Why do Black Women say that White Women are taking their Good Black Men?

Question

Successful African American Men do not belong to Black Women any more than they belong to anyone else, so why do Black Women say that White Women are taking their good men? As an African American guy, I decided that I wanted to be part of the productive part of society an not just another embarrassing statistic. I have a professional career and do not have any children. Therefore, I don’t owe anyone anything. But why do Black Women act as if I owe them something? Why don’t they claim the African American Men who are not as fortunate as myself but instead very often look down on them, but when guys such as myself reject them, they can’t seem to take it as easily as they dish it out. I’ve watched how the so-called educated Black Women rudely turn down some of my Black Male friends and other guys who are not as fortunate as myself and they seem to have no class or respect, even to the nice ones. But I have more than those so-called educated Black Women(guaranteed), so I feel that they are below my standard...and aside from that, Black Women do not own the successful African American Men who date White, Asian, Latin or any other culture of women - we do not claim them, so they should not be so desperate to claim us. I see Black Women to be the most desperate and selfish because they don’t see how rude they are to reject guys who they don’t want, but when the guys they want reject them, they act desperately by calling us every name in the book - that’s just desperation. Some people are quick to pity Black Women who are rejected by the successful African American men and say that we are generalizing, but I think they should start giving that advise to Black Women who generalize. They are the ones always complaining about being rejected for White and other cultures of women. What a psychotic double standard.

Answer 1

Yes, I see what you are saying here. Many people are quick to consider themselves as being "judged", but do not recognize that trait in themselves. I am of the mind that you should do as you would like to be treated..and that goes for everyone regardless of race, background, etc. I try not to categorize people, but unfortunately many stereotypes come up that are seeming to be more of a reality.
Well, congratulations on your success..I am sure you have earned it. :o) Maybe you can pass me a few pointers..cuz God knows I need it.

Answer 2

You have an obligation to share your knowledge, gifts, and skills to people less fortunate than you -- regardless of ethnicity.

I believe for many African American women, tradition is everything. We are told from an early age that we are the center of our society. Many feel African American women bear the weight of the community. So, by marrying outside of the community, some see it as a betrayal.

I however don't buy it. African American men I view as potential partners view me as either a threat or not a viable candidate. I am well read, educated, well traveled, and highly intelligent. I date with my heart, and not my politics. Ideally it would be easier to date an African American man, but the odds are against me.

Answer 3

There are no obligations in life only choices, drives, passions, necessities, and desires. So any female who belittles herself by judging anyone is sad, but that's what all females do regardless of race. Again I believe it's also the ascribed status vs. achieved status. All males and females are ascribed and all men and women are achieved. Granted some people in general of all races who can't rise the achieved status wants someone on that level as a tool for better things in their personal life.

As for why the psychotic double I believe it's the material images of some people in black culture and some of the negative statistics some males and females perpetuate. Whenever you don't fit into a stereotype it sets you in a higher position which causes all people to take notice.

Now as for claiming I understand because I'm a successful black woman above the average of the cultural median (under 30 own my own home, last year of residency for medical school, no children, no bad reputation, excellent health, strong moral and spiritual beliefs.) Growing up black males, paid me no attention because I lacked what was financially appealing or physically appealing by the stereotypical standards. Now that I've obtain great things in my life for myself and my future generations black males want me, but I only date men who are balanced in expressive and instrumental roles. Black males have hit the roof when I've respectfully declined their invitations. And once they find out I'm in an interracial relationship some act barbaric often trying to physically assault us. So believe me I understand but I don't generalize, it's just sad to know that some people still choice to act petty rather than just living life to the fullest.

Answer 4

As the wife of a successful black man I feel I have some input on this subject.My husband and I have been married for 35 years,we are educated,very financially sound,we have a 32 year old daughter,that is very successful her own right.
My husband is a wonderful, kind, loving,forceful man,and although "Karasi" doesn't think so,my husband says I'm the strongest woman hes ever met,its that strength that attracted him to me so many years ago. I am honest and faithful and would accept no less from my husband or he would have been gone a long time ago.We are as much in love today as we were the day we married,my family accepted him and his accepted me.The mutual respect we share is one of our bonds.I would do anything for this man ,that you are right about"Karasi" anything to make him happy.Whats wrong with doing that for someone you love.Until about 10 years ago I did,cook his food ,wash his clothing and any thing else he needed,but I did it as my privilege not my burden.Since that time I have full time help and no longer do those things,but I still make sure his dress shirts are just as he likes them and his food just right.My reward has been a lifetime of love from a handsome creative passionate husband that ardors me as much as I ardor him.
And yes I am white........

Answer 5

I don't know what women you're speaking of, but speaking as a well educated professional black woman, I don't want anyone that doesn't want me. I don't believe that I've ever had a desperate moment in relation to men since I was sixteen years old. So it might just be the kind of women you seek out that react that way. Generally speaking my experience has been that most black men that don't date black women are weak. They don't like to be challenged and they need constant stroking. I'm not built that way and I don't have patience for men of that character, so I say white women or whoever else have at it. I prefer a strong African American man who knows who he is without the need to let everyone else know who he is. That is just one of the characteristics I seek when looking for a black man (that I've already found), I have not come across anyone such as yourself. I wish you much success in your pursuit of whatever it is your pursuing. Peace.

Answer 6

I already have my 'good black man' so I could care less, nor have I ever felt like I had anything taken from me by any woman, whether they are black, white, purple or green. This is the second post I see from you with the same funky attitude. Stop looking down your nose at people. Having 'more' than someone means nothing without happiness, and I can guarantee there are black women out there that have more things than you do (as if that's important). You sound silly and pretentious. What's the point of what you are saying? It looks like a lot of 'talking but saying nothing.' You must be VERY young. Fresh out of college with your first good job and a few dollars in your pocket, maybe?!?!?!? :) On another post, you describe yourself as modest, but you seem to be anything but modest. Good luck with finding a decent human being that can stomach being around you for more than 10 seconds. It would be more to the point to just say, I DON'T LIKE BLACK WOMEN.

Answer 7

Is true that when you're successful, you'll have more opportunities to choose from than someone who's not. Good for you. From what you're saying, you have quite a few black girls falling for you. Then, without hurting their self esteem, you can just let them know if you're not interested.

Answer 8

Personally, I have no problem with interracial dating. I am glad to see people in love dispite racial barriers. The women that you are referring to must be women of low self esteem. Some white women are actually intimidated by me. I get it all the time, especially if they are dating a black man.

Answer 9

Some of them may want what they can't have. Men and women of any color or race should feel free to date whomever they chose.

Answer 10

Some black women say this, but not as much as you think. Just enough for you to make this stereotype. For the ones who do, they are just haters, for the same reason that any person would hate on another person- jealousy. And also, you have issues... good luck?