I'm in a situation,my boyfriend always went to be in control and I really don't know what to do. I try talking to him but he don't went to hear anything I say.We have a situation yesterday and he was with his friends,it the time he was pick me up for work and his friend was in the truck.Then that's when he ishow me up in front of his friend.I feel so bad but he didn't have to do that's in front of them and they all lol at me what should I do about this mader Please I need som in put Please.
2006-08-23 05:07:54 · 22 answers · asked by Myrna S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Let him be in control.
2006-08-23 05:10:02 · answer #1 · answered by elw 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have to ask one thing.... Are you a submissive personality? Some of us like to think we don't like being controlled; but the fact is there are people out there that do. Do you always go where he decides he wants to go for dinner? Do you ever pose your feelings or intent in any matters between you two? If not then you are being submissive.... and if that makes you feel unhappy then stop doing it. Because you are only perpetuating the problem. If you want it to change then tell him how he makes you feel and demand a few thingsfor yourself. The problem is he already displays sign of an obusive personality. If he makes you feel that he is being abusive (which it what you are saying above, but only verbal abuse) then ditch his punk a$$.
2006-08-23 12:21:56 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny Midknight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all know guy should ever have control over you, let that be known. That's disrespect and your boy should always respect you. Trust me I've been through it, there's a point were you need to tell him that you need to talk to him about the situation and that's that. Controlling can also lead to physical abuse (I've been through that too). I'm not saying make a decision you'll regret because if you love him you cant change it. Eventually it'll become STRESS FULL so handle it now or let it go. Before someone gets hurt. Good Luck!
2006-08-23 12:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump him...you don't need that disrespect. Seriously, there's plenty of dudes out there that will treat you with respect. But the first thing you need to do is respect yourself....and stand up to your bf. Tell him the F off and walk the F away and never look back. Girl, you don't need that drama in your life.
Boys are a dime a dozen and when you realize you have the upper hand just because you have boobs will be a revelation to you. Use what God gave ya for good (meaning finding a nice man) and dump the looser.
2006-08-23 12:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know this is a problem or else you wouldn't be asking. Time to move on to a real man. Don't doubt that there are men that are out there and would LOVE to treat you with respect and love. Your situation will do nothing but get worse if you stay with this guy. If he does that in front of friends ...what will he do when you're alone? You need to be on a pedestal not beaten down with one. Hold you head high as well as your values and expectations.
2006-08-23 12:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
To put it very bluntly, you learn to like what he does because he's going to continue to do it. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It will not do any good at all to ask why he does it. He probably doesn't know without a good deal of therapy. My brutal question for you is why do you allow yourself to suffer the indignity of abuse? You are a worthwhile person capable of good things. Do you NEED the abuse because you don't feel good about yourself? You do not need to go through the pain. There are guys out there who will respect and honor your feelings and you should require no less that that.
2006-08-23 12:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control freaks turn into abusers. If he is not willing to listen, then you need to do whats right for you before the bruises and black eyes come about. The more he realize it is easy to control you, the less respect he is going to have for you and it will get worser.
People can change but they have to be willing to. If he show no efforts then baby girl he simply don't give a f*ck.
Try it on him and see how he respond. Demand him to do something, if he get mad explain to him thats exactly how you feel when he do it to you. If that don't help the situation, then he needs professional help or you need to leave.
2006-08-23 12:19:32 · answer #7 · answered by redbone_lds 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey life is too short to spend with a person who disrespects you in any type of way. Whether that be friends or lovers. And any male who airs personal business between himself and his woman in front of his friends is not a man at all but an immature boy. Remember that one mans' trash is anothers mans' treasure. You desire to be able to offer your input in matters with him, and you have the right to not be embarrassed and you have the right to not be controlled. Usually when men have control issues they are afraid of something, they may feel as though dominating and controlling their woman is the only way to treat her and keep her in line. The fact of the matter is: We as women are not property nor are we these mens' children you are his EQUAL and should be treated with the respect of being his equal. If he disregards what you have to say and treats you in a manner that you don't like, HONEY MOVE ON! Your not married to this man, and hopefully you don't live with him. Trust me he is not fixable, he has some issues he needs to work on before he can be anybody's man, with his main issue being: HE HAS TO GROW UP FIRST! Love yourself enough to know that you deserve a Man who loves, respects, and values yous. This guy, He ain't it!!!!!!
2006-08-23 12:17:11 · answer #8 · answered by Fairy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Apparently your boyfriend does not really care about you. If he puts himself and his friends ahead of your feelings and embarassment on a regular basis.
What you should do is find a different man that will treat you with the respect you deserve.
2006-08-23 12:12:36 · answer #9 · answered by ADF 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You do not desserve this type of treatment. Tell him how you feel. If that does not work and you cannot communicate with him. Then you need to find someone else who will treat you with the proper respect that you desserve.
2006-08-23 12:12:12 · answer #10 · answered by rkb12584 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that the solution to every problem is dialogue.its something every couple should have.i dont know what your relationship with him is like but i believe that dialogue is the answer.with no screaming and shouting and insults please...that will only make things worse.take it from me.Im in a bit of a problem with mine because i completely flew off the handle.Anyway...you two ought to talk k?and if dialogue doesnt work i dont know what else will.
2006-08-23 12:14:52 · answer #11 · answered by moonchild 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋