WOW! I love this site have been getting so much help on subjects that are hard to talk about to people I know...thanks
I am pregnant about 11 weeks. I have my first dr appointment tomorrow. This wasn't exactly a planned pregnancy..and to be honest I am terrified to tell my fiance. We wanted to wait 2 years before starting a family. He thinks I am on the pill....which I dont take religiously.
How should I break it to him...I know he will support me but I dont think he will be thrilled with the timing.
Should I give him a card or sit him down? Any ideas on how to break the news to him?
2006-08-23 06:19:04 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Ahh...beck o you made me cry !
2006-08-23 06:28:42 · update #1
I went threw the same thing. My now husband was scared to death but once he heard a heart beat that was all out the window.
I got him a card and a pair of pink booties and a pair of blue booties and asked him what pair he liked best. It took minute to get the big picture, but he stayed calm and gave me hug and we went from there. If the two of you truly love each other then all
will be well. God has timing of his own.
You need to tell him NOW though.
Good luck and enjoy this time in your life.
2006-08-23 06:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by Hollli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to tell you but you are already in hot water. You have known for a while, made a doctors appointment, and didn't take correct precautions and have yet to tell him any of this. I would say sit him down and face him like a women even if your actions thus far have been a little more childish. He should have been the first to know and you should have talk to him about everything including the doctor you decided to go to. You should have told him at first thought that you might. You should have informed him that you were not careful when you took your birth control so that he would know to use an alternate form of birth control. If you can't be honest with him now how do you think marriage is going to be? Be honest and up front and for goodness sakes don't keep things from him anymore.
2006-08-23 06:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by alleycat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I think there may be bigger issues at hand here.
This man is marrying you because he loves and trusts you...one of the things he trusts you to do ....is be responsible and take your pills.
You say the pregnancy wasn't "planned"...well maybe not by your fiance...but you definately had a hand in it....don't kid yourself.
Not only that...but not taking your pills "religiously" can reek havok on your hormones and your reproductive system. You should have been taking them like a responsible woman, or NOT taking them...one or the other...not sometimes yes and sometimes no and maybe when I think about it I'll pop a pill...(or maybe just when he's in the room)...that's dumb and immature, not to mention so unhealthy it's not even funny.
But whatever, what's done is done...if it were me...I really don't know how I'd react...I think the thought of being a father would melt any man's heart...but after the giddyness wears off and he has time to think about your neglect and the fact that you guys "had a plan" and you blatantly and singlehandedly sabotaged it...may make his blood boil a little bit.
Bottom line...you're pregnant. There's no taking it back, it's done. So just fess up and tell him...If you want to further the deception you can tell him "you just don't know how it happened I guess it's just meant to be" and just forget to mention the part about only taking the pills when you feel like it.
In anycase...just tell him...as positively as you can...
Congratulations...
You may want to work on your responsibility, accountability and honesty...especially if you expect to be a good parent and role model, not to mention a good wife and decent human being.
2006-08-23 06:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in his shoes, I would think you were trying to trap me. If you weren't taking your pills regularly and led me to believe that you were, there would be a major trust issue and I would have to think long and hard about marrying you- not about having and supporting a baby that was mine. It shows your level of responsibility, or rather your lack of responsibility. The exception would have to be if you were lax about taking your pills, i.e. forgot to take them everyday. I can understand that because many women get the patch due to not remembering to take their pills every day. That happens, alot. There's a difference between forgetting to take your pills and intentionally not taking them. But even then, you and I would have discussed an alternative birth control method if you were lax, so that may not be an excuse either- this is especially so if ever I ejaculated in you.
It would've definately been easier to break the news if he knew that you weren't taking your pills regularly. This is going to hit him out of the blue.. no card or face to face conversation would change that. This issue is far too important to leave a note on the fridge about.. so I wouldn't suggest a letter, card, or impersonal situation at all. Be honest. Tell him that you forgot to take your pills a couple of times and that you MAY BE pregnant. Let him know that you have not confirmed the pregnancy by a doctor but you took a pregnacy test and it came out positive. You will of course have to tell him why you haven't already told him. I'm sure he'll want to know how you can be 11 weeks pregnant and not say anything to the guy you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with.
2006-08-23 06:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Honey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him...We were trying to get preg with my first child and when I told my husband that I was pregnant(which shouldnt have come as a shock) he went outside for 4 hrs and didn't say anything until later that night. Of course then all he did the rest of the night was talk about the baby. Getting to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time is really exciting to. You should be able to do that if you are 11 wks along. So make sure you tell him today. He may want to go with you tomorrow.
2006-08-23 06:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This would be cute...really consider it. Get a plain white baby onesie, and fabric paint or markers. Write "I love (use a heart instead of the word) my Daddy". Wrap it up, and give it to him, maybe on a picnic, or a mini weekend trip. I think the big problem with telling men you are pregnant is that they hear that, but don't really absorb it, or understand what it means. After that baby comes though, they don't know how they ever lived without that baby in their lives, at least the good guys do, and I am assuming he is a good guy, otherwise why would you marry him. I think the onesie idea materializes what you are telling him, and I think that you should go into this happy, not anxious. And, if he freaks out and doesn't want it, be thankful you haven't married him yet. Good luck, hope you have a happy, healthy baby.
2006-08-23 06:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The exact same thing happened to me also! We wanted to wait till we were married, and then wait a couple years until we had kids (though we did both want them for sure) I was on the pill, but you know how it is...sometimes you just forget!
So I took a P.T. and it came out positive! I was really afraid to tell him, but I knew I had to (obviously) so I waited until he was in a good mood, and not busy. I went up to him, smiled and said "I'm pregnant!" I think the fact that I was so excited about it made him excited also. So when you go to tell him, just be straight forward and sound excited and happy! It makes it a lot easier!
Good luck, and congrats! This experience will change your life, in a good way :)
2006-08-23 06:28:15 · answer #7 · answered by Huliganjetta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck girl. Give him a "congratulations you are going to become a father."
Or make him a card saying Hi Daddy. I am here a little sooner than you had planned but I know you will love me very much. Put a nice baby picture, maybe on of him as a baby on the card you make.
2006-08-23 06:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I want to say that we should be ashamed of ourselves. Who are we to judge? the husband and god are the only ones who can judge this situation. who are we to adv what she needs to do to be a decent human being. it's hard for all of us to be perfect and "decent" on a daily basis. the poor girl asked for advice on breaking the news. she did not ask us to rip her apart for the decisions she has already made. she didn't say i purposely didn't take my pill, she said i don't take them religiously. she didn't give us any reasoning. when i was on the pill i would forget at least a few times a month and all my friends on the pill did also. no one is perfect. i have also met people who have been on the pill, shot, patch, ect and still got pregnant, so there we go. i don't know the circumstances to this situation and i'm sure whatever decisions she has made she will deal w/ the consequences of such.. BUT, sweetheart, to answer your question, I personally agree w/ the white onesie idea that says i love my daddy. i'd go w/ that one!!!
2006-08-23 11:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by missjay78 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just come out and tell him
You also need to be more responsible when taking your birth control pills...really that is the logical thing to do...you say it was unplanned but when you do not use your birth control like you are suppose to then you know what the risks are so it does not have to be planned whatsoever.
Good luck!
2006-08-23 06:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by Coast2CoastChat.com 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋