im 19 and iv been wit my bf 4 about 1 year and we have a baby girl on the way but he wont let me do wat i want like he picks out all my clothes and he wont let me wear skirts or tank tops and he doesnt really hit me he just slaps me and he says i cant have any friends only him and im only allowd 2 stay at home and clean and cook 4 him but this only happend wen i told him i was pregnant b4 that he was nice thats y i had a baby wit him then he stared slapping me wen my dad died cuz he knew if my dad was alive he could like kill him wat should i do? and were getting married in about a week
2006-08-23 07:13:11 · 15 answers · asked by pink_panther112594 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would change my mind fast bcuz if he cant respect my feelings and wont let me wear what ever i wanted to wear i would find somebody else if i were u.once ur married to him then he might change but if he is abusive then change ur mind quick.
2006-08-23 07:43:53 · answer #1 · answered by Jaclyn S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, since you have asked, you know that this is not the way a relationship should be. The man is abusive, you know that...deep down, you know you do. A man should never hit a woman. The reason he is hitting you now is because of two reasons: 1. Your father is not here to kick the crap out of him, which this guy knows would happen if your father found out. Number 2. You are pregnant. He knows that you can't fight back because you don't want to hurt your baby. Did you ever think that what you feel, your baby feels? It could be both physically and emotionally. If he hits you in the stomach, he could severely harm your baby, of worse, kill it. Do you really want that? I don't think you do. Also, have you ever thought about what is going to happen after you have your child? Chances are that he will hit you harder and harder...eventually doing enough damage that you will end up in a hospital....or dead. Also, what about your baby? You know that he will probably slap your baby around too, don't you? Especially if it is fussy and won't stop crying...he'll probably try some of the "slapping" that he uses on you on your baby also. Unfortunately, it won't be able to fight back, but your b/f already knows this. Your baby can suffer from brain damage or he could kill it.
If you are truly serious about this, about what to do, then listen to what I have told you and what I am about to say.
Leave him right now. Don't worry about your clothes or anything else. The two most important things right now are you and your baby. Go somewhere. It doesn't matter where...to your mom's to your brother's or sister's if you have any. If you don't think you have anywhere to turn...go to the police. Trust me. They will help you find a safe place to stay. Even if you go to a relative's house, call the police anyway. They need to know this. Chances are that if he is as obsessed with you as you say, he will come after you. Please, take this advice. Also, DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN HE WILL NOT CHANGE HIS WAYS ONCE YOU HAVE YOUR CHILD. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE AS TIME GOES ON.
Good luck, stay strong and my prayers are with you.
2006-08-23 07:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is abusive. Get away from him as fast as you can. He hits you while you are pregnant? What do you think he will do once you aren't? You need him to be a man, not your father. Also, you know he is a coward since he waited to start slapping you around until after your father was dead. Don't you want better for your daughter? If she grows up in this environment, she will more than likely end up with a guy that treats her the same way.
2006-08-23 07:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The last thing you want to do is marry him. Even if you are pregnant. My sister was in a situation very similar.At one point in time my mom had to take her and hide her from him, she had to get a restraining order and the whole works after about 8 months she started talking to him again. She went ahead and married the guy. Now she just has to do what he says... or else pay the consequences. He is a control freak, and she knew it when she married him. Now the only time we get to see my nephew is when they need a babysitter. He needs to seek counseling. And you need to hold off on marrying the guy unless you are prepared to live your married life as a stay at home, over worked underpayed slave to the man. Please consider your decisions carefully, I would fear for your safety, men like that generally get worse.
2006-08-23 07:26:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your stuff and get as far away from this guy as you can!!!! I'm serious! He will keep you barefoot & pregnant and control you every step of the way! He has NO right to slap you, pregnant or not. You are too young to be getting married anyway. This child does not need a father like that either!
2006-08-23 07:24:06 · answer #5 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will never change. He is wat he is. He wasnt like that before, becuz he knew that your dad wont let you see him anymore.
My aunt has been married for 20 years, and her husband has NOT changed! She thought that he would change once they got mattied, but he didnt. Just worse. Controled her like she was an animal. He was abusive towards her and didnt let her have her space. This is not the 60s where women sit home and rot. We are individual also. We breath too. He cant keep you locked up in a cage for the rest of your life. I know you wanna wear whatever you want to wear. And I KNOW you want friends too. That is not a normal relationship. I dont know what to say to you, but dont marry him for now, please, I dont know you, but I was talking to a guy that was exactly like that, and I realized I deserve 100times better, and you do too! Just be very careful and watch out for yourself and your baby!
Good luck to you!
2006-08-23 07:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just speak 2 him and explain to him that u need Ur space n freedom.it looks like he's trying to show his power on u.
tell him that u really love him n u would do nothing for him.
if u really love Ur man then listen 2 him for sometimes..as time passes he will realize how much Ur sacrificing for him n he will love u even more.
find out his likes n dislikes and do it for him.
adjust a little if u can and then try convincing him.Ur love can heal him..
good luck
2006-08-23 07:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and have him pay child support. If he is just slappinig you now, you can bet some of your teeth will be on the floor before long. If he will hit a woman, who knows what he is capable of with your child.
2006-08-23 07:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by Richard B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
humm, dosent sounds good at all, dont get married, leave him, i know its hard and you r insecure about it specially because u have a daughter but trust me, u dont want your daughter to experience abuse do you? or see him slaping you or whatever.
Do what its right now b4 u regret it after 10 years.
2006-08-23 07:33:29 · answer #9 · answered by Evangelina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out now,who know what will happen when you guys are married.Look for a shelter if you have to.I had a relationship like this and it sucked big time,I left that relationship,if it weren't for what my sister said to me I would't be alive today.He did steal all my cds/dvds but that priceless compare to my life.
2006-08-23 07:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋