nine years I was my girls mom. We shared a 50/50 love. I'll do this and you do that. That was the first two years of our relationship. Then her true colors started to show. We would argue all the time and I finally moved out. We continued to date after a few promises of 1more chance but I never moved in with her. Things got bad for her she had to split her family3 in all. We managed to make another try at a relationship. The first two months 60/40 alright I settled. Eventulaly the kids came home while she was pregnant with our first. The relationship became 70/30. OK your pregnant with my child yur going 2 be moody. Less stress no problems.( I'm gonna jump so pay attention.) We had a fight one day infront of the kids. I'm trying to defuse the situation by sleeping in the other room. I get upset she gets scared and calls the police. I have to go from my own house. We seperate. We get back 2gether when she's pregnant with my 2nd now it's a 80/20 relationship. I move out of the state.
2006-08-23 05:36:35 · 8 answers · asked by dlittlz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off it should be 50/50. You should have never let it be anything otherwise. You can make her comfortable while she is pregnant but she should still have some consideration for you. If she doesn't, it will only get worse. Unfortunately, you will have to pay child support for 2 children. Its sounds like she is emotionally abusing you. Enough is enough. Move on to someone that will respect you.
2006-08-23 05:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by jazzyjen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ther was some love, but not alot of it. but damn homie, you got problems - not in a bad way, its just that you are dealing with a lot. If you was your girl's mom for 9 years, then obviously you are more the mother and the father than she is. Now as far as the relationship thing: you and her need to come to an agreement: either she leaves you alone, or vice versa. it wont help the situation if you keep running away from your problems. It sounds like you both need to sit down like adults and talk this over. So maybe one day, take the kids to thier relatives or friend's house and talk to her. She is an emotional wreck. From what you are sayin, it seems like she is too immature to handle a relationship. You have to help by being patient with her, and she cant be gettin upset from all the dumb shiit she may have heard from other people. You cannot "defuse" the situation by backing out on her. If she called the cops, then its a definite no - no on her part. if you are doing your best by working with her and she is not cooperating, then you need to leave her alone indefinitly, but still neither one of you are COMMUNICATING!! It cant be 80/20 relationship if you are bouncing out on her. Try not to be so materialistic when it come to residency. So, what you can do is get an apartment or a townhouse about 5 or six blocks from her and be able to see the kids. *** her and think about the kids. sometimes in relationships, people tend to go at each other, and kind of forget the children. This is too much back and forth stuff. You and her have to come to an agreement. If it means getting partial custody of both of the kids, then so be it. She needs to calm down or get some professional help before she hurts herself and/or the children. Once you have kids, its NEVER going to be about you and her anymore. I will tell you, any woman is an emotional creature. But its how a woman handles her situation as a WOMAN and as an ADULT! you seriously need to move on. You cant be runnin away from her, thinking it will solve problems, and she cant b e callin the cops like a crazy nut. Ya'll keep this shiit up, this will mentally damage the kids. Children learn from what they see, especially with thier parents. You dont want to set a bad example. Be a good parent, and if homegirl wants to act like a biitch, then let her. The children will respect YOU becuase u love them and spend time with them, and care for them. Do what you do, but you need to leave her alone, even if she has your child. I have a child with my sperm donar, but i know he was an assshole and i refuse to be miserable trying to stay with him for the sake of my child. I could do without and you can too. Think about it.
Best of luck.
2006-08-23 06:20:08 · answer #2 · answered by nyc_ladydragonsamauri007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a very slow learner, aren't you? Gee, all these signs of mental instability and you miss them all? The woman is nuts. And so are you! Love? Who knows, who cares...it really doesn't matter..you now have 2 children to support for many years ... for what? Wise up, buddy, open your eyes the next time around...do you think so little of yourself that you allow yourself to be treated like this? You need some time to work things out in YOUR head before you even date someone else. good luck, and I don't mean to sound harsh, I am just being honest..if you have been honest.
2006-08-23 05:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get your love ratios 50/50 etc. But you are fighting a lot to stay together and yet you keep making kids.
There was probably love at some point, but you aren't making it sound like there is. The ratios are an example. If you love someone, you give without keeping track. If you are keeping track, you don't love them anymore. It's as simple as that. If she stopped showing you affection, that's one thing, but if you feel that you are just the one who has to suffer more, then you are just doing it all wrong and probably don't love her anymore.
2006-08-23 05:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you write notes about her too? Sounds like you need to see someone like a DR. and move on. Head games all the time. There are many others out there to choose from.
2006-08-23 05:50:50 · answer #5 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read your story and this is not the way that love is between two people, sounds to me that misery love company. love is giving of yourself to some one that feels the same as you. i don't believe marriage is about bargaining, to get your way, that is plain selfish. It is possibly true that yes you loved her, but I don't see it in return. but then again there are two sides to every story. so with that said, I hope you and your wife seek counseling, also I believe in looking to your higher power for guideness of your marriage.
Best wishes to the both of you, and good luck.
2006-08-23 05:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First HOW THE HELL ARE YOU "MY GIRLS MOM"? I mean HOW? Second you sound like a whiney loser....so I hope she divorces your sorry ***. MOVE ON!
2006-08-23 05:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huh??? What's that????
2006-08-23 05:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by babe_of_spanish_gladiator69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋