Is this rape or just a misunderstanding of signals? One night I was at home alone talking online and having some drinks. I got too drunk without intending to (because my anti-depressants make the effects of alcohol stronger) and, while blacked out, I drove to CVS for cigarettes (really stupid but I had no idea what I was doing). I parked and then I started to throw up out the window. A guy came by the car and asked if I was okay. I don't know if I let him into the car or he came in. He started kissing me and I said no no no stop sort of writhing around and freaking and he asked what was wrong. I didn't say anything and he had sex with me. I remember I was moaning and everything, and at the time I had no thoughts going on in my head. I blacked out for most of it.
I had been horny lately and maybe I felt like I wanted it. When he was about to enter me, I asked if he had a condom b/c it was my first drunk instinct to say that. Does this mean I wanted it to happen? Rape or not? Be honest
2006-08-23 06:28:51 · 25 answers · asked by cooljuly88 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Definitely rape. You said no. Asking someone to wear a condom does NOT mean that you gave consent to have sex with him. Also, you were under the influence of substances, which calls into question whether you could actually have given consent at all. There is no way some man thinks a sick, vomiting woman who has said no (or even one who hasn't) wants to have sex with him, a man she doesn't even know. Please seek out counseling to help you get through your conflicting feelings, and to discuss a plan for how to keep yourself from being in such a vulnerable position (blacked out, driving, etc.) again.
2006-08-23 06:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by Wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not rape if he stopped when you asked him to stop. If he asked (to have sex), and you didn't protest, i don't think it can be proven to be a rape.
But if there was any force or protest from you during sex (and he continued), it can be called rape, surely.
If the guy wasn't drugged too, he isn't in the clear at all. He very easily could and should have seen you weren't able to make any good decisions. But i doubt if a judge or jury would call it rape. If there's any doubt, he can't be convicted for that. Because of your memory loss, there probably will be at least SOME doubt (you then probably can't prove the guy wasn't drugged too).
It's a hard lesson: NEVER start with alcohol and other drugs. Also not just to 'test it' or 'just in small amounts'. Alcohol is definitely a hard drug. Drugs are just way to addictive. After the very first time you can be hooked for life.
Next to the rape: you should be judged for the drinking and driving thing. AA is not just a option, you NEED to go to the AA.
2006-08-23 06:32:37 · answer #2 · answered by · 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first problem is that you knowingly drank while taking anti-depressants which is in the directions and on the bottle. In a court case this would go against you completely. Second do not drink and drive it is dangerous especially because you were so drunk you vomitted. As for the guy, it was rape because you were drunk and had no control over any decisions, rationally. I dont believe anyone deserves this no matter how they messed up. I think you should get tested for STD's and maybe talk to someone. As for pressing charges you dont seem to be sure whether you wanted to or not , which leaves a man to probably think that you did given the scenario. If you want to press charges you can, but he would probably walk with probation with the given circumstances.
2006-08-23 06:37:37 · answer #3 · answered by mandeline28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ruby - i grow to be interior the Air tension for some years. while speaking to the recruiter, answer questions without postpone. do no longer volunteer strategies that they do no longer ask for. Being raped is an fairly inner maximum be counted. i'm unsure if it could be interior the scientific records that they receive besides the shown fact that it could. while you're no longer experiencing any emotional issues via it presently or while you're no longer taking meds (prozac, and so on) via fact of it then i do no longer see the way it could be counted. i think of they're going to ask you in case you have ever taken melancholy meds or no longer. in the event that they do, you may continually say which you're a sexual attack survivor . while you're no longer "lifeless-set" on the Air tension, verify out the Coast preserve.
2016-11-05 11:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most jurisdictions rape is defined as being without consent. In your condition you could not give consent. The police should have been able to tell you if it was rape, but you have to be serious about filing charges.
Regardless, let this be a lesson to you, do not mix medicine and alcohol. You have seen the results.
2006-08-23 06:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by eferrell01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this was rape. If its unwelcomed its rape. And you being drunk means he took advantage of a situation. Your question is very contradicting though because you say that you felt you wanted it. If you are still having problems coping with this issue see a counselor.
2006-08-23 06:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tias 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you said No it rape,you also should not be drinking and driving.you maybe seeing a ticket from the police for drinking and driving or get a dui and if you go to court don't wear makeup look as innocent as you can because the jury looks at how you are dressing and look,
2006-08-23 06:33:34 · answer #7 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked a potential rapist if he had a condom, well guess you could always tell the judge there was nothing you could do to stop it so you didn't want to catch anything...by the way there is a CVS right down the road from my house next time you decide to drive for smokes
2006-08-23 06:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
as soon as you say no, it's rape.
just because you were horny and thought about having sex, doesn't mean you want some s.t.i. ridden monger getting into your car in the parking lot and humping you.
first of all, this story is a little whacked out and i don't really understand what you're talking about, but as far as i can tell i'm right
2006-08-23 06:41:49 · answer #9 · answered by boop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well lets say you brought it on yourself good thing you did not end up in a locker room dead or beat beyond recognition or killed someone on your way to or from cvs have a sister in law in prison for 4th dui for the same thing you were not fit for the public and should not have been there I hate rapest and really think I would kill someone doing that if I caught them in the act so act more responsible.
2006-08-23 06:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋