we've been staying together for all those years and now he says God is speaking to him so he would'nt like us to be in that fornication so he is ready to perform the custormarry rights so that we will be free from fornication.Now he say he has 2 sons which was unexpercted when he was in school.He and his family has deforce that girl so the childern are with his mother. He has introduce me to his family and they ascepted me.I am 23yrs old and he 24yrs. Now I do'nt want to loose him and we also don't wont to sin against God in this fornication since we are christains.
He can not stay without me neither can I. Now I want to kwon if I should let him go on to perform the custormarry rites or not .And also is it adviceable for a girl of my class to marry such a guy becuase I'm scard I may face problems in future. He broke my virginity. we are all working with good salaries. what should i do?
2006-08-23 05:14:06 · 16 answers · asked by rosevclass 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what do you want to know if you love eachother and want to get married by all means get married. the fact that he has 2 children with someone else shouldnt change that as long as you are willing to love and accept his children as if they are you own but accept that they are not. It is not an easy task but if their mother isnt there making things hard on you there is no reason at all why you shouldnt have a happy life and family together if this is what you really want. He isnt married to or still involved with his childrens mother is he? If thats not the situation then by all means set the date and contact me if you want any help organizing your wedding thats what i am good at. take care and good luck
2006-08-23 05:20:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wanting to marry you is fine but after 2-years you found out he had 2-sons whom are with his mother. You said you met his family and they accepted you, where were the kids when you met his mother? Be more than sure about marrying this guy because you should know that if you do he would want you to take the responsibility of his 2-kids so ask yourself if you are ready for this. In the future your going to want kids of your own + 2 that already exist. It's up to you if your love is good enough to handle it. However I must say you are young and as you say have a good salary and I personally think you should think about this more than twice before you take such step. Oh and about your virginity, don't let that be the fact or reason in feeling in obligation of getting married, honey to find a good relationship now a days it is not a "must" to be a virgin. Sweetie, think good before you make any decision and the best of luck for you if you decide to take the step.
2006-08-23 05:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by ladydi9red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you move and chill out...this is a lot of information...and he should have told you all this long ago. I do not beleive everything here is at face value...he has already abandoned one family, and it sounds as if he wants to play the field again...be very careful, dear. He should be payng considerable Child support monthly for those two children. Is He? He will be paying until each is at least 18 years old! Are you so sure you want to take all this on? I would step back and take a real look at this situation, something is wrong here.
2006-08-23 05:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you all have been living together all this time and he never told you about the 2 sons. What else has he not told you. Even though he's a christian and not perfect, he is not a honest one. Just be you lost your virginity to him does not mean you have to perform the customary rites. Give yourself some time to think and some time apart. Think before you perform any rites ceremonies with this guy. He's not very truthful.
2006-08-23 05:47:23 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to be on his side about why he lied or hide not tell you the truth about his children earlier of the relationship as it because he didn't want to lose you. BUT...read it through again...thinking hard.....He must have more than one reasons not telling you the truth.....I don't think it is about the issue of love, if somebody really love that person NO MATTER WHAT!...have you seen a pregnancy woman have a new lover while she is pregnant???Have you ever seen the mother of 4 children have met her soul mate?????......Only you know best, should you take it or leave it :-) good luck *This is a very hard decision to make, you can't take any advice on here as we don't know your story in much detail.**Remember don't take religious, virginity or culture things for your decision making.
2006-08-23 06:09:08 · answer #5 · answered by SERENE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a blended foamily is one of the hardest things to do. You need to really ask yourself if you are ready to not only be a wife, but a mother to two step children. I have two stepsons and when I first got married it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. It put a huge strain on my marriage, I spent nights crying by myself because my husbands kids were so mean to me. Another thing to take into consideration is if you marry this man you will always have the mother of his children in your life forever, it takes sometime to get used to. Really think about this before you leap.
2006-08-23 05:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you're infatuated, you're clouded by ability of stupidity. once you're in love, and the different guy or woman loves you, you're guided by ability of reason. i think of you're able to go away him, he would not deserve you. the only clarification why he treats you like that's via fact which you enable him. Now he thinks much less and much less of you via fact which you chosen to be the different lady. even after he advised you he's getting married. DONT ACT desperate, you're greater advantageous and greater advantageous than that.
2016-11-05 11:13:09 · answer #7 · answered by ai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are three sides to the story his hers and the truth find out the truth you don't know all the facts but speak to the mother of the kids that's you best bet chances are he wont want you to the Cristian thing would be no divorce or turning you back on your children sounds too fishy find out whats up but I'm sure you wouldn't want to be in the cold kicked to the curb by a Cristian family with your two kids.
2006-08-23 05:21:39 · answer #8 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the issue here more that he was not honest with you about his previous partners and history before you started sleeping together? Seems to me that the social/religious perspective is secondary to whether you feel he has treated you honestly and whether you feel he will be honest during your married life together.
2006-08-23 05:20:09 · answer #9 · answered by welsh_witch_sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would not marry him and find yourself a nice single childless man, you don't want this baggage thats comes with him. there are plenty of good men out there, ones that don't lie to you and not tell you about the children in the first place , what else is he hiding from you be very careful of him
2006-08-23 05:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by ♥fluffykins_69♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋