he only told me about his two older kids. He never told me about his two youngest, I had to find out myself six months after we got together.I accept his kids, but the two youngest I cant fully accept them,since he lied to me. How do I work around it? He knows I cant fully accept them. Do we still get married,or should I be a b*tch and tell his ex.Or how can I get to accept them?
2006-08-23 06:04:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well,not saying anything was the wroung thing to do.but now it`s up to you if you love the guy,still get married.but if it was me,I wait and see what happens and don`t rush into anything.getting married is a big step.just living together you can walk away and not worry about anything.I have four children and I am not hiding anything.I own two houses,and have a job. and two cars. i haven`t found any one to be with.and I find that lieing isn`t the way to go.
2006-08-23 06:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by horseknickers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very suspicious because he already lied by ommision. What else is he not tell you. It's not the kids fault that their dad did not tell you about them. Just like they did not ask to be concieved. I don't think I would marry him until I got full disclosure. If your close to the ex go talk to her. You're in a tuff spot and if you want a happy marriage you need to be able to trust your hubby. Good Luck I hope this helps
2006-08-23 06:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have said you can't fully accept them so that is your answer. Interesting that the reason you can't accept them is because he "lied to me." This is about you and you are taking it out on two young children. If he was bright enough to understand this about you then he would dump you. Do the younger children a big favor and get out of their lives. Unfortunately, they are still stuck with a father who would use them so that he can keep his "lay." Such sadness facing children.
2006-08-23 06:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they weren't born on ur time then what's the problem.. yes he lied, but instead of u making a big deal about it u can either accept it because their his kids or leave him..
now if it were me i'd leave his a s s in a heartbeat.. because why wouldn't he volunteer vital information such as having 4 children instead of 2 even if he never sees them or cares for them.. ur fiance is a liar and guess what u dont' have to accept them because they r not ur children to accept.. they r here and they were here before u and they'll be here after ur gone..
it's a decision that u will have to make alone.. and u need to question his motives as to why he didn't tell u about them as if he were ashamed of them....
2006-08-23 06:15:41 · answer #4 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you still want to marry him after he lied to you? If you go ahead and marry him this will be the first of many lies you are going to have to deal with. Also, I wouldn't want to have something to do with a man who doesn't have anything to do with his children. Just sounds like bad news all around. I hope you wake up and do the right thing.
Good luck!
2006-08-23 06:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he lie to you or just not mention them?
Maybe he isn't a very good father.... but at any rate, the guy has 4 kids by at least 2 different women.... could u have 5 and 6? I suggest you find someone else.
2006-08-23 06:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by WhiteHat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firts, why did he hide the youngest from you? Maybe there is something about him he doesn't want you to learn. My ex hid his son from me, and by the time I knew, we already had a child. Then I found out from his ex how abusive he was towards her, and after many years of an awful marriage, I got out. My husband now is the father my children never had, so think it through!
2006-08-23 06:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by soleil7372 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No reason to be a *****, but call off the engagement until he proves he can not only be trusted, but you feel you can trust him. And WHY would he not tell you about his two other children? And since he didn't tell you about them, who is to say he may even have more.
Just make it simple, "You lied to me about something HUGE. Therefore, I am calling off the engagement until further notice."
End of discussion.
Ask him how HE would feel if roles were reversed.
2006-08-23 06:09:51 · answer #8 · answered by moniquebell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry him. He lied to you about a fundamental aspect of his life and about something that has a direct effect on your future together. He cannot be trusted.
Break off the engagement. Move on. Find someone who will love and respect you. You deserve that.
2006-08-23 06:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he lies now about the important things that are in his life then what so you think he will do later. Accepting them is not the issue he is.
2006-08-23 06:09:44 · answer #10 · answered by starmoeshadance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋