounds like she has some emotional problems.....maybe staying away from her is the best thing you could do.
2006-08-23 07:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, best bet is to leave her alone. Work and relationships DO NOT mix...one will get hurt and one will have to quit their job. Sounds like she is very immature and only looking for attention! Leave her alone and find someone outside the office! Trust me you will thank me in the long run for this!
2006-08-23 07:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by Workinmamma 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like bi-polar disorder. Maybe you should politely refuse some of her treats, etc. or pay back in kind right away. Perhaps she's expecting you to repay in kind?
2006-08-23 07:20:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋