I have an obese friend who won't exercise for anything. She says it is too painful. I try to get her to go for walks, but all she does is say 'no'. I'm worried about her because she already had heart failure and has something wrong with her blood. She also has serious swelling in her feet and ankles because she will not put her legs up. Do you have any suggestions?
2006-08-23 06:42:19 · 11 answers · asked by Elizabeth S 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I know you care about your friend very much but as someone once said. "You can't change what you don't acknowledge" if your friend doesn't want to there is nothing you can really do and if you continue to force her she will only resent you. She has to want to change.
2006-08-23 06:44:57 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be there for her as a friend she needs and not what you think she needs. And instead of pressuring her to work out just talk to her about your concerns without pushing the issue of exercise. Pressuring her would only make her more resentful and push exercising even further away. So stress your concern(s) from time and time and hopefully she'll come around. When she does, set small little goals such as eating smaller portions or walking from Point A to Point B in the privacy of her own home. Even walking around the block once for these individuals is a very hard step so you don't want to overwhelm too soon until they are ready. Usually they will be ready when they first lose the initiate 5 lbs. It will be empowering for her. Good luck!!
2006-08-23 06:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by Emi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's rare that women let themselves slide into obesity because food is just so delicious. I think she's eating something away. Some pain or loneliness and she's gotten used to owning her image so doesn't see the point in changing it. You can't make her care about her weight if she detests deeper aspects of herself. And maybe it's not self-hatred, maybe it's fear-based eating. I'll say it again....few women eat so much and become obese because of all that good food. It's fear or pain or anxiety.
I think that counseling is needed by this woman to determine the underlying issues of her obesity and once those are addressed the chances are good that she'll take the measures to correct her killing kind of lifestyle.
But she has to be agreeable to going.
Have you expressed your fear of her health to her? That it's because you like or love her and know that on the path she's on, she won't be in your life for as long as you'd like her to be? Have you talked about this from a non-shaming point of view with her?
Water aerobics and swimming are excellent for people who are obese to the point of physical discomfort due to something as normal as walking. The buoyancy of water will take a huge load off their feet and joints and they feel capable of so much more.
2006-08-23 06:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by badasslilnici 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to be frank with you and share what is really on her mind. Why is she stuburn about taking walks? Walking is very healthy and plenty of people lose weight just by walking everyday. I lost about 23 pounds just by walking regularly and briskly. As time went on and it was easier to walk, I added 3 pund weights to my routine to tone my arms. Also, tell her to try weight watchers. It's a fun and healthy way to loose weight. Nutrisystem, jenny craig, and all that crap just has nasty chemicals. Stick to your own food, not some prepackedged crap.
2006-08-23 06:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep pushing her and build up her self worth. Tell her how others depend on her presence. Let her know how much you need her to be around and how important it is that she takes care of herself better. Be unrelenting.
2006-08-23 06:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her as a friend. She has to want to get better for herself not you are anyone else.
2006-08-23 06:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by kingMe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her you relly want to talk to her in private out of the house and take her to the park and let her make a new friend if she made a new friend then she relly want to play
2006-08-23 07:06:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOK- do you want her to put her legs up or do you want her to walk? If its too painful for her to walk take her swimming. She has to say no repeatedly because you arent listening.
2006-08-23 06:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Luci 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Don't feed her, and tell her to drink lots of water and eat a low-salt diet.
2006-08-23 06:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by annastasia1955ca 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am certainly not a doctor. But I think you should convince her that its all okay. and that she can ease her way into it.
2006-08-23 06:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋