Would you confront and/or get even with the.....?

Question

third party your married partner had affair with? Assume you know who and where the person can be found.

If yes, what would you do and why?

Answer 1

You want to get even with the third party? It takes two to tango....how did you get even with your husband/wife? Why do you assume it is the third party's fault. Most people "cheat" because of something that is not quite right in the relationship. I wonder if you have addressed the problems of your relationship instead of thinking about getting even with the third party. Your energy would be better served concentrating on working on your relationship,. If you are together now, then it has to be a new start. I dont know the details, but if you have taken your partner back, then you have forgiven him/her? If all you want to do is make the guilty parties pay, then you are going to make your partners life miserable. People make mistakes, you either move on or let your partner go. He/she cant pay for that mistake for the rest of their lives.

I know a man who cheated on his wife....she begged him not to leave her.....she threatenedd suicide if he did leave her. He is not in love with her, but because of her pathetic outbursts, he stays out of guilt. She is the one who begged him to come back, yet she has made his life unbearable with her constant inuendo's and insecurities. She constantly cries and shakes wanting her husband to love her again. The only way he can calm her is to tell her the things she wants to hear even though it is not how he feels. This woman, if she doesnt stop with her stupid behaviour will end up losing him regardless of whatever threats she makes. A person can only put up with so much. What she should be doing is accepting that he is there because she asked him to be and start being a wife to the man instead of a silly pathetic little child. She wanted him to stay with her, so she should be concentrating on the relationship, not on what has happened in the past. The same applies to any person who takes, beggs their partner to come back. You forgive them and get on with it, not wanting revenge for something he/she has done.

Answer 2

First I would confront your married partner first, because the other person the marries person is having an affair with might not know he/she is married and could possibly be just as much of a victim as you. Aslp, it could have just been a one time thing. Was it an affair or a one time mistake? The best way to get even is, if divorce ends up being the answer, using adultury to get money out of your married half. I hope this helped put a perspective on things. Good luck!

Answer 3

No, I don't do such things coz it made me look a bad loser in this relationship. Since you already know that your spouse have an affair with the third party, what you need to do is you should decide if you want to carry on the agony of being together with him or leave him. This is something you need to consider carefully before you made your decision. But don't let your kids future affect your decision

Answer 4

The person you should blame is the cheating husband. He is the one who made the commitment to you and promised before god, family and friends to honor and foresake all others. The person he was with had made no comittment to you. If you feel the need to get even, get even with your husband. Tell him you are to important to yourself to let him tear you down the way he did. Tell him life is short and that you are going to move on and find someone who will put you first. There are to many diseases out there now and some kill. You don't need that or deserve it. Hold your head high and show him you can make it without him. I did that 12 years ago and have never been happier. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

No. For many reasons.

First hate is easy it is love that is difficult. You do not mention
the current state of your marriage...

Second it lowers you to the level they played on...

Third it can be physically dangerous to you for no net gain other than 'revenge'- AND although that can be a powerful motivator the damage you have incurred will NOT heal on that path- only fester.

Fourth there is no greater chance to think then to be in jail thinking of your spouses misdeeds(and why no visits?) while the guilty parties are 'outside'.

Need I list more??? I hope your understanding has begun and you put your energies into a more positive avenue for yourself(for sure) and your spouse(maybe- remember second hardest thing after love is forgiveness- wait that's wrong- it is part of the love thingy).

Good luck and I will hope for your speedy healing...

Answer 6

Revenge sounds good in the begining, but after a while it still doesn,t change the fact that he cheated on you. You'll still be looking for ways to get even.The only thing I can sugest that you do is forgive both parties ,and you'll feel alot better. Forgiveness erases all the hurt you are feeling right now .In the end they will see that you are the better person for it .Seriously think about it before acting on anger.

Answer 7

personally.. i wouldnt confront either my partner nor the 3rd party. i would simply forgive my partner and not mention any of this at all. and have the 3rd party "taken cared of", and make it look like an accident.

that's me.

as for you, just do what you feel is right for your situation. nobody can really give you the best advice. but whatever you do, it shouldnt be something that will damage you more than it is already right now.

Answer 8

Damn right I would confront them! Especially if I know who they are. Why Not? I would be polite at first and see what their reaction would be then take it from there. I've been in a situation like that in the past but never got the chance to confront the person.

Answer 9

Why?

Third party is not the problem. Married partner is.

Get even with third party and then there would be another. You should be going after the problem. Married partner

Answer 10

There is nothing to gain from revenge or confrontation........the deed and the damage have already been done. The third party was not married to you, your partner was. Leaving is the best revenge.....