My daughter isn't adjusting well to school?

Question

My precious little girl just stated kindergarten 2 weeks ago. I was a little worried about her going to school. During her birth, the umbilibal cord wrapped around her arms, cut off circulation and unfortunately, they had to be amputated. She's very smart but she just doesn't seem to be adjusting too well. Her teacher says that she is a very sloppy write and that she never takes her pens and pencils out of her mouth. She also never volunteers to answer questions. I know tht she's smart. maybe she is shy. The teach also says that she just stares at the other kids when they offer their hands in friendship. She came home crying because the kids always pick her last for wall ball and tee ball. Should I move her to a special school with other people more like her?

Answer 1

she sounds cute

Answer 2

Well it sounds like the teacher may be one problem. Not having her arms to write with does she have prostetics or does she write with her mouth? That could be why she leaves her pens in her mouth. Also why she is a sloppy writer. The teacher needs to cut her some slack. She never volunteers to answer questions because she feels different.( In my opinion) Some kids don't adjust right away and yours has a few more challenges than some. I don't think putting her in a special school is the answer. She will need to be strong to get along in the world, don't shelter her now and she will learn to cope with it. Maybe talk to the principal and the teacher about how they can better deal with her special situation. Sounds like her teacher doesn't know how to deal with her because of her situation. Its her problem NOT your daughters. The kids probably don't pick her because they think she won't play as well. Give her time. Its only been 2 weeks. Kids will adjust to her and her to them and she will meet someone who will like her for her personality. When you were little didn't you have days where you thought you weren't liked? Everyone did. Its called being a kid. She sounds like a perfectly normal kid. Just help her through the rough times. You sound like a wonderful mother and don't want your daughter to be hurt. You can't protect her from the world...Just love her..She will be fine.
Good Luck

Answer 3

My daughter is very shy so when she started kindergarten last year she came home crying a few different days but she did adjust and ended up loving it and came out of her shell a little and made friends. She is also very smart so the teacher would have her help teach the other kids things that she was ahead in. This helped her become less shy. Have you talked to your daughter about it and what does she have to say? I would give her a little longer to adjust. Then if she still isnt happy maybe try another school or if possible you could look into home schooling since it's very popular now days and they even have other home school groups you can hook up with to go on feild trips and to socialize with.

Answer 4

i have a child with Autism and his speach teacher knew him since 3 and he is now 6. On the first day of school she read the class a special book explaining thet not everyone is the same and we must treat all fairly even if differnt. She explained that some kids can not talk well and others can not walk well while others have problems using their hands and arms. I am floored that the teacher would be such a cold hearted itch about a child.
If i were you i would set up a confrense with the teacher and the principle and get this problem kicked in the butt. My son is going in first grade and even with his lack of words he has loads of friends who help him for they understand that friends need to help each other.
Your girls teacher has a big part in helping the kids to learn how to treat others well. Social skills are just as if not more important to learn for when we get in the real world.

Answer 5

give her time. She has to get used to it all. Maybe try to get her some playdates to help get her socialized a bit more.

You can try to "play school" with her with you and her taking turns as the teacher. Let her be the teacher first and see how she mimics what she understands her teacher to be doing, then you play the teacher and see how she reacts. LATER on maybe you can discuss how she should act in school.

Be careful not to be too critical though because something like having her pen in her mouth may be a signal that she is learning. I know I fidget when I learn something - it's just the way I process things. Everyone learns in different ways. Some kids are more visual, or more hands on and some learn by hearing or reading. See what your daughter's learning style is and you can help her then with all of her educational needs.

If she isn't adjusting by let's say another month, then I would ask the school to have her evaluated. They can arrange it for you. Good Luck

Answer 6

I would keep trying. She needs to learn a couple of things in life. She may not have hands but that doesn't mean that she can't do the same things that others can do in different ways. If she is done for too much for or coddled she will continue to have problems. If she is giving it her all and things still aren't going well I think that it would merit taking some action.
From the sounds of it people are reaching out to her for the most part but she is not accepting it.
She also may need some counseling to deal with the fact that she has not got arms and to deal with the things she will face daily.

Answer 7

I don't think that I would remove her, especially since she doesn't have an academic problems. Was she in preschool or daycare before hand? It could simply be that she is shy around the other children if she hasn't spent time around peers her own age. Does your daughter get PT or OT while at school - OT especially would help her with her penmanship and give her different ways to cope with her disability in terms of writing and manipulating items. Try talking to the school and see if they have a counselor that she can talk with - the counselor should be able to give her coping strategies and social skills instruction on how to make friends, how to deal with rejection, how to overcome her shyness, etc. You sound like a wonderful mother who is looking out for her daughter - keep encouraging her to do her best. Try getting her involved in girl scouts, an after school club (soccer, gymnastics, dance, anything that she is interested in). Let her see that she is able to do anything that she wants, regardless of her disability.

Answer 8

Absolutely not! She is as normal as you and I. She has to learn to overcome. This case is a little weird b/c Kids tend to tease people with disorders, but instead your daughter is holding back, when the others are giving their hand to her. She's just scared I guess, but she must learn to overcome the fear of being different, and realize that she's just like any of them. It's HER OWN FEAR.
Talk to her, teach her....Dont ever talk to her like she is different, always tell her that she's perfect.

Answer 9

maybe you should try putting her in special education... It would be alot easier for her to deal. and she would not be so effected by what people say.My step neice is the same way..she was born with very stubby ears.and the made her fake ones.she goes to a special school and she loves that.Try that!!!
the best of luck
god bless

Answer 10

I think you made this up - the umbilical (not umbilibal as you said) cord cannot cut off circulation to arms.
It is not nice to make fun of those who really do have disabilities.

Answer 11

No, I don't think you should move her to a special school. she can do anything all the other kids can do!!! she will adjust


there is a story in the chicken soup for the womans soul called If there's a will. (pg 94)
Please read it. it will inspire you