trying to get pregnant!?

Question

ive been trying for a baby with my husband for about 4 years now and still nothing!

i would have thought that after 4 years of unprotected sex i would be pregnant but im not. should i be worried? and has anyone got any advice on getting pregnant or if you have been through a similar thing?

all we want is a baby and im getting worried now. help!!!

Answer 1

To be honest I would be worried, it is common for people to not conceive after a few months because they are having sex at the wrong time of the womans menstrual cycle, however for you to have been trying for this long I would say there is obviously something wrong and your doctor is doing a very bad job of helping you solve the problem.

Of course, having sex helps to begin with - this would be of course sex without contraception, a man with a woman, penetrative penis to vagina sex with male ejaculation (orgasm from woman also helps!).

Getting a check up with a good doctor is also a good first step to insure you are healthy and they can further advise you - however I cannot stress enough that many doctors are ignorant about issues such as this. It sounds crazy but if you remember that GP's have to learn a lot of information about a lot of different problems, also that they only have a limited time to keep themselves updated and only a limited time with you.
So if you are serious about becoming a parent it is important you look into these things yourself, as it is important to look into anything health-related yourself rather than depending on a GP to know what is best for you.

Now, for the top tip for pregnancy achievement;

Fertility Awareness Method
In very simple terms, use this.

It involves tracking your basal body temperature, cervical mucus and cervical position on a daily basis to determine your fertile days, it would also tell you if you have any fertility problems long before a load of invasive testing by your doctor could because it will show you exactly why you cannot get pregnant by showing where the problems in your cycles are.
It can be used to determine when you are pregnant so saving on home pregnancy tests.
It can even be used to help determine the sex of your child by coupling it with the Shettles method to up your chances of conceiving a boy or a girl. Here's how in basic terms: sperm carrying Y chromosome (boys) swim fast but do not live long, where as sperm carrying X chromosome (girls) are slower but last longer - closer to ovulation the more likely it is to have a boy as they are first to reach egg, further from ovulation cervical mucus will keep the sperm alive long enough for X sperm to reach egg, where as Y sperm will die.
Not only all that but also has life-long advantages of being used next time you wish to conceive (if you choose to again), use as birth control and use for general reproductive & vaginal health, putting your sexual health well into your own hands.

You are only fertile for 30% of your cycle, you will normally only produce one egg per cycle that lives for up to 48 hours, sperm will only live up to 5 days within fertile quality cervical mucus (only a few hours without cervical mucus as acidic environment in the vagina will kill sperm - mucus also needed to help sperm reach the egg).
So if you have sex at the wrong time of your cycle it is not going to achieve anything, apart from perhaps get you and your partner very frustrated and confused.

I would highly recommend getting a book called 'Taking Charge Of Your Fertility' by Toni Weschler, it will set you back around £12 from Amazon or can be picked up at most book stores, and it very much worth what you pay for it.

A lot of areas also have Fertility Awareness Method instructors that would be able to help you learn if need be, these are normally within the NHS and most do not charge, but may ask for a donation from yourself. These trainers can be found by doing a search through FertilityUK: http://www.fertilityuk.org

Sites on Fertility Awareness Method and Natural Family Planning [similar to FAM, however when used for birth control FAM uses barrier methods, FAM does not];
http://www.tcoyf.com – FAM.
http://www.28-days.com – FAM.
http://www.justisse.ca – Holistic and FAM methods.
http://www.sisterzeus.com – Herbs and FAM methods.

On gender selection (if interested);
http://www.in-gender.com – Gender selection.


Other similar options would be to use CycleBeads that are beads that show your fertile and none fertile days, Boots also has an ovulation kit which consists of a little case with charts and a basal body thermometer for £12 that would be similar to FAM, NFP and other ovulation methods but without as much attention to detail – which you do not really need if planning on getting pregnant. You could also go the more hi-tech route by using computers such as Babycomp or Persona that will both tell you when you are ovulating – I do believe you can also get ovulation testing kits, however these are not as accurate at determining when you are fertile.

For more information;
http://www.cyclebeads.com – CycleBeads.
http://www.ladycomp.com – Ladycomp and Babycomp.

Another idea which would be simpler and cheaper, although not as effective, would be to use basic tracking methods and charting these in a calendar or online, there are a few web sites around, most will work on a method similar to the Rhythm Method where it determines fertile days in accordance to your cycle and previous cycles – i.e. your last period was on day x, your next period will be on day y, so your ovulation will be on day z. This is similar to saying that you ovulate on day 14 of your cycle, although in a regular typical cycle this would be correct (ovulation around day 12-16) if you have irregular cycles or simply your cycle is not set to this pattern this can do little for you and end up with you having sex on the wrong days, not falling pregnant and believing there is a fertility problem where there is none.

Basic charting sites;
http://www.fertilityfriend.com – Fertility Friend.
http://www.mymonthlycycles.com – My Monthly Cycles.
http://www.cyclespage.com – Cycles Page.

Then of course a small note is that general health will help, if you are sleep deprived then this can very well effect your chances of pregnancy, as will other factors like sleep, as your body is designed to try to avoid your getting pregnant and carrying to full-term when it is not able to keep you or the child healthy.

Improved diet and an up in vitamins and other dietary needs such as folic acid will help a lot, most people do not realise but your menstrual cycle has a big effect on your body and your general health can have a huge effect on your cycles, if you are in poor health this may prevent pregnancy, in fact a change in diet can fully regulate many women's cycles when they may have had problems for years.

There are also many other natural aids such as herbal or holistic methods that will help you too.

It is best to consult an expert when it comes to herbs, however you might want to consider more common herbal treatments that carry low risk such as Black Cohosh (oestrogenic stimulates ovaries), Evening Primrose Oil (regulates cycles), Vitex (regulate ovulation), Don Qui (regulates cycles & strengthens uterus), Red Clover (rich in coumestans and isoflavones – likened to progesterone).
Don Qui I believe is a bad idea if you have heart conditions, but all others I do believe are safe - things like Evening Primrose Oil are very safe and very common in use for menstrual cycle regulation that will help assist conception, you can actually usually pick this up at supermarkets or pharmacies.
If you go to a health store that sells herbal treatments they will be able to tell you how best to take them, probably in tea form a few times a day, and be able to tell you if there are any negative effects to taking them.

Of course in the end if none of these things work it would mean a trip to see your doctor to find out why, it is either a serious problem with your own reproductive system or a problem with your partner - again, if you use FAM you will know before reaching your doctor what the problem is and so how best to go about dealing with the problem, this will allow you a little more control over your treatment if it is needed.

Within a few months of using FAM you should either be pregnant or know why you are not pregnant.

Answer 2

Hi, try not to get too worried and try too hard as stress can play a major part in failing to conceive.

Depending on your age it is normally recommended to visit your GP if you have not conceived after 12-18 months of trying.
If tests rule out any specific problems such as failing to ovulate, low sperm count , etc then there is a lot of self help you can both do.
Eg:
Stop smoking
Drink alcohol within recommended limits
Take regular exercise (but don't overdo it)
Eat a healthy wholefood diet
Avoid stress and learn to relax.

Some complementary therapies can be very beneficial as they can help you to relax and reduce your stress levels.

Reflexology has been shown to be very effective as it works to bring the body back into balance. At the moment there is a clinical trial taking place at the Derriford Hospital, Plymouth to see how effective reflexology can be when used for fertility problems. To find a qualified practitioner near you visit www.aor.org.uk and you can do a postcode search.

Good luck!

Answer 3

My husband and I tried for over a year with no luck. But my periods were usually not on schedule. So I went to see my OB doctor and he ran some test and performed an ultrasound.
Then his conclusion was that I had polocystic ovarian syndrome and it looked like i was not ovulating. He gave me a prescription that started my period. Then on the 3rd day or so
after I started my period, I had to take another prescription to make me ovulate. The first month I took the medicines, it work. Now we have a beautiful daughter.

Answer 4

the best time to conceive is when you are ovulating, which is roughly two weeks after your menstral cycle, i to had the same problem i was tryin for four years with no joy, there is a site on the internet that is free where they can help you to pin point your exact ovulation time, also factors of your life style could not be helpin, wheyher you are over weight smoke etc, i dont know you so would be hard to say, i read in an articaln that a man to drink coffee half hour before sex is ment to help to boost his sperm but dont knowif true, can help to try, dont know if this helps you at all, good luck thou and dont try to hard, enjoy it!!!!!!!! xx

Answer 5

It took me two and a half years to get pregnant with with my first child I went to my GP who ran some simple blood tests and sperm count which came back normal so he refereed us to a consultant while we were waiting (six weeks) I discovered I was pregnant.
I suppose the moral of the story is don`t worry about it relax. Don`t let it get in the way of your relationship you may be pleasantly surprised with the result.

Answer 6

I would certainly see you family doctor for investigation of sub-fertility.

Investigations that are likely to be carried out (in the UK anyway) are:-
1) sperm analysis for your partner
2) hormone bloods test for you then +/-
3) HSG - a dye test to check that your tubes are patent or if needed
4) a laproscopy (looking inside you abdomen with a camera) with dye test.

An excellent resource I use with patients is the fertility calculator at http://www.repromed.co.uk

Answer 7

Go to your ob/gyn and he or she will run a battery of simle, non invasive tests. Many times there is a reason for the lack of pregnancy that is not cause by you or your partner. Usually things can be resolved by figuring out when you ovulate, by taking your temp daily for a month (the you can narrow it down by taking your temp for 12-24 hours in your "prime" time. Take this one step at a time and speak to your doctor.

Good luck.

Answer 8

It might be worth seeing the doctor but never give up trying (If nothing else, it's good fun!!)

We tried for 5 years and we came to the conclusion it was not going to happen.....however we struck lucky and our baby is gonna be 3 in January!!!

Good luck.

Answer 9

hi i know how you feel I've been ttc for 5 years 3 yrs ago i had a miscarry i had tests done 2 yrs ago stating i have pocs they say lose weight eat healthy etc it is scary at 1st i know that the tests will be sperm test for the bloke blood tests to rule out thyroid trouble for you believer it or not that can stop you from falling on and a tube test to see if your tubes are blocked if so there is a operation you can have good luck chick i have my fingers crossed for you

Answer 10

Go to the doctors to get you both checked out. They'll check yr husband's sperm count and check yr hormone levels.

This happened to my friends. Turns out she wasnt ovulating. She took some tablets and a couple of months later, she announced she was pregnant!

Answer 11

You're trying too hard, relax, enjoy sxx for sxx sake not for hoping you will get pregnant, check you are eating a wholsome diet, give your husband extra zinc which can increase sperm count, give yourself and your husband 1000mg effervescent Vit.c with 25mg Zinc with breakfast every morning, stop yours when you conceive, carry on with your husbands if you want more children.
Good Luck.