We have a 10 year old son that we share 50/50% joint custody. The ex will NOT talk to me. He lets his wife do all the talking. I feel that the two of them are putting negative thoughts about myself and my family into his head. Not directly, but through little cutting remarks here and there. My son has become aggressive toward my daughter (he never was before). I don't know how to handle this situation.
2006-08-23 06:23:48 · 23 answers · asked by Wendy D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to comunicate with your son. Be the best mom you can be. He will start to realize that you are the respectful one.
Do not let him get away with being aggresive, but don't yell at him either. Talk to him. Find out why he is acting that way. Remind him that other people have feelings. Lay out a small punishmet and let him know why.
As he gets older he will understand that you love him and you did your best. Forget the Ex and do not let him or her get under your skin. Hold your head high.
2006-08-23 06:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by grudgrime 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by sending your ex- an email (with a read receipt requested so you know it has been opened on his computer) telling him (and I'm sure she'll read it over his shoulder) that since you share 50/50 custody of your son with him and not with his new wife, you will not be answering her calls and you will speak only to him. When he calls next time, ask if he got your email to make sure he did get it and the new wife didn't intercept it and delete it. If she calls, you will hang up. You will not allow her to be the one to pick him up, nor will you deliver your son to him for visitation. He has to demonstrate a direct interest in seeing his son, not a proxy interest thru his new wife. Be strong....
2006-08-23 06:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by Fuggetaboutit_1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has your son become agressive with "you"? Divorces are always difficult for the children (and for the exes). Just get thru life and pray. Whether things work out when they are matured or not, the thing to do is to get thru it (without killing each other...and I'm joking on that). Separate the two children. It might be just an age he is going thru. If you still have problems then see if you can get them interested in the same sport (badminton, baseball, soccre, running) and let them compete against each other in a friendly manner. Maybe he's at the age where he's getting bored or frustrated and needs to do more male things.
2006-08-23 06:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really can't force your ex to talk to you. If he won't work with you on real problems with the kids then only one parent should be in charge of the decisions. If your just trying to shoot the breeze with him about inconsequential things, what goes on in his home, et, etc, you are out of luck. Divorce is hard on kids and kids do change as they grow up, turn agressive towards family members for whatever reason. Maybe you did something for your daughter that he is jealous of, or he sees her getting more attention them him. There could be a number of reasons for it. Even if your son did tell you they say bad things about you it won't hold up in court. He will have to tell it to a third party, school counselor, teacher, therapist. Do not pit the child between his parents. He could end up hating both of you.
2006-08-23 07:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please have your attorney contact them with a letter regarding this. Talk to your son and tell him that you love him very much and that you would never make up stories or say mean things to him about his daddy and if they are saying mean things about you he might want to ask them to stop. Their immaturity will cause emotional problems for your son and needs to be stopped now. If your attorney can remind them of the agreement in the divorce and you can assure your ex that you want your son to grow up healthy and happy and the two of you along with his current wife need to work as a team. If you don't this will not go away on its own. Remember, you will have them in your life at sports games and school activities and weddings and the hostility needs to stop. Tell your ex that his wife might be acting out of jealousy and she has nothing to worry about, you don't want him back.
2006-08-23 06:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by AggieMom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to work it out as much as you can, and tell her or him that if things are not resolved with in a certain amount of feasible time, then you are going to seek professional help, ie. Lawyer and child counselor.
Set a time frame and stick to it. If nothing becomes of it, then hit the courts.
In the meantime, don't worry about what anyone else is saying. You bite your tongue and take care of your children the best way you know how. Teach them how to grow up to be mature adults. They will know who was there for them when they are older.
2006-08-23 06:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully a civilized talk. Your chief concern is for your son, and your husband's concern should be for him too. It is sad when parent bad mouth each other to the child -- really not fair. Your marriage to your ex, and all of its problems are not of his concern -- they belong to the two of you. And as such, and as mature adults, you and he need to agree that criticism of the other parent is out of bounds. It sounds as if his new wife is really threatened by you, and I don't know how you let her know that you are not a threat...her self-esteem must be in a wheel-rut. Unlikely that you will be able to get them to agree to anything reasonable with regard to your son. So, perhaps you need to get your son into counseling, so that he can learn how to handle all of this. Share this with your ex. Maybe he'll grow a spine in the process.
2006-08-23 06:31:06 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she might want to no longer be allowed to regulate your kin and also you ought to make that sparkling on your husband first and maximum helpful. And in the journey that your husband gained't "become in touch" you ought to bypass to her and confront her with what your sense are your subject matters about what she does. Ask her to justify why she feels she will be able to call the photos at your position of abode. per chance that is stunning that you cope which includes her instantly on. She'll get the message that a minimum of you're literally not intimidated through her. She would imagine she has one up on her ex-husband. once she is popular with you gained't tolerate it she would decrease bypass into opposite. sturdy success.
2016-11-27 00:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your ex wanting her to put you down? Is this why he avoids you? Only you know him well enough to answer this question.
If he is approachable, then make an appointment with him, alone and talk to him about this, about how it is not good for your son.
You have a real tough situation on your hands. If none of the above will work, can you afford to talk with an attorney? If it comes to it, you make have to take some kind of action for your children's sake and your own peace of mind. Prayers to You.
2006-08-23 06:33:06 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and discuss it with the wife. Tell her that you are doing your best for the children so that they will be happy and that it is very important for the children's happiness that everyone get along. Tell her that in the best interests of the children you would like a mutual agreement that there be nothing derogatory mentioned about the other in front of the children.
If that doesnt work, discuss it with your lawyer.
2006-08-23 06:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋